Unwritten
by caffinate-me
Summary: "Richard Castle meet your new muse, inmate number 40415: Kate Beckett. Good luck." AU. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Unwritten

"There's always a story, always a chain of events that makes everything make sense."- Richard Castle

Plot: AU. Why mystery novels? Why death? Why the macabre? Why did Richard Castle start writing about these things?

The chain of events: Young Richard Rogers witnessed something that caused him to become obsessed with the story- the chain of events that makes everything make sense. He becomes a bestselling mystery novelist.

After Kate Beckett's mother is murdered she needs the world to make sense again, she needs to know that closure is possible, that the good guys do win and the bad guys go to prison. She finds solace in Richard Castle's novels. She becomes a cop motivated to fight for justice, to help victim's families find closure.

But what if it didn't happen like that? What if that event never occurred? What if that first story was never written? What if… what if… what if…

A/N: So this is a little different. Thank you Angie for being my (unwitting) sounding board for this one! & as always, thank you to my awesome Beta Deb. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of it's characters. They are property of Andrew Marlowe and ABC. I just like to take them out to play and change their backgrounds a little ;)

* * *

Chapter 1

_The Story: _

_Richard Rogers glanced over his shoulder, pausing when he heard a scuffle coming from the alley. He could have sworn he heard someone crying. _

"_Hey Rick, come on man, we're gonna be late!" Daniel threw over his shoulder as they wove their way through the bustling evening streets of New York City. _

_It was a cool November evening and sixteen year-old Rick Rogers and his friends were on fall break from Edgewyck Academy. _

"_Did you guys hear that?" Rick called back as his friends continued down the sidewalk towards Times Square. _

_Daniel and Steven paused to glance back at the young man. Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets as Steven lifted a hand to the back of his neck, shrugging. "Didn't hear anything, man. Come on, we're gonna be late. Those chicks said they wanted to meet at the coffee shop at 8. We show up at 8:05 and they might be gone. Pretty girls like that don't wait for guys. Even if they do happen to be ruggedly handsome like us."_

_Steven brushed a hand over his shoulder, smirking at his own joke as Daniel chuckled by his side, striking a pose for Rick's benefit. _

"_No, man," Rick shook his head, already moving back towards the alley. "I heard something, it sounded like crying. Come on, we should check it out."_

"_Rick, come on," Daniel whined but Steven was already striding back toward his friend, both of them turning to the dark alley. _

_Daniel let out a sigh as he took off after them, jogging slightly to catch up. _

_The trio, slowed slightly as the whimpering grew louder and they shared a glance as they began to make out the soft, strangled pleas. Rick peeked around the corner slowly; his hand resting against the brick wall. _

"_Hey!" He called out when he saw the shadow of a young woman; streaks of tears and mascara running down her face as she was held against the wall of the alley, a knife twisting into her gut. The dark-haired man holding her turned his head, startled by the sound. His hand pulled back, letting the young woman's lifeless body tumble down to the ground. _

_Rick surged forward, Daniel and Steven hot on his heels as he dashed towards the woman, the man taking off down the alley. _

_Rick spared the retreating figure a quick glance before falling to his knees next to the woman, two trembling fingers pressing against her neck. _

_He sucked in a short breath as he searched her neck frantically for a pulse, picking up her limp wrist pressing his fingers to it when he found none. _

"_Daniel, call an ambulance!" he yelled over his shoulder, and faintly registered the sound of his friend's retreating footsteps as he ran back out of the alley. _

_Rick sagged back onto his heels as his hand moved back to the girl's neck, feeling for the pulse in vain. His other hand pressed into her stomach, the sickly sweet metallic smell of blood wafting towards his nose as the sticky red fluid oozed around his fingers. _

"_Rick," Steven called softly as he crouched down across the body from his friend. "She's dead Rick."_

"_No, come on!" Rick moaned out as he pressed his fingers against the soft flesh under the girl's ear again. _

"_Rick, man" Daniel stated, as he came back up behind his friend. "Cops are on their way but look at her. Track marks on her arms, the clothes, hair and bruises. She's just some junkie prostitute. She's dead man."_

_Rick sank back on his heels, his hands drifting off the body as he continued to stare down into the sunken lifeless eyes shadowed by streaks of too heavy makeup and black circles. _

_She was dead. _

"_Who was she, what's her story?" Rick asked the detective quietly as he sat leaning against the back of the squad car, an untouched rapidly cooling cup of coffee cradled in his still blood soaked hands. _

_The detective shrugged, snorting gruffly. "No story kid. She's nobody; a Jane Doe. Probably a drug deal gone wrong, or a ripped off pimp."_

"_No," Rick shook his head. "There's always a story. A chain of events that makes something, someone like her make sense."_

_The detective sighed, clapping a hand down on Rick's shoulder before he pushed himself off the back of the car and ambled back towards the alley. "Go home kid. Try to forget this ever happened. Nobody else is going to remember."_

_Rick stared after the balding detective's back until he disappeared out of sight. _

"_Rick," Steven started as he and Daniel walked up. "Come on. Let's get out of here. We have our IDs. Daniel and I are in need of a stiff drink."_

_Rick's head spun towards his friends, startled by the sight of them, just then remembering that they were there with him. He deflated back against the cruiser, shaking his head as he carefully placed the now cold cup of coffee on the trunk. He brought a hand up to rub his forehead, catching a glimpse of the dried blood on his skin, his stomach churning before letting his hand fall back to his side. "No, you guy go ahead."_

_Rick turned to walk back down the sidewalk away from the alley, away from Times Square. _

"_Where are you going?" Daniel called after him. _

"_Home," Rick called back. "There is always a reason why- why she was here, why she got into drugs. She was abused, a run away. She witnessed a tragic event, her best friend was killed when she was five in front of her and it sent her into a downward spiral. She was an undercover cop. She was in witness protection. There's a story there and I'm going to write it. Someone needs to remember her."_

* * *

What if…

Richard Rogers glanced over his shoulder, pausing when he heard a scuffle coming from the alley. He could have sworn he heard someone crying.

"Hey Rick, come on man, we're gonna be late!" Daniel threw over his shoulder as they wove their way through the bustling evening streets of New York City.

It was a cool November evening and sixteen year-old Rick Rogers and his friends were on fall break from Edgewyck Academy.

"Did you guys hear that?" Rick called back as his friends continued down the sidewalk towards Times Square.

Daniel and Steven paused to glance back at the young man. Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets as Steven lifted a hand to the back of his neck, shrugging. "Didn't hear anything man. Come on, we're gonna be late. Those chicks said they wanted to meet at the coffee shop at 8. We show up at 8:05 and they might be gone already. Pretty girls like that don't wait for guys. Even if they do happen to be ruggedly handsome like us."

Steven brushed a hand over his shoulder, smirking at his own joke as Daniel chuckled at his side, striking a pose for Rick's benefit.

Rick glanced back at the alley before looking back at his friends, goofing around in the middles of the sidewalk- Steven flexing his muscles, quipping about a 'gun show' and Daniel sticking out his backside, asking passing pedestrians if his shirt made his butt look fat. He let out a chuckle and shook his head, shrugging off the sound and jogging the few steps to catch up to his friends.

Daniel clapped a hand down on his shoulder. "You're too obsessed with death, man. Sometimes a sound is just a sound. Sometimes an alley is just an alley. There doesn't have to be some resounding conspiracy behind it, a wild spin of a tale. Just tell the stories that are there."

"Yeah," Rick agreed, reluctantly as the trio made their way towards Times Square and their impending dates. "Sometimes a story is just a story."

* * *

Richard Castle took a deep breath as he pressed the intercom at the gate, listening to the telltale shrill buzz of the alarm as the lock clicked open. The wrought iron door swung open and he stepped into the small room. There was a pane of bulletproof glass to his right and a single metal detector in front of him. It was his first time at Bedford Hills Correctional Facility and he could feel his gut clench as he took in the steely faces of the women around him.

He had been in prisons before, a hazard of the business he was in but this was his first time in a women's prison. It was different, tougher. The women, the guards, had steel in their eyes. No leeway, no backing down. He could at least joke with the guards at Rikers, bump of the fists and talk about the latest ballgame but here, he felt like he might be castrated if he spoke a syllable.

"Richard Castle," he announced himself to the woman behind the glass. "I'm a writer; I'm here to interview one of your inmates."

The woman eyed him warily before picking up the phone and confirming with the warden. She gave him a short nod before advising him to place his valuables in the tray in front of him. He emptied his pockets, clutching his recorder, pencil and pad of paper tightly as he walked through the metal detector, jumping slightly as it let out a shrill beep.

"Belt," the woman to the side of him stated and he gave a short quick nod before hurrying to place his items on the counter and slid his belt out of the loops, stepping backwards and then forwards through the metal detector again.

He let out a silent sigh of relief before hastily picking up his pad and recorder and falling into step behind the guard who would take him to the warden.

* * *

"You sure you want to do this Mr. Castle?" Warden Carter asked as she led him down the hall to the meeting room, her long dark brown hair curled into a tight bun at the base of her skull, the top pulled tight against her scalp. "She shot a guy in the head, point blank range. She wasn't provoked. She just murdered him, no reason. There is no fancy story here."

"I'm not here for a story, Warden. I'm here for the truth, that's what I write," Castle retorted.

"That's right," the Warden scoffed back with a slight smirk. "You're a true crime writer. Like I said, there are much more interesting 'true crimes' here. Well that's not true, if you ask any of our inmates, all of the stories are just figments of the cops imaginations. At least she doesn't deny that she did it."

Castle shook his head, dipping it slightly towards the warden as they stopped outside the meeting room, a guard standing mindfully outside the heavy metal door. "No ma'am, this is the one I'm interested in."

"All right then," Warden Carter sighed, motioning for the guard to unlock the door. "But don't say I didn't warn you, she isn't exactly the chatty type."

Rick mumbled out an acknowledgement but all other comments died on his lips as he stepped into the room and took in the sight of the woman sitting at the table. Long brown hair, cut jagged at the bottom, pale sunken cheeks.

"Richard Castle meet your new muse, inmate number 40415: Kate Beckett. Good luck."

Beckett's dull grey eyes drifted up to him and Castle barely heard the sound of the heavy metal door reverberating through the otherwise silent room.

Her eyes flickered away, refocusing on the far wall and Castle sucked in a deep breath, his head spinning from lack of oxygen. He had seen the pictures; he had read the file and heard her story. She was not what he had expected from a former Manhattan socialite.

_There's always a story, you just have to find it._ A voice echoed in the back of his mind, that same voice he had been trying to ignore for the past 25 years, the same voice his journalism classes had taught him to ignore. Facts, he was here for the facts, he already knew the story. It wasn't some fantastic tale. It was facts. A man was dead. She did it. He was just here to fill in the blanks.

_Maybe. _The voice taunted. _Just maybe, this time it was different. _

* * *

_Thoughts?  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Unwritten

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your feedback! I really do love hearing what you think.

Disclaimer: If I owned them I would have real creamer for my coffee. The good stuff, you know, with fun flavors. Instead, I have generic brand powdered crap. It's tragic, I'm telling you, tragic.

* * *

Chapter 2

Castle walked slowly towards the table, his pencil, pad and recorder clutched in his sweaty palms.

When had he started to sweat?

He sat down slowly, placing the items gently on the tabletop in front of him. He took his time arranging the objects: flipping his notebook to a fresh page, placing the pencil on top of it. He hadn't been allowed to bring in a pen— too many pieces— he could have hidden something inside of it. His eyes flickered up to her, studying her face as he slid the recorder to the middle of the table and flipped the switch to 'on'. She was still staring past him at the wall, her features unwavering.

He took a moment to study her: the faded dark blue jumpsuit and white undershirt, the black circles under her eyes, the way her hair fell limply over her shoulders. She was pretty, even in prison garb and no makeup. If this had never happened, if she had never been in here, if it weren't for the thin lines around her mouth that told a story about now she never smiled, the sag in her eyes, he could guess that she would have been beautiful, breathtaking even.

He cleared his throat and shook his head to clear his mind. He didn't need to be thinking about that. He just needed to do this interview and get confirmation that he could write this story. Then he would be gone; back home to write this book and moving on with his life. He didn't like spending any more time with these people than he had to.

"Ms. Beckett, my name is Richard Castle. I received an anonymous tip about your story and I am interesting in writing a true crime novel about it."

Castle looked up from his pad to gauge her reaction to his statement and his gut clenched when he realized that she hadn't moved from her previous position. Eyes still locked on the far wall, the sliver of light streaming in from the barred window. When she still failed to acknowledge him he took in a deep breath and continued.

"I would like your permission to pursue this. I was also wondering if you could answer a couple of questions regarding your case?"

Her thumb flickered and he regarded her for a moment. Was that a signal to continue?

"Ms. Beckett I have looked over your case. You were sentenced to 25 years to life in prison ten years ago on February 24, 2002 for the murder of..."

"I know whom I went to prison for killing, Mr. Castle."

Castle looked up started at the sound of her voice— low, slightly menacing. She still hadn't looked away from the window.

"Right, right, of course you do," he amended quickly, the eraser of his number 2 tapping a nervous staccato beat on the notepad.

"What did you want to ask me?" Her gaze drifted over to him slowly and he gulped as her dull eyes traced down the lines of his face and across his chest landed on his fingers, which were still tapping the table. She still hadn't met his eyes.

He took another breath, willing his nervous stomach to settle. Something wasn't right.

"Aren't you surprised to see me here, to have someone asking you about this after all this time?"

She lifted a hand to brush a lock of hair away from her dry, chapped lips. He blanched slightly at the sight of the metal shackles still connected to both of her wrists. He could hear them clanking against the metal ring in the chair, and down to her ankles. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips before they pressed together and her eyes drifted back around the room.

He would take that as a no.

He shifted in his chair, the eraser of his pencil coming to a rest against the pad as he leaned forward slightly. He couldn't help but be intrigued by her: this silent creature of a woman.

"Why aren't you surprised?" He attempted again.

She shrugged her shoulders lazily, her eyes drifting back towards him, but stopping before reaching his, still staring past his ear at the small dirty window. Her finger began to trace an indefinable pattern on the tabletop. "I thought you wanted to ask me questions about the case?"

"I do," Castle stuttered slightly at the change in topic. He cleared his throat again, his hand jittering at his side, clenching and unclenching as he forced himself to not rub his neck. "As I was saying before you were convicted for the first degree murder of Richard Coonan on February 24, 2002. You were twenty-two at the time."

His voice softened slightly as he saw her face twitch into a wince. Was that, remorse? Or was it mourning for the loss of her childhood?

"I'm just trying to make sense of it, Ms. Beckett, for the sake of the story. You grew up privileged- a Manhattanite. Your parents were lawyers, you were enrolled in Stanford and then you suddenly dropped out when you were twenty and moved back to New York City. You took a job as a waitress. Two years later you put a gun to Mr. Coonan's head for no seemingly reason. Why?"

"Do I need a reason? Maybe I just wanted to kill him. Maybe he looked at me wrong. Maybe there is no chain of events that makes this whole situation make sense."

Castle could feel the anger begin to bubble inside him. Was she trying to piss him off? All he wanted was one answer, one that made sense, and he would be out of here, out of her life forever.

"Ms. Beckett," he drew in a calming breath as he placed his palms on the tabletop and stared down at his still empty pad. "If you don't want to answer my questions you just have to say so and I will find a new story to write."

"No you won't."

His head shot up at the comment, but she was still looking past him; her face scrunched up in a squint now as the sun sunk towards the horizon, bright rays bursting through the smudged glass.

"What do you mean? I have plenty of stories to write. I'm not that interested in you, Ms. Beckett."

"Yes you are. I knew you would be."

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes drifted over to find his and he could have sworn he saw a flicker of green in them; a single spark of light in dull grey. Then it was gone.

The door buzzed. He jumped slightly at the nasal sound. She failed to flinch at all, like nothing surprised her anymore.

"Times up," the guard called as she entered the room and ordered Castle to back away from the table.

"What do you mean?" He questioned again, leaning around the guard to see her face, as the shackles were unlatched from the metal ring in the bench.

Her eyes met his again, and this time she held his gaze. The corner of her lips flickered up in what could have been smile. It looked more like a wince. The guard led her by the arm past him. "I mean, who do you think sent you that anonymous tip, _Mister _Castle?"

* * *

Castle sagged against the door as it clicked shut behind him. He was thrown back into the reality of his life by the sound of show tunes bursting from the stereo speakers and the clanking metallic sound of pots in the kitchen.

"Kiddo!" his mother, Martha Rogers, greeted as she rounded the kitchen island, ladle swinging wildly in hand. "You're home! How was the interview?"

Castle brought a hand up to rub his forehead. His thoughts still swam freeform as he pushed himself off of the wall and trudged through the loft to greet his mother with a peck on the cheek. "It was… interesting."

"Oh?" Martha replied, an eyebrow flickering up slightly. "You sound more bewildered than interested."

"She… I…" Castle sunk down into one of the tall bar stools that was positioned around the island and pressed his palm onto the cool granite countertop. "It's not right, Mother. As far as I can tell, this woman should not be there. It doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense and getting her to speak is like pulling teeth. And even better, she's the one that tipped me off to the case. _She_ contacted _me _and then refused to talk to me, just danced around the conversation and threw my questions back in my face. It's like she wanted me to get angry."

Martha sighed as she placed the ladle back into the bubbling pot and unwrapped the apron from her waist. She slipped into the seat next to her son and reached out with one hand to snag her glass of Cabernet, raising it to her lips as she fluttered her other hand around in emphasis. "Have you considered the possibility that she is just insane?"

Rick rubbed the back of his neck. He had considered it, all the way home he had considered it but it still just didn't make sense. "The pieces don't fit."

Martha regarded him with a gentle expression as he pushed himself out of his chair and began to pace the room.

"She had no criminal history, no signs of drug use. Academic honor roll, she got into Stanford for Christ's sake. Her parents loved her. For all accounts she was a good kid. So, what happened?"

Martha lifted the glass of wine to her lips again. "Maybe that's what you need to find out. There's always a reason, son. You just have to find it."

Castle froze in his spot. _Maybe._

He fumbled for the recording, flipping it on with a trembling finger, his heart clenching as the cool voice drifted through the speaker.

_Maybe I just wanted to kill him. Maybe he looked at me wrong. Maybe there is no chain of events that makes this whole situation make sense._

He couldn't help the smile the passed over his lips and the surprised laugh that sounded from his throat.

Maybe. She had been baiting him.

It had worked.

His eyes lifted to meet his mother's as she sat gazing at him with a questioning expression. "I'll tell you this much, Mother. Kate Beckett is not insane and she is far from stupid."

He flipped off the recording just as the buzzer sounded and he heard the echoing clank of chains. Hastily he gathered up his belongings and bolted for his office.

"Where are you going? Dinner is almost ready! Alexis will be home soon," Martha called after him.

* * *

Castle sank down into his desk chair, the painting of an endless staircase swirling behind him as he stared down into the box of photos. He pulled one out gently and pushed himself out of his chair to walk over to the corkboard on the wall.

Nineteen year-old Kate Beckett smiled back up at him as she laced up her white ice skate. This was the last roll of film in the box. As far as he could tell, it was the last set of pictures ever from the Beckett family. Christmas 1998. He pressed the pin into the photo, securing it to the board before reaching into the box for another one. She was smiling back at him again, goofing around as she hung ornaments on the tree.

He tried to swallow the lump that was rising in his throat. He stared at the girl in the picture. He was right; she had been beautiful. Once. He tried to still see it, but the woman he had met to day was a far cry from the one in the picture. It was like she was living a different lifetime.

Three years, something had happened in those three years. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and turned back to sit down at his desk, flipping open the file. He was missing something.

He pushed himself back out of the chair again, file gripped in his hand as he walked over to the white board in the corner.

With a steady hand he pulled the cap off of the black marker and drew a line on the white surface, decorating it with a series of little tic marks.

Winter 1998: Happy

January 9, 1999: Johanna Beckett in car accident.

December 2000: Drops out of Stanford

February 24, 2002: KB kills Coonan.

His eyes drifted back across the timeline. He shook his head. Yes, her mother dying was tragic but not a reason for a seemingly strong independent girl to go spiraling out of control and kill a do-gooder philanthropist businessman.

He had seen the police report; Johanna Beckett had fallen asleep at the wheel while driving back from a meeting upstate. She had hit a patch of ice and spun off the road.

He chewed on his bottom lip as he looked back over the mostly blank board.

_Something just wasn't right._

* * *

Thoughts?_  
_

A/N: I am also co-posting this story at a new Castle fanfiction site: extraordinarylines dot com . Check it out! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Unwritten 

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your awesome feedback and reviews. Us writers by nature, are insecure creatures when it comes to our creations so it is always nice to hear what people think (even if it is constructive criticism). :)

Disclaimer: I finally got myself some awesome flavored coffee creamer. Unfortunately, the rights to Castle did not come with it. Go figure.

* * *

Chapter 3 

It was a week before Castle next made his way out to Bedford Hills. He greeted the guards with a tentative smile, quickly swallowing it when he was met only with stern glares in response. _Too soon?_

He once again, placed his wallet and phone into the bin and pulled off his belt, winding it into a coil before placing it in there as well. He had spent most waking hours of the past week, well waking hours when he wasn't helping his daughter get ready to begin her first year at Columbia, in the office of his small Manhattan apartment staring at the mostly blank white board and the scattered documents spread across his floor.

It just didn't make sense. None of it made sense. He'd read over the police report. There had been a witness and clothing had been found in Kate Beckett's apartment with the victim's blood splattered on them. She had pleaded guilty. There was no doubt in Castle's mind that she was guilty. It was an open and shut case, but that wasn't enough, he needed to know why. Evidence was enough for a police report and for a court of law, but in the eyes of readers they wanted a reason.

_He _wanted a reason because all he could see when he closed his eyes was the picture of a young woman with bright green eyes staring back at him with a huge grin on her face and a Christmas ornament held up next to her ear dangling like an earring while she goofed off for the camera. This was not the face of a hardened criminal, or a sociopath. This was someone who followed in the footsteps of her parents and became a lawyer, not an outlaw.

He was in the room first this time, his pencil doodling small patterns on the pad when she was brought in. The shackles were still in place and she let out a pained grunt as the guard yanked on her arms, securing her to the chair. Beckett's head was down, watching the guard's hands as they locked the chain to the ring in the chair positioned between her thighs.

"I always adore these moments we have together, Doreen." Castle heard her murmur wryly and he bit back a snort of laughter.

The guard, Doreen, let out a huff as she yanked on the chains one last time before turning to march out the door. Beckett winced. She rolled her shoulders, lifting a hand to brush her hair, which had been hanging like a curtain around her face, back behind her shoulders.

Castle sucked in a breath when he saw her face; an angry purple and blue bruise coloring her predominant left cheekbone and encircling her eyes, the red, fat lip, the cuts on her right cheek and along her hairline. "What the hell happened to you?"

Beckett ducked her head and Castle immediately regretted his disparaging tone.

"I, uh, I meant that, that looks bad. Are you okay?" He fumbled through the words, wincing at his own awkwardness. He wasn't usually like this, especially around women. Granted most of the women he saw on a regular basis weren't in jumpsuits and shackles and didn't look like they had just gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson, but still.

"Fine," Beckett groaned out in response, wincing again as she shifted in her chair.

"You going to tell me what happened?" Castle questioned again.

She leveled him with an appraising glare and he pressed his lips together as her eyes studied his face, sizing him up. Debating whether he was worthy of the information.

When she stayed silent he let out a huff. "You contacted me, remember? You wanted to talk to me. What's the point in me being here if you aren't actually going to say anything?"

She quirked a single eyebrow back at him. "One of the women didn't like how I was eyeing her pudding cup last night at dinner."

Her mouth twisted up in a sardonic smile, as if to say _'Are you happy now, asshole?' _and she flinched as the action pulled open the newly formed scab on her swollen lower lip.

Castle sat back in his chair, watching, arms crossed over his chest, while she ducked her head, raising a tentative finger to the reopened wound. She dabbed at it gently with her forefinger before pulling it back to look at the drop of blood smeared on it. She stared at it for a second, a look Castle would almost categorize as wonder spreading across her face, he cocked his head to get a better view of her features and changed his mind. Not wonder, more like mourning. Her fingers closed together, the crimson drop rubbed gently between her thumb and pointer as she pulled her lip in between her teeth and sucked gently. Her eyes wandered the scene carefully, looking for something to wipe her hand on as the pads of her fingers continued to circle against each other.

Castle watched the movement for a moment, entranced by the sudden switch in mood from snarky to forlorn he had just witnessed. Almost mechanically he reached into the pocket of his jacket. Pulling out a single tissue, he held it out to her tentatively, across the table.

Her wandering eyes focused on the thin white piece of cotton and she stared at it for a moment, her body still, rigid, as her eyes slowly swiveled up to meet his. The corner of his mouth flickered up into a small smile and he jerked his hand out a little further, offering the tissue to her once more.

Kate reached out, her fingers pausing, curling in before she finally moved the last few inches. The tips of her fingers grazing his as she gripped the white square, drawing it out of his limp grasp and bringing it to her lip.

Her head ducked again, the curtain of hair falling once more, in front of her battered face and Castle sat frozen as he watched the telltale stiffening and slight quivering of her shoulders.

She sucked in a breath after a moment and the hand holding the tissue dropped to her to lap as she raised her head, her watery eyes meeting his as she whispered out a 'thank you.'

He opened his mouth to respond but all words failed him as he felt his heart stutter in his chest. What horrors had happened to her in there that would make her so overwhelmed at the smallest act of kindness?

Castle cleared his throat, fidgeting in his chair, uncomfortable at the shift in the strain in the air. Before it had been tense, now it was… he couldn't describe what it had turned into but he could still feel the tips of his fingers burning from where hers had brushed them. There was still a tingle of electricity that had shot up his arm.

_What was that?_

"So," Castle started again, his voice a strangled whisper. "Are you going to tell me what really happened?"

Beckett held his gaze, the same look of wonder in her eyes that he felt reverberating through his veins. _She felt it too._ She sighed warily after a moment as she settled back in the chair, her eyes dropping to the tissue she was now picking at in her lap. "My cellmate got in over her head with one of the gangs. A couple of the women jumped her. I tried to break it up and got caught in the middle."

Castle's eyebrows shot up as he jerked forward, his arms landing on the table with a thump. "You got in the middle of a gang fight? Are you crazy? Are they going to come after you?"

The words were off his tongue and through his lips before he could stop them. He couldn't understand it, the sudden want to protect her, to shake her and say she couldn't get herself into situations like that. He didn't even know her.

The buzz in his fingertips told him otherwise.

She quirked an eyebrow at him, a brief flicker of shock crossing her face before she schooled her features, bringing the frayed tissue up to dab at her lip once more. "The crazy part is debatable depending on who you ask, Mr. Castle, but I'll be okay. I might just have to watch what I eat for a few days."

"What do you mean, 'watch what you eat'?" He questioned, forcing himself to settle back in his chair, his body still stiff.

"I mean that they like to put stuff in your food if you piss them off."

Castle stared at her, startled. "But the guards, can't they do something?"

She rolled her eyes in response settling back in her chair to look at him with pursed lips and a single raised eyebrow. He could hear the _'Seriously, Castle?' _without her having to make a sound.

"Right, stupid question, even though you and Doreen did look pretty cozy there for a moment."

She let out a huff that could have been a laugh and lifted a hand to rub at the back of her neck, rolling her head around as she let out a moan. "Not my type, Castle, but thanks for asking."

He felt his lips pull up in a smile and reached across the table to flick on the recorder. "So, why did you contact me?"

Kate's head lolled to the side as she regarded him, her hand still pressed against the side of her neck. "You write the facts."

"You know my work?"

"I do read, Castle," she huffed in response.

"I mean… I didn't mean to insinuate that you didn't."

"You can stop walking on eggshells, you know. You're not going to offend me."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't realize that you would be the reading type."

Kate let out a deprecating laugh. "There's approximately two things to do in here besides watch movies from twenty years ago and terrorize other inmates: read and work out. You should see my abs."

Castle blanched slightly as he shifted in his chair. He was not thinking about her abs. He wasn't. "Right, so, you know my work."

Kate shrugged carelessly. "Like I said, you deal in facts. No over the top tales, no sob stories. You report. That is what I want."

"You want me to tell your story."

"Exactly."

"And what story is that exactly because as of right now none of it makes sense?"

Kate settled back, appraising him for a moment. A ghost of a smile crossed her face. _Was that pride?_

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Go talk to a man named Joe Pulgatti, he's an inmate at Rikers but be careful, don't let anyone know who you are or what you are doing. If you know someone who can get you a fake ID, you might want to take them up on it."

"Fake ID, what? What are you talking about?" Castle asked bewildered, his hackles rising.

"Just go talk to Pulgatti."

"No, I don't want breadcrumbs. I don't want to be yanked around. I just want you to tell me what the hell is going on," Castle hissed, rising slightly out of his chair, hands braced on the table.

He didn't need to be led around like a horse chasing a carrot. He just wanted answers, damn it.

Kate looked around for a moment, eyes darting around the grey surfaces of the room and before he knew it she surged up out of the chair, leaning into him, her breath hot and moist on his cheek as she whispered in his ear.

Her chains clanged against the table and the guard was in the room with a buzz of the alarm an instant later, yelling at her to sit down as they pushed her back down into her seat, unlocking her so they could haul her out of the room by her elbows, one on each side, flanking her.

Castle sank back down into his chair, frozen in his seat as he stared at the vacant space where she had been sitting only moment before. The words whirled through his mind, echoing in his ears, making his vision spin. He could still feel the warmth of her skin as her smooth cheek ghosted against his, rough with stubble.

"_My mother didn't die in a car accident and I didn't kill Dick Coonan." _


	4. Chapter 4

Unwritten 

A/N: I apologize for the delay in posting but sometimes real life gets in the way. Thank you as always for reading and for your kind reviews. It is great to hear what you think. Thank you once again to my awesome betas. You guys rock! :)

Disclaimer: I spent the weekend sleeping on trampoline-like beds and half deflated air mattresses in a sketchy hotel room with six other people. If I owned Castle I would have sprung for suites at the Four Seasons… or at least the Holiday Inn.

* * *

Chapter 4

_She's using you just like the others have tried to use you._

_A sob story; pleading innocence. _

_She's not really innocent. _

Castle stared at the scattered piles of notes strewn about his office floor. He tried to ignore the voice in his head.

_Ten years. _

_Why would she wait ten years if she were really innocent?_

_Why would she wait ten years if she were really guilty?_

Castle sighed. It had been three days since he had been left sitting stunned in the meeting room of Bedford Hills. Three days and he had nothing to show for it except for a hazy, sleep deprived brain, a stronger than usual caffeine dependency and a slightly pissed off daughter.

He took another swig from the glass of scotch that had been resting on the floor next to him.

He glanced at the clock: 9am.

He sighed, scratched at the day old stubble that adorned this face and tipped back the rest of the contents of the glass before pushing himself off the floor to start another pot of coffee.

Castle braced his arms against the counter, stretching his back as he listened to the coffee maker gurgle. The bitter aroma of coffee filled the air as another belch of steam wafted upwards, the lid of the black coffee maker dotted with condensation.

"Dad?"

Castle's head snapped up as his daughter, Alexis, wandered into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes still hazy from sleep. "Hey, Pumpkin."

"Did you sleep at all?" Alexis muttered as she examined his sunken eyes and stubble covered cheeks.

Castle gave a sheepish shrug as he turned to lean back against the counter, his back crackling in protest. The coffee maker gave a final puff of steam. "Not really."

Alexis shook her head, bright red hair falling around her face softly, framing her porcelain skin and making her bright blue eyes seem even brighter. "What is it? Ever since you went to see this woman you've been…gone. What is it about her?"

Castle sighed. He could hear the curiosity mixed with a tinge of resentment in his daughter's voice. It was understandable - after all she was moving into the dorms at Columbia in less than two weeks and he was spending all of his time staring at a half empty whiteboard instead of with her, but he couldn't help it. That one phrase haunted his dreams, echoed in his ears as he wandered down the street.

Why would they fake a car accident? Why would she sit in prison, innocent for ten years, having confessed if she wasn't guilty?

_She's lying. She's playing you for a fool._ The voice echoed again and Castle rubbed a hand down his face as he let out a groan of frustration. His eyes, his palm, his tongue— everything felt like sandpaper.

He pushed off the counter, leaving the coffee to warm on the heating pad, motioning for Alexis to follow him into his small office; a cornered-off section of the living room. "Come on."

The paused in front of the murder board and he motioned to the pictures, telling his daughter the small details he knew about the case.

"So you couldn't find any connection between this Coonan guy and her at all but she just shot him? That doesn't make any sense."

"I agree," Castle sighed. "But she pled guilty and now, ten years later she is pleading innocence, but only to me. She could have pleaded not guilty or fought or something, tried to appeal but there was nothing. She had a fantastic lawyer too, a partner from her mother's old firm…"

"And you said that her mother died in a car accident?"

"That's what the report says but Kate said she didn't. Why would someone fake a police report? _How? _When I asked all she said was to talk to this Joe Pulgatti guy."

"Then I think you need to talk to Pulgatti," Alexis responded, clasping her father on the shoulder with a resigned sigh. "Gram is going to take me shopping today for dorm stuff. Are you going to come?"

Castle tore his eyes away from the whiteboard a second later, as his daughter's quiet question registered in his hazy mind. "Yeah, yeah pumpkin, I'm coming. I can't pass up the opportunity to slip obnoxious items into the cart and humiliate you in public, now can I?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "I'm going to get changed; and Dad, take a shower or else you aren't going anywhere with me."

Castle rubbed his hand down his face again, bringing it around his neck to scrub it through the thick brown hair on the back of his head. His arm lifted as his hand moved up to the top of his head and he caught a whiff of his underarm.

Yeah, he needed a shower.

He trudged out of the office and down the hall to the small Manhattan apartment's single bathroom. Kate Beckett could wait for one day while he spent time with his daughter.

* * *

Kate Beckett stared silently at the grey cement wall of her cell, her knees curled up to her chest as she sat at the head of her bed, her head resting against one of the grey painted cinderblocks. Her stomach growled again and she fought the urge just to go back to sleep. She couldn't sleep. It was too dangerous right now. Her stomach growled again and she rubbed a hand against it, pressing her palm into her flesh, willing it to be quiet.

It had been five days since Castle had last been there and she was starting to worry. She scratched a single finger through her hair. Itching a particularly bothersome spot on her scalp. It had been six days since she had had a full meal. Her stomach growled again and she felt a single hot tear slide down her cheek.

It was becoming too hard. It wasn't worth it anymore. There was no longer a reason to hang on.

Her eyes slid closed as her breath hitched and she allowed another tear to roll down her cheek, dripping off her chin. He had to come back.

* * *

Castle stared at the man sitting across from him. He wasn't shackled like Beckett. There wasn't a guard in the room. Pulgatti glanced around, his manacled hands resting against the table, clasped in front of him.

"So, Mr. Jones, or whatever your real name is, what brings you to see me?" Pulgatti asked, his tone surprisingly upbeat.

Castle raised an eyebrow in response as he placed the recorder on the table, flicking it on. "What makes you think it is not my real name?"

Pulgatti let out a short laugh. "Please. Thomas Jones? Could you think of a more obvious alias? Besides people only come to see me for one of two reason, because they want me to do something or they want me to tell them something. I have been in here for twenty-one years Mr. Jones. I have learned a few things about people and motivations. So, tell me, what do you want?"

Castle shrugged his shoulders as he stared at the man in front of him. He had called his contact in the NYPD before coming here. He knew Pugatti's back-story: part of the Italian mob, arrested for the murder of an undercover FBI agent. He had no clue what he had to do with Johanna Beckett, Kate Beckett or Dick Coonan. "I honestly don't know why I'm here Mr. Pulgatti, so why don't you tell me. Kate Beckett told me to come see you about a murder that took place years ago."

Pulgatti sat back in his seat, his hands coming to rest in his lap as he regarded Castle for a second. "Who are you?"

Castle's eyes darted around to the cameras in the bare room and bounced over to the closed door before coming back to rest on Pulgatti. "My name is Richard Castle, I'm a True Crime writer. I've been… working with Kate Beckett on a story."

Pulgatti eyed him for another moment, his gaze flickering down to the legal pad and the recorder before he gave a short nod. "It's been years since I've heard that name. Little Katie Beckett. At least, that's what her mother called her. Katie."

Castle's head shot up. "You knew Johanna Beckett?"

Pulgatti paused, his jaw clenching together as he momentarily rethought his decision to speak. "Yeah, I knew Johanna Beckett. Shame what happened to her. I only met Katie once but it wasn't a meeting you forget. There was a fire in her eyes. I dream about that look; the flame of furious determination in the darkness. She was an angry girl; desperate and grieving. She looked like she hadn't slept in months."

"When did you see her?"

Pulgatti paused. "Had to be about ten years ago. Winter. December maybe, or January."

Castle nodded. _Right before Dick Coonan died._

"From that fire in her eyes I knew she would make it as a cop. So, did she hire you to write about her mother's murder?"

"Cop? Murder?"

Pulgatti leveled Castle with a glare. "Okay, son. I'm done playing games. Why are you here because it's becoming painfully obvious you don't know Kate Beckett."

Castle gulped as Pulgatti's gaze darkened. His eyes darted over at the door once more. "Kate Beckett isn't a cop, Mr. Pulgatti. She's in prison for the murder of a man named Dick Coonan. She hired me to write her story."

Pulgatti's eyes went wide as he sagged back into the metal chair. "Son of a bitch."

Castle waited as Pulgatti shook his head, processing the information. "What was the name of the arresting officer?"

Castle scrambled to flip over a few sheets of paper on the pad, scanning the pages quickly for the name. "Raglan. John Raglan."

Pulgatti let out a laugh, low and cynical. "Get out now, Mr. Castle."

"What, why?" Castle sat forward in his chair as Pulgatti waved, signaling to the guards that he was ready to go.

"Because Johanna didn't die in a car crash, she was stabbed in an alley and this is so much more complicated than you think. Forget you ever heard the name Kate Beckett. Trust me."

* * *

Castle sagged down into the seat of his car as he stared at the steering wheel. None of it made any sense.

He rubbed his forehead. How could a murder be covered up like that; people had investigated it. There had to be a file. Newspaper articles. Something.

He lifted his phone to his ear wearily, listening as it rang, his head resting back against the worn fabric headrest.

"Yo." The voice on the other line sounded.

"Detective Esposito, it's Richard Castle. Look, I know it's been a while but I was wondering if you could do me a favor. I need a file… "

* * *

"Hey Doreen," Castle pasted on a smile as he greeted the no-nonsense guard through the pane of bulletproof glass, both of his hands hidden behind his back. He had debated for days after his meeting with Pulgatti whether he would go back to see Beckett. It had been Esposito's return phone call, one week after he had asked for the file, that had made the final decision for him. He was tired of getting jerked around. He wanted some straight answers and he was going to get them. "You are looking particularly lovely today. Is that a new shade of Chapstick you're wearing?"

Doreen let out an exasperated humph as she leaned back in the frayed chair and crossed her arms over her chest. Castle gulped and tried again. "And did you do something new to your hair? It is looking extra shiny today."

Doreen rolled her eyes as she patted her head self-consciously. Her salt and pepper hair pulled back in a tight braided bun. "What do you want, Mr. Castle?"

Castle leaned towards the glass as he pulled one hand into view, a large paper bag in his grasp. "What are the chances I would be able to bring this in with me?"

Doreen eyed the sack skeptically. "What is it?"

"What? You can't tell by that heavenly aroma? It is only the best Chinese food in the Tri-State area."

A couple of other guards wandered over and Doreen bit her cheek in consideration. "It's against policy Mr. Castle…"

Castle sighed and ducked his head as he pulled a second bag out from behind his back. "I also brought enough for all of you."

He placed the packages on the counter. "Take what ever you want. Inspect it, taste test, just leave enough for two please."

He watched as one of the younger guards punched in the code for the door and wandered into the 'guest' area, reaching out for one of the bags. Her eyes flickered over to Doreen and the older woman gave a small jerking nod. The guard, Carol, pulled both bags towards her and began to riffle through, pulling out various containers and inspecting their content before shoving a few back into one of the bags and thrusting it against Castle's chest.

He let out a huff at the unexpected force of the impact and nodded in thanks as he dug his phone and wallet out of his pocket and reached down to unbuckle his belt, one-handed. He held the bag closer to his chest as he walked through the metal detector.

Doreen met him on the other side of the door and his lips flickered up in a weak smile as he wandered down the hall after her.

"You like her."

Castle's eyes flickered up in surprise at the matter-of-fact tone in her voice.

"I… I think she's interesting."

"She's dangerous."

"She was a kid who got in over her head," Castle defended. He could feel a flame of irrational anger swelling inside of him.

"Doreen sighed as they reached the room and she turned around to face him, her hand on the door knob. "Maybe, but this place changes people. Be careful Mr. Castle."

She turned the handle in one fluid motion and the door buzzed, high pitched and nasal. Castle flashed her an insecure smile as he walked past her and into the grey room.

Kate was there first this time and her head shot up the minute he entered the room. "Is that Chinese?"

Castle's gaze flickered from her noticeably sunken face to the bag still clutched against his abdomen. He nodded hesitantly.

"Yeah, I figured you might want some food."

Kate reached out with both hands, the hunger flashing uncontrollably in her eyes even as her arms jerked to a halt and the chains clanked against the table.

Her arms withdrew slowly, the sudden jerk of the chains restoring her self control. Castle placed the bag on the table before her, taking a step back and holding up a finger. "One second."

He walked back to the door and rapped on it, his fist connecting solidly with the metal as he awaited a reply.

Doreen opened it with a bored quirk of her eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Could you perhaps unlock her while we eat? Maybe replace the shackles with handcuffs or something?"

Doreen's eyes flickered over to the woman seated at the table, her shackled hands resting in her lap as she her eyes flickered between her hands and the bag mournfully.

"Come on, please," Castle lowered his voice as he took a step towards her. "Look at her. We both know she hasn't eaten in days."

Doreen sighed. "Weeks, Mr. Castle. She's barely eaten in a couple of weeks."

Castle shot her a pleading look and the older woman sighed again. "Fine but you've got to surrender the utensils."

Castle awarded her a grateful smile. "Deal."

Doreen fished the assorted forks and chopsticks out of the bag, pocketing them before leaning over and unlocking the shackles.

Kate looked up in shock as the binding left her wrists; she brought one up to rub the other as she looked between them in surprise.

Doreen turned to Castle with a pointed glare. "If anything happens, you yell."

Castle nodded in reply, resisting the urge to salute. "Yes ma'am."

Doreen leveled him with another look before glancing back at Kate who was once again eyeing the bag hungrily, fingers twitching as she resisted the urge to dive across the table towards the bag taunting her.

"You," Doreen barked, and Kate's eyes shot up to her. "Don't try _anything_."

Kate gave a hasty nod, her eyes flickering over to Castle.

He wandered back over to the table as Doreen grumbled her way out of the room, the door buzzing and slamming behind her. He reached down and pulled out the containers, placing them on the table one by one.

"Sorry, she took the forks."

"It's fine," Kate mumbled as her eyes darted back and forth across the selection. "What is there?"

Castle shrugged as he pulled out the last handful of fortune cookies and placed the bag on the floor. "I don't know. The guards took some. I'm not sure what's left."

She nodded, her hand reaching forward slightly before she pulled it back to curl a lock of hair behind her ear, and sank back in her chair, no longer reaching for the food.

"You can have some, you know. It's okay," Castle prompted gently.

Her eyes darted up to him and she started to shake her head as her stomach let out a turbulent growl.

Castle let out an exasperated sigh as he pushed a random container towards her. "Just eat."

Kate hesitated a moment longer, her fingers curled in before her arm darted out and grabbed the container, cradling it to her chest as she dove into it, greedily shoveling strands of lo mein into her mouth.

After a moment she slammed that container back down on the table and reached for another one, shoving a couple pieces of chicken into her mouth.

"You should probably slow down, wouldn't want to give yourself a stomach ache."

Kate paused, mid chew, quirking an eyebrow at him and Castle winced in response. He remembered saying the same thing to Alexis when she was five.

"Sorry," he mumbled and Kate focused her attention back on the buffet of food, reaching for an eggroll. "When was the last time you ate?"

Kate swallowed the rest of the eggroll before reaching for the tray of dumplings, her eyes never leaving the food as she answered. "The guards would sneak me a protein bar every once in a while but the gangs have a pretty tight grip on the kitchen and silly me, I like my intestines un-shredded. I pissed them off bad this time."

Castle sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest as he watched her devour the food, darting back and forth from box to box. She was talking, that was good. Her words spilling out unguarded.

"So, are you ready to tell me what's really going on? Because all Pulgatti gave me is more questions. I asked a friend in the 12th Precinct to pull your mother's supposed case file and you know what? There was nothing; no file. Nothing to indicate that she was murdered."

Kate froze, her eyes wide as she stared at him, fingers hovering over one of the cartons. "You went to the cops?"

Castle nodded hesitantly. "A friend. I trust him."

"Get out," Kate growled, slamming the box down on the table. She pushed herself out of the chair and ran over to the door, her fist pounding against it as she called for the guards. "I can't believe you went to the cops. Get out. Don't come back."

"Whoa, Kate wait. What's going on?"

"Of course there was no file," Kate seethed as she continued to pound on the door. "Corrupt cops know how to cover their tracks. Cops. Idiot. I _can't _believe you went to the fucking cops."

The door swung open and Kate pushed her way out into the hall, the heavy metal door slamming shut after her, the sound reverberating through the room.

Castle stared at the empty space for a moment before turning and gathering the remaining food from the table.

"Go away my ass," he mumbled as he shoved the containers back into the oversized paper bag and made his way out of the room.

He shoved the bag into a garbage can as he exited the gates back toward the parking lot and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Tossing it into the air a couple of times, letting the weight of it settle in his palm before he slid his finger across the screen, unlocking it.

_Corrupt cops…_

"Esposito. It's Castle again. Yeah, look, I know I already owe you but could you get some more information for me? Yeah, I need to know about a cop named Raglan. No, not over the phone. Can we meet?"

* * *

Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 5

Unwritten

A/N: Once again thank you for all of the amazing support and feedback. You all are seriously amazing. :) Thank you so much to my amazing Betas. xoxo

Disclaimer: *insert laughter here*. Yeah, no.

Chapter 5

The cellblock was eerily quiet in the predawn hours. There was the ticking of a clock from the common room and the occasional door buzz when the guards would rotate posts, but overall it was quiet.

It was quiet enough for her to hear the whispers.

During the ten years Kate Beckett had been in prison she had learned two things. First, keep your head down. Second, trust no one.

She had been hearing the whispers for weeks.

Kate lay still on the mattress, her body sinking into the springs as her hand slid slowly up the thin cotton sheet and disappeared under the pillow. The bed across the cell squeaked as her cellmate, Maria, shifted, and Kate's fingers closed around the smooth cool plastic of the utensil in her hand.

Kate closed her eyes when she heard the pads of Maria's feet hit the concrete floor. The bed creaked again as the other woman pushed off the mattress.

It was not a stretch to say that gangs ruled the prison. It was an unspoken rule. You don't get in the middle of a gang fight. You keep your head down and mind your own business but Kate had felt bad for the girl. Eighteen years old, convicted of killing her boyfriend in a drug-induced rage. Maria had cried that first day in the cell. The second day she had begun going through withdrawal stages. The third she had begged Kate and anyone else who would listen for heroin. The fourth, two women had approached her with a proposal, she joins the gang and they would give her a steady supply. The fifth, Kate had stepped into the hazing process. The sixth, Maria had woken up sober while Kate recovered in the medical ward. The seventh, Maria had floated off in a haze of heroin bliss.

The shiv under Kate's pillow would be considered rudimentary at best: a thin plastic spork that had been filed to a tip using the edge of her metal bed frame. She was curled on her side in the bed facing the cinderblock wall. Her eyes blinked open as her thumb brushed over the sharpened tip, the pointed plastic scraping against her flesh, threatening to break through if she pressed just a millimeter harder.

She had told herself that she could do this; it would be worth it in the end. She just needed to hold on. Twenty-five years. And she had, in the beginning. She had held onto that scrap of her brain that told her that this was her fault; that she shouldn't have pushed. She told herself that she was doing what she had to do. She could do this to protect him. Then when she was out again everything would be okay. She would go back to college, keep her head down. Maybe she would get a job working with delinquent youth.

A tear slid down her cheek as her eyes slid back closed and her hand slipped out from under the pillow her fist empty.

Maria had stopped moving. Kate could feel the other woman hovering over her and she forced herself to stay still as she felt the cool slick metal and the hot, shot of pain as it sliced through her back.

* * *

The beeping of the heart monitor had become monotonous over the hours, the steady, obnoxious noise drifting into oblivion as he had stared at the woman lying in the bed. He wasn't even supposed to be in the room since it was a locked ward but he had charmed the nurse into letting him in. It had been a gift and a curse for him— his way with the ladies. When he was younger it had awarded him with many memorable nights and a precocious daughter. In more recent years it had left him wondering if there was a possibility that he could have something more. Not that he blamed most of them. Who would want to waste their time on a slightly jaded, almost middle-aged single father who might have been someone if he had been able to find inspiration for that first novel that still sat half-finished in the bottom of a cardboard box in the hall closet of his modest New York apartment? It wasn't that he was depressed or even that he had given up. He had a pool of love in his heart for his daughter and he couldn't even begin to imagine what life would have been like without her; without the games of laser tag they played, using the set he had splurged on and bought her for her fifth birthday. He couldn't imagine life without the obnoxious birthday parties that he had thrown her at her favorite restaurants. He would never forget the time when he had spent a hundred dollars winning her the oversized walrus from Coney Island, or the week they spent each summer at a house they rented in the Hamptons. No, Richard Castle still had plenty of love in his heart, he had simply given up on the likelihood that someone would ever again feel that kind of love for him.

Unable to sleep and in the car driving before sunrise, he had arrived at Bedford Hills right after dawn with two trays of coffee in his hands. Ten minutes later he had been running for his car and racing down the highway after the ambulance.

The doctors had said it was a fluke that she was still alive. If the knife had entered her back a centimeter further down it would have punctured her kidney. If he hadn't been there, if the guards hadn't gone to the cell to get her so early before breakfast they would never have found her in time. If she had struggled or fought back she would have bled out faster.

Castle stared at her.

He had met with Detective Javier Esposito and his partner, Detective Kevin Ryan, two days before in a diner across the street from their precinct. They had grilled him for information. Who was he talking to, why did he need this information? But he had refused to answer, giving them only the bare minimum of details with the promise of more. He would need their help in the future.

John Raglan had died six months before from pancreatic cancer leaving Castle with yet another dead end and a still half-blank storyboard.

Kate let out a groan as she shifted in the bed, her free hand flailing up towards her forehead.

"Cas…" she mumbled when her eyes fluttered open and her hazy pupils focused in on him. "Wha- happen-?"

Castle leaned forward in his chair, his back popping in protest as he stretched his too-large frame to rest his elbows on his knees. "You were stabbed in the back. Doctors said you were lucky, if it had been any longer before they found you, you would have died."

Kate let out another moan, shaking her head slightly. "Not lucky…"

Castle leaned back with a sigh as her eyes slipped shut and her body once again went limp in the bed.

* * *

The second time she awoke Castle had gone home to change and eat.

Kate stared at the empty cardboard coffee cup he had left sitting on the rolling table next to her bed.

* * *

The third time the doctor was in the room too, jotting down notes as he glanced over her vitals and unceremoniously pulled up her gown to examine her wound. The man glanced between the two of them before leaving the room without a word.

"I guess that means you are going to live," Castle joked feebly and Kate simply stared at him from her position lying supine in the bed.

"What are you doing here, Castle?"

The broken quality of her voice didn't surprise him as he watched her stare past him to the locked door and the guard standing on the other side of the large window that looked out to the nurse's station. "I came to see you and they found you in your cell. They said that your cellmate stabbed you."

"I told you I had pissed them off."

"I thought she was the one you had saved."

Kate shrugged, wincing as the motion pulled at her stitches. "Once a junkie, always a junkie."

Castle bobbed his head in a single nod of understanding. "You going to tell me why you didn't fight back?"

Kate's eyes didn't waver from the glass in the distance. "I was asleep."

"No you weren't."

Then she did look at him, her eyes questioning.

He held her gaze, locked in a staring contest: a battle of wills. Which of them would blink first.

"No, I wasn't."

Castle sighed as he slouched back in his chair, a palm scraping down his face. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on Kate? Why were you ready to die today?"

"Are you going to tell your cop friend?"

"Probably."

She let out a snort. "Probably."

Castle reached for the pitcher of ice water, pouring some into the white Styrofoam cup before offering it to her. "I trust them. They're good guys, by the book."

She took a sip of water, her silence deafening.

"Do you trust me?"

She took another sip, holding the cup back out to him to place on the table next to the three empty coffee cups littering the surface.

"You must trust me on some level. You've read my books; you know I tell the truth, no matter what it is. You contacted me. So, tell me Kate, do you trust me or should I just go home."

Her eyes drifted over to him, a shadow of moisture glistening back at him. "My dad died."

He stared back at her, shocked. That was not what he had been expecting but he stayed silent, waiting for more. Waiting for the story.

Kate sighed as her head rolled away from him, so that she was staring at the window overlooking the parking lot. Clear blue sky stared back at her.

"We were supposed to meet for dinner, my dad, my mom and I. I was on break from school, home from California for winter break but she never showed up. We just figured she had forgotten. She had a tendency to do that; she would get so caught up in work that sometimes she would just let time slip away from her, but when we got home, Detective Raglan was waiting for us. They had found her dead in an alley; stabbed. They attributed it to random gang violence. I was so angry Castle, so sad, so lost. I tried to go back to school, to finish but I couldn't. I just drifted for months, but it just kept nagging at me, the way they just dismissed it like it was nothing. I came back to New York and went to see Raglan. He brushed me off. That just pissed me off more so I bribed a uniform to get me the case file and I started investigating it on my own. I took a job as a waitress at a diner across from the precinct– Remy's– so I could keep an eye on them. Let them know I wasn't going to go away. I was obsessed. I let it consume me. I barely even noticed that my father had started drinking. I should have stopped. I should have paid more attention to him. I should have helped him but I didn't. I couldn't.

"I found something, Castle. A connection to Pulgatti and something he was involved in years before he even met my mother; a connection back to Raglan. I was stupid and I confronted him with it. I told him I was going to go to his boss, the Police Commissioner, the Mayor, everyone."

She paused, her lips still moving but the words stuck in her throat. Castle reached for the cup of water, handing it to her. She drank from it greedily before handing it back to him.

"What did he do?" Castle asked quietly when she still failed to continue.

Her eyes locked with his again, a sad smile on her lips. "He laughed. He called me a little girl and told me I didn't know who I was messing with. Then he just walked away. The next day he pounded on my door and arrested me for the murder of Dick Coonan. Castle, I'd never even met Dick Coonan. I had no idea who he was."

"What about your mom? Why didn't you fight?"

Kate cleared her throat and shifted in the bed. "I was so happy to see the lawyers from my mom's firm show up. I knew that they would be able to get me off. They were good, the best. Then, I told them what happened and they just stared at me. They told me that I was crazy that my mom had died in a car accident. There had been no stabbing. They showed me the case file, the accident report. They told me to plead insanity, that I had gone into a fugue state out of grief for my mother and killed Coonan. There was evidence: blood on my shirt. The gun with my prints in the apartment, a witness."

Kate paused, letting out a mirthless laugh. "Then I was stupid. I told them I had proof, the case file, and I told them right where it was. The next thing I knew, Raglan came to see me again. I remember it clear as day; that look in his eyes. He held the case file up in front of me and lit it on fire with the yellow Bic lighter he pulled out of his pocket. He knew he had won."

"But how? The lawyers in your mother's firm, they must have known…"

Kate shook her head. "Raglan was right, it goes too high, they are too powerful. I was small, a bug to be squashed, so they got rid of me. And the lawyers? Who knows, maybe they were in on it or maybe they were simply bought."

"But why now? You stayed silent for ten years."

Kate graced him with a sad smile. "They told me they would hurt him, my dad, if I tried anything, said anything, so I stayed silent and pled guilty. I figured I would do the 25 and then everything would be okay. I would get on with my life. I had already lost one parent. I didn't need to lose another one."

Castle looked at her knowingly. "But your dad died…"

Kate nodded. "Two months ago. Liver cancer. He drank himself to death, Castle. If I had been there, if I hadn't been so selfish, I could have helped him and we would have been fine… both of us. So, Castle, this is the perfect time, because don't you see? They know that my father is dead; they have no leverage left to keep me silent. If I am going down, I am going to take them with me. I have nothing left."

Castle stared at the battered and broken woman in the bed, her eyes gazing past him. He could see the core of strength still burning inside her— the blind fury and determination that had kept her alive for the past ten years. He couldn't leave now.

"You still have me."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his.

"You heard me, Lisbeth. If you're crazy enough to do this, I am stupid enough to go with you."

Her surprised look turned questioning. "Who?"

His lips quirked up in a smile as he reached for the cup of water, holding it out to her once more. "You read, figure it out."

* * *

Thoughts?


	6. Chapter 6

Unwritten 

A/N: Thank you as always for all of your kind words and comments. They are always read and appreciated. Thank you, also, to Nicole for beta-ing this chapter for me.

Disclaimer: As of today I am the proud owner of a Master's Degree, unfortunately a Castle did not come with it.

* * *

Chapter 6

Solitary confinement was hell. There was no other way to define it. Kate had thought prison was bad: the constant threats, being held behind bars, being told when to sleep, when to eat, never being alone. But over time she had gotten used to it. Now it was routine. She awoke in the morning, did daily workout of sit ups, push-ups and yoga. She ate breakfast. Then came whatever work they were assigned for the week. Sometimes it was laundry; sometimes she ended up making various odds and ends in the workshop. Next was lunch followed by free time. Normally she read. Occasionally she would watch a movie or go out into the yard. Though, trouble happened in the yard. When she was younger she had made some friends and they would play basketball a few hours a week. Then was dinner. After dinner Kate took classes. Ten years into her prison sentence Kate was almost finished with her law degree.

Any sense of modesty she once had had been stripped away. She hadn't showered, gone to the bathroom or changed her clothes alone in ten years. Tampons were like currency and if she wanted to shave she had to have a guard escort her in case she was tempted to slit her own wrists or someone else's with the cheap, two blade razor. She had given up that battle, it wasn't like anyone would be close to her legs or underarms anyway.

She had gotten used to the constant companionship: the presence of others. So, now, being alone for 23 hours a day was unbearably worse. It was the prison's proverbial gilded cage: the solitude to keep her safe, safe from the outside world but not from her own inner demons.

She drummed her fingers on the hard plastic mattress as she sat curled in the corner where the bed met the wall. Her teeth chewed on her lower lip relentlessly. It had been a month of silence, of darkness. She let out a giggle, twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

No. No! She wasn't going to let herself do this. She had fought too long, too hard to succumb to it now, the pain and endless torment from outside and from within. She could only ask herself "what if?" so many times before it became too much, before it overwhelmed her. She pushed herself off the mattress and fell to a crouch on the floor, twisting her hair up into a sloppy bun as she kneeled. Like she had told Castle months before, there were two things to do in prison: read or work out. She had been reading for the past month while she had healed. Now it was time to get back into shape.

She collapsed onto the ground after her first set of fifty push-ups, gasping for breath, free strands of hair plastered to her forehead and neck. Her muscles burned and she rested her cheek against the cool cement floor, her eyes drifting to the stacks of books under her bed. Textbooks, novels, biographies, true crime, science fiction, mysteries. She had read it all. She had absorbed the information, clinging to it like a lifeline. A constant reminder of all she had missed, all she had denied herself in her quest for justice. No, vengeance. Kate Beckett had sought vengeance.

Her eyes drifted to one thick book, noire fiction, the cover painted in orange and green, a dragon swirling across the page. Her lips drifted up into a smile as her fist curled under her chin. She had spent her free hour on each of the first three days of her segregation in the library. It was worth the pain of inhaling the food into her still weak stomach. She had scoured the shelves looking for the correct work, scanning the backs quickly, sitting between the stacks cross-legged, her limp hair tumbling down her back. They had been down in the corner, the mystery section, stories of violence and intrigue that most of the women ignored in the library in favor of romance novels— bodice rippers— but not Kate. The name on the back caught her attention— the story of Lisbeth Salander, a borderline sociopathic misanthrope hacker vigilante who had been deemed dangerous by society and the reporter who had enlisted her help and become enamored by her. She had fallen into that first book, reading it greedily in one day before diving back in for the other two. She had read them aloud just to hear a sound in the tiny room, to feel like she wasn't alone.

Her hand reached out to run down the book's spine and her mind drifted back to Castle, sitting sunken back into the chair at her bedside as she lay drugged, her soul bare in the hospital bed. She had told him everything. He had stayed as long as he could, just silently perched at her side, watching over her as she slept. When she awoke she watched him sleep also. He had stayed until the guards had kicked him out and she had been dragged back to the grey halls. He hadn't been back to see her since.

"Hey!" Kate startled as a fist pounded on the door, the thunderous sound reverberating through the quiet space. "Writer boy is going to be here tomorrow."

Kate fell silent as she continued to lay prone on the floor, legs outstretched, fists curled by her chest. She stared at the book as her lunch was slid through the slot in the door. Her bare toes scratched against the smooth concrete floor. She picked at the cuticle of her right thumb. The sweat had dried onto her body, leaving her feeling foreign in her own body: sticky and itchy. She scratched at the stretch of skin on her lower back between her shirt and pants.

Slowly she pushed herself up off the floor and took a step towards the door, pausing to push the tray out of the way with her toe.

Her fist hesitated before connecting solidly with the metal door, yelling for the guard. She could hear Doreen's bored response from the other side. She could hear the change in inflection as the other woman's interest was piqued at her request for an escort to the shower.

Kate bent down to scratch at an imaginary itch on her ankle. After all, a woman could shave her legs just to feel better about herself, right?

* * *

"There is nothing here," Castle growled as he scrubbed a hand down his face. The circles under his eyes had darkened over the past few weeks. Alexis was giving him that look again. He had helped his daughter move into her dorm room two weeks before but she still came over a couple of times a week for dinner and, as Castle liked to tease her, to do her laundry.

"I don't know what to tell you, bro. If there is a conspiracy they've done a great job of covering it."

Castle shot Esposito a look. "What do you mean _if_ there is a conspiracy? There is one. I told you what Kate told me. She was framed."

"And the file just disappeared? People conveniently 'forgot' that a woman was murdered? Really, bro? Don't you think that there is at least a possibility that she is yanking you around in the hopes of getting out of prison?"

"Of course she is trying to get out of prison, because she wasn't supposed to be there in the first place." Castle pushed himself out of his chair, sending it skidding backwards in his frustration. "Is there nothing else we can do? Back up files someplace? What about Raglan's partner at the time, he had to have a partner, right?"

Esposito shot his partner, Detective Kevin Ryan, a look as Ryan leaned back in his chair, dropping the file folder he had been hiding behind in his lap.

"Look, man. I owed you a favor. I paid in full by looking into this for you. We can look into Raglan's partner for you but that's it. After that we're done."

Castle deflated as he leaned back against the window of the precinct conference room, sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time that hour. "Look, I know you guys are busy and you don't believe me but please, just come talk to her. After that if you don't think there is anything to come of it I won't ask for anything more from you."

He watched the exchange of glances, Esposito's skeptical one versus Ryan's volleying one of consideration. Both men turned to look back at him, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

"What if she's actually innocent?"

* * *

Kate ran her fingers through her hair one last time as Margaret guided her down the hall by the elbow. Her hair was down today, and she brushed through it awkwardly, her hands still bound by the cuffs. They had stopped using the shackles finally, perhaps a reward for good behavior.

Margaret yanked on her elbow, causing her fingers to snag in a knot. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, girlie. Not that you have a shot, but I have to admit, it is amusing to watch you doll yourself up for his man."

Kate let out a snort. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, please, Doreen told me about how she had to sit in the bathroom with you last night because you were using a razor. I can see you trying to make your hair look nice. Next thing you know you will be bartering for a haircut and trading cigarettes for nail polish. So don't play dumb with me."

"Yeah, well, you have to admit he's nice to look at."

"Mmhmm, just watch yourself, Beckett. Don't go fooling yourself into thinking you actually have a shot. He doesn't really give a fuck about you. The minute this book idea is done he will be gone and you will still be here."

Kate hung her head as she stumbled the last couple of steps into the meeting room, her cheeks burning in embarrassment behind a curtain of hair. The light brown locks reached her waist now, jagged at the bottom from where she had managed to cut it on her own a couple of times.

She could feel his presence in the room. He pushed himself out if his chair in formality as she entered. Of course, it was formality; it was always just formality. After all, when this was over he would be gone with his new book and she would, what? Still be in prison, be free? Where would she go?

"Hey."

She shuffled over to the table, head still bent, ignoring his greeting.

"Kate?"

She let out a sigh, closing her eyes tightly.

Margaret was right he was just being nice.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," she mumbled in response and had to bite back a laugh at his relieved sigh.

"I brought you something."

He sighed again, a little more irritated when she still didn't look at him.

A paper coffee cup slid into her line of vision.

"It's just plain. I wasn't sure what to get you but I figured it was better than whatever they give you in here."

Her joined hands reached out hesitantly, as if of their own volition, a finger grazing the side of the cup before she wrapped her palms around it. Her eyes slid closed, reveling in the feeling of the warmth. She could feel her resolve melting. Why did he have to be so nice, and beautiful and smell so good? Even though she could see a glimpse of a wounded soul he was still so full of life, so curious.

"I've been in solitary," she murmured finally. Her fingers fidgeted on the tabletop, the tips tapping against the cardboard ring around the cup. She wanted to laugh in relief at the sound of his voice.

"I know," he whispered back in kind.

She could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him anymore, damn it. She didn't want to feel that intense feeling of calm that washed over her whenever he was around. She just wanted to…

"I can't do it anymore, Castle." The words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could sensor them, her eyes coming up to meet his. "I have to get out. Please. It's so quiet. Some days I think I'm going insane."

A throat cleared in the corner and Kate whipped around, eyes wide. "What the fuck are they doing here?"

Castle held out a hand in front of himself; his palm up in surrender. "I asked them to come, to talk to you."

"No, no," Kate shook her head as she pushed herself out of her chair and backed towards the wall, eyes darting around. Her stance one of a caged animal. "I told you, I don't talk to cops."

Castle took a step towards her. "You also said you wanted to take down the guys who did this, who killed your mom and threw you in jail. Or were you just making up stories?"

"You know I didn't make that up," she growled in response.

"Then prove it. Talk to them. Tell them everything you know."

Kate eyed Esposito and Ryan suspiciously as they continued to stand across the room, arms crossed over their chests. "You trust them?"

"They have my back and I have theirs. We helped each other out do a bind a few years ago."

Kate jerked out a hesitant nod, her weary eyes never leaving the detectives. "Fine."

She moved slowly back to the table, sliding back into her seat as the detectives rounded the other side, sliding into Castle's abandoned seat at another metal chair. Kate sucked in a breath as she felt him slide into the seat beside her, his fingers wrapping around hers. The rush of calm blanketed her again and she let out a sigh. It wasn't a new gesture. She had awoken a few times during her stay in the hospital to his fingers gripping hers. He would always whisper that she had been having a nightmare and had been yanking on the cuff binding her to the bed. She had the angry red welts on her wrist to prove it. What he never said was that she would calm the moment he touched her, even if it was just the brush of his fingers down her thumb.

Her eyes rose to catch Detective Esposito's smirk and she yanked her hand away, curling it protectively around the still warm cup of coffee, her head dipping. She regretted the action the moment she did it. His body shifted away from hers, noticeably even if it were only millimeters.

Detective Ryan glanced between the trio, shifting uncomfortably in his chair as he watched them. "So, I'm Detective Ryan, this is my partner Detective Esposito. We looked into what you said about your mom and about your case and honestly there is no evidence to support it. Is there anything else you can tell us that could help?"

Kate sighed as she turned to look at the bleak grey wall. _Help us help you._ She had heard that before. That's what the lawyers had said before she had told them about the file. She shook her head. _You've got nothing left to lose, Katie. If nothing else, at least go down fighting._

The voice in her head sounded suspiciously like her mother.

"Did you talk to the investigating officer upstate? The one with the car accident file?"

All three startled at how fast she whipped around to face them, the clarity of the words coming from her mouth, the flash of fire in her eyes.

"He must have a file right, and if he wrote it then someone had to pay him to do it. You get him to talk and then you can have enough evidence to get a warrant to exhume my mother's body. You need my permission to dig her up? Well, you have it."

Esposito blinked at her. Nodding slowly. "You've thought this through."

Kate met his eyes, searching them for a hidden agenda. Finding none, she continued quietly. "One way or another, I am going down. The moment they figure out that I am poking around in this again they are going to figure out a way to take me down, solitary confinement or no. The least I can do is try to take them down with me."

She jerked her head to the side. "But protect him, okay? So far he hasn't listened to anything I've said about how dangerous this is. Keep your heads down, tell as few people as possible and get the story out as quickly and as loudly as you can."

Esposito sat staring at her for a long moment, this enigma of a woman, so broken and yet so strong sitting in front of him in a plain white shirt and dark blue prison issue pants. "You would have made a good cop."

"Yeah, I know," she bit the inside of her lip as she stared down at the thin plastic lid of the cup still cradled in her palms. "I got into the academy, you know. I would have started April of 2002. I set up an agreement to finish my degree in criminal justice at the same time. I figured that I had put the pieces together on Raglan so I could do the same to help others. I could give them the justice my mother had been denied but I was too late."

Esposito nodded, his eyes watching the cup as her fingers spun it in a slow circle on the table. "I started April 2002. We would have been classmates."

Kate's eyes drifted up to meet his, this man who could have been her friend in another life, once more, the truth spilling out of them. All barriers dropped in that moment. "I never killed anyone, you have to believe me."

"I do." Returned a strangled whisper. "And we're not going to let anything happen to you."

Kate's eyes drifted closed as she let out a sob of relief and finally lifted the cup to her lips to take a sip, letting the warmth wash over her. This time, she actually allowed herself to believe that it could be possible. Maybe she would be able to see the light again.

* * *

Thoughts?


	7. Chapter 7

Unwritten

A/N: I apologize for the delay between updates but I was on vacation (not going to apologize for the vacation though) ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle but I am in search for employment if AWM would like to donate the program to me I would be ever so grateful.

P.S.- I flew beta-free on this one so any mistakes are mine.

* * *

Chapter 7

Sergeant Edward Pizalli was a barrel of a man. His broad chest puffed out as he stood with his arms crossed over his round beer belly; his thinning black hair covering less skin than his bushy mustache. He had a bandana clenched in his fist, which he used to dab at the line of perspiration that kept appearing above his brow line. So far, none of the boys were impressed.

Castle glanced between Ryan and Esposito as the two detectives listened to the older cop's answers.

Pizalli didn't know what they were talking about. He never took a bribe from anyone. He had been on the force for 30 years, how dare they come in and accuse him of such a thing.

Neither of them was impressed by the bravado, the row of accommodations on the shelf behind Pizalli's desk.

Ryan deflated in his chair, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, when Pizalli went to the records room to find Johanna Beckett's file. "He's lying."

Esposito from his spot in the other chair. "Yeah, no one filibusters that much without hiding something."

Ryan held up his fist. "Props for use of 'filibuster'."

Espo bumped his partner's knuckles with his own. "What can I say, that word of the day calendar Jenny gave me for Christmas really comes in handy. It's amusing and educational. Never let that girl go, bro. I mean it. You do and I might steal her from you."

Ryan let out a snort. "Like Lanie would let that happen."

It was Esposito's turn to sound out in disbelief, his coming out as more of a squeak than a snort. "Lanie? I don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Like I don't know what's going on between the two of you. You have been making goo goo eyes at each other for years. You mean to tell me that you aren't sleeping together?"

"I..."

"Uh huh. That's what I thought. Look me in the eyes *bro* and tell me it isn't true."

Castle watched, his eyes wide as the boys bantered back and forth, his level of disbelief rising with every passing second. Pizalli was going to be back any second, they had no clue how to break him and these two were chattering on like teenaged girls.

"Excuse me!" He piped up from his spot perched in the corner. "I don't mean to interrupt the slumber party gossip but what are we going to do about Pizalli?"

Both heads, one fair one dark, swiveled toward him.

Esposito's lips quirked into a smile before answering. "Don't worry bro. We got this. We'll get your girlfriend out of prison."

Castle huffed. "She's not my girlfriend."

"You just keep telling yourself that," Esposito volleyed, settling back in his chair to face Pizalli's desk and wait, a smirk firmly in place on his lips.

"Just like you keep telling yourself that this Lanie isn't yours?"

Esposito whipped around to face him, sucking in a breath to voice his retort when Pizalli came waltzing back into the office.

"Johanna Beckett." The three men tensed in their seats as Pizzali slapped the file down onto the desk with a little more force than necessary. "Died on January 9, 1999 when she hit a patch of ice and spun off the road. It was deemed an accident. It was late, chances are she fell asleep at the wheel."

The older cop crossed his arms over his barrel chest once more as he towered over the trio.

It was Ryan's turn to speak up. "We aren't questioning what the file says. We all know the story. We are questioning why it says it. Evidence has surfaced that Johanna Beckett was murdered in New York City on January 9 and that this car accident was fabricated to cover it up. The only thing is that if it was made up then someone had to write it and that someone would be you."

Ryan was standing now, his thin frame leaning over the desk, his arms braced on the surface. Castle watched wide-eyed. It was the first time he had seen the young, good-natured Irishman looked every ounce the hard-nosed detective he claimed to be.

"So, the question becomes," Ryan continued. "When the story breaks and the truth comes out are you going to be one of the heroes who helped expose it or are you going to be one of the criminals going to jail for covering it up?"

Pizalli was glancing between them nervously now, the bandana patting at his forehead once more.

"Because this story will break Pizalli and you are what, 5 years from retirement? Would you rather be spending those halcyon years with your wife or behind bars? You do remember what they do to cops in jail, don't you Pizalli?"

Pizalli gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. His hand clenched tighter around the sweat-stained strip of fabric. "You boys don't understand the wealth of trouble you are getting yourselves into, do you?"

He glanced between the three of them, his eyes narrowing to slips, a smirk growing on his face. "Have they started yet? The phone calls, the shadows on the street? Have your homes been bugged? Because it will come and you should be afraid."

The trio left the office a little more deflated, none admitting that Pizalli's words had affected him, left them wondering if the scenarios were true. Castle had the sinking suspicion that they were and all he could think about was his daughter, his mother and the woman in a 'protective' custody.

He pulled out his phone and dialed.

* * *

"Hey." His greeting was soft, warm, when she slid into the seat across from him. "How are you?"

She shrugged, the top of her blue jump suit unbuttoned so that he could see the white undershirt peaking through. She wasn't feeling very talkative.

"Are you still in solitary?" He tried again, pushing the coffee cup he had set on the table another inch towards her with his index finger.

She nodded. Another week alone. She had started to count the tiny holes and cracks in the ceiling.

"How have the guards been treating you?"

Her eyes fluttered closed as she sucked in a breath. She could see where this was going. She didn't need his pity, his banal small talk. "What do you want, Castle?"

His eyes flickered up at her, caught off guard by the defeated nature of her voice. "I wanted to come see how you were doing. Give you someone to talk to."

She let out a mirthless laugh. "I don't need your pity, Castle. You can go home."

He let out a sigh. "It's not pity. I wanted to make sure you were alright, maybe talk about something other than the case."

"Why? It's not like you care anyway. Once the book is done you'll be gone so you don't have to pretend like you care. I get it. Really."

It was better that way. Keep her distance. She had been letting her guard down, letting him in. She was going to get hurt. She didn't need him, something more that could be taken away. She had survived this long alone.

The bitterness in her voice cut deep as she stared past him to the same small yellow tinged window she had been so fond of during their fist encounter. She didn't need this. Not today. She needed to be left alone in her dank dungeon of a cell.

Castle let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "Fine. I'll go but here. There weren't many items on the approved list of things I could bring you and, of course, I couldn't wrap it but I got you this anyway. Happy birthday."

He tossed the item onto the table in front of her and was out of his chair and striding towards the door the next second. The door buzzed and her eyes never left the table as he disappeared into the grey hallway, the door banging shut behind him.

Her hand reached out timidly after a long second and her fingers traced over the fluffy surface of the crocheted blanket. There was a card slipped inside. No envelope. A monkey was making some stupid comment on the front cover. She ignored it, flipping it open instead, her eyes flickering to the window and door before focusing back in on the page. "I know it's not much but I thought you might need something to keep you warm in there. Hang on. Next year we'll celebrate properly. Dinner, drinks, a party whatever you like when you are back out in the real word- where you belong."

Her eyes slid closed and a single tear slipped down her cheek as she slouched back in the chair. 'We'. He had said we.

The door slid open again and she gathered up the blanket and card in her arms, clutching them to her chest as she gripped the, previously, untouched cup of coffee in her hand. The guard led her down the hall to her cell, eyeing the new possessions but not commenting. She walked inside and the door closed once again behind her. Curling up in the bed she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and brought the cooling drink to her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut as the taste of vanilla and cinnamon washed over her tongue.

Why did he have to be so nice? It would be so much easier to keep her distance, keep those growing feeling at bay if he were an ass. But they weren't growing feelings; they were a means to an end. That was all.

Kate sighed. Her eyes fluttered shut. Knees drawn up to her chest, the fluffy royal purple blanket wrapped tightly around her dwindling frame.

Now, if only she could bring herself to believe it.

* * *

"Hey Dad!"

Castle couldn't help but smile at his daughter's cheerful greeting as he leaned back in his comfortable leather office chair. "Hey sweetie. How's school?"

He stared at the white board as he listened to Alexis let out a pained grown.

"Midterms were a nightmare. I swear, sometimes I think they want us to fail, like it is some sort of game to them- survival of the fittest."

"Very 'The Hunger Games goes to college'. Better figure out a way to work the system, honey. I don't know if all that studying and playing by the rules will help you this time."

"Dad," Alexis whined and Castle couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past his lips.

"How about this, come by tonight and we can drown our sorrows in giant bowls of ice cream?"

There was a pause of consideration on the other end of the phone.

"How many flavors?" The younger Castle questioned after a moment.

"How many midterms?" Castle volleyed in return.

"Five."

"Then five flavors it is."

"See you at eight Dad. I gotta run- meeting for that service org I signed up for."

Castle could hear the honk of a horn and the sound of insistent chatter from the other end of the line. He shook his head as he pictured his daughter running through rush hour traffic to make the meeting on time. Alexis, his daughter: the responsible one. How had that happened?

He sighed, pride swelling through his heart. The one thing he had managed to do right, and he couldn't even fathom how.

"Have fun saving the world, pumpkin, but remember crosswalks are there for a reason!"

Castle heard a distant 'I love you' through Alexis's laughter as the cheerful sound rang in his ear.

The line went silent and he dropped his hand, phone still clenched in his fist to his lap. He turned his attention to the white board, now half full. Pizalli had been no help other than to confirm their own suspicions. There was a deeper story- Kate was right. Now, they just had to prove it.

The phone rang again and Castle chuckled, lifting the device to his ear with out looking at the screen.

"You bailing on your old man already, kiddo?"

"Castle?" A whisper.

Rick shot straight up in his chair, his shirt bunching in his haste. "Kate? Um, hi."

"Hi."

"What's wrong?" His eyes darted around the room as he searched for a reason, a weapon, a drink, anything. The newest bottle of scotch sat unopened on a shelf next to glasses untouched, as it had for the last month.

"Nothing." The word was stuttered, barely louder than her greeting. She let out a deep held breath and her voice got stronger. "Nothing is wrong."

He searched his mind for another instance of her calling him but his mind came up blank. He was always the one to contact her through the warden to schedule a visit. They had never spoken on the phone. Her breathing was heavy through the line and he could imagine her gripping the mouthpiece with both hands, a lifeline to the outside world. How many times had she spoken on the phone in the last ten years? Had she had Sunday conversations with her father? Had they been too painful for her to handle? Did she have any other family, friends she had spoken to?

"Okay, Miss Beckett, then to what do I owe this pleasure? Would you like to ignore me again? Maybe another riddle of a clue to this case is on the agenda?"

He hadn't meant to say it, to allow the bitterness to edge into his voice but he had and it did. He closed his eyes as soon as the words crossed his lips.

The breathing stopped.

"I, um, I deserve that."

The devil inside his head agreed while the little defiant angel berated him, scolding him to give the woman a break.

"I just wanted to call... I don't have long... but..."

Her voice trailed off and Castle opened his eyes, finding himself staring at the picture of her taped to the board in front of him. The smiling face of a girl, barely an adult staring back at him, eyes glittering. He turned away. That girl was gone. She had been killed in prison, in her place stood a broken woman who was robbed of her chance to be more.

He heard a guard bellow through the phone. Times up.

She let out a heavy breath.

"Purple is my favorite color."

Silence buzzed through the line.

He held the phone out in front of him, staring at the screen in front of him. His lips twitched up in a quirk of a smile. That was probably as close to an apology he would ever get from Kate Beckett. He felt like he should be grateful to be bestowed such an honor.

He tapped the edge of the phone against his lips, eyes drifting back over to the photo. The girl, the woman, smiling back at him. Fractured, not broken.

At least not yet. There was still a chance for her to heal.

* * *

A/N: Thoughts?


	8. Chapter 8

Unwritten

A/N: Thank you to Nicole for beta-ing this chapter and giving me a preemptive flail. Always good for the ego. Thank you to everyone for your kind reviews (and post chapter flails) also always nice to see what you think. ;)

Disclaimer: Wait, let me check... nope, still don't own them.

* * *

Chapter 8

"Pizalli's dead."

Castle shot up in bed as Esposito's voice filtered through the phone into his sleep-logged brain.

"What?"

The detective let out an impatient sigh. "You heard me."

"When?"

"M.E. puts time of death around one am. I just left the scene. Got the call about an hour ago."

Castle's vision focused on the bright red numbers of the digital alarm clock on his nightstand. Four AM.

Wait... "Why did you get called to the scene? Pizalli lived outside the city, it wouldn't be your jurisdiction."

Another sigh. "That would be the kicker, Ricky boy. Pizalli was left as a present in an alley outside the 12th."

Castle let out a strangled cough. "They dumped him outside a police precinct? Either these guys are really brave or really dumb."

"Well I wouldn't put my money on the second one. They've managed to stay hidden for this long. Now, they are tying up loose ends."

"Except for from Kate," Castle mused, not even realizing he had said it aloud until he heard Esposito chuckle in reply.

"That's right, bro. Go ahead; be proud. Your girl figured it out."

"She's not _my_girl," Castle replied, wincing when it sounded more like a whine than the bold statement he had intended.

The line went dead and Castle sighed as he rolled out of bed and padded towards the bathroom. He wasn't going to be able to sleep anymore. He flipped on the shower, twisting the knob to just below scalding. He ran a hand through his bed-tousled hair and spared a glance in the mirror. He was looking every one of his forty-two years and he sighed. Pizalli was dead, any concrete evidence lay buried with Johanna Beckett and Kate was withering away in solitary confinement. He had all but failed and now he had to tell her.

* * *

"Hey, Castle."

Her lips fcurved up into a soft smile, her hair pulled back in a braid— no hair tie at the end. They weren't allowed. He blanched when he saw her and looked down at the table, studying his blunt fingernails resting on top of the cold metal surface. He hadn't brought coffee today. He had been in too much of a rush to get to the prison. Now, he wished he had taken those few more minutes to stop. Then, at least he would have something to do with his hands other than to stare at them.

"Castle?"

He couldn't look up. He could feel her peering over at him, her head bent so that it was close to the table top, attempting to look up at his face. His fist clenched on the cold metal.

"Castle? What's wrong?"

"Pizalli is dead," his voice was raw as he forced it past his lips with his cotton tongue.

The silence in the room was deafening as both of them forgot to breathe, the ticking of the clock on the only sound cutting through the thick air.

Kate let out a breath, the air blowing slowly through her parted lips, less chapped than they had been a week before.

"Christmas is coming up soon, you have any plans?"

Castle's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Do you have plans?" She drew the words out slowly, as if talking to a child, or a slow monkey.

"I just told you that Pizalli's dead. The one possible chance that we had of getting a confession that would allow us to exhume your mother's body and prove that she was murdered is dead and you're asking me about my holiday plans?"

"Yes."

Castle sank back into his chair, legs splayed at he looked at her. She was mirroring his posture, sagging back into her own chair, one hand gripping her other elbow, braid falling over her shoulder. The circles under her eyes were lighter, her cheekbones slightly less pronounced. She looked… better, healthier.

"You're sleeping better."

She nodded in reply, her head ducking. "The cell is cold and I'm warmer now."

Understanding dawned in him. She was sleeping with the blanket at night and it was keeping her warm. He allowed a small grin to play over his lips, managing to keep the face-cracking smile he wanted to slip from forming.

"Good. Good, I'm glad that…" he paused. _That what? That he was helping her sleep at night? That she liked his present? " _That you're sleeping better."

"Yeah. I'm sleeping better."

"I'm probably going to go ice skating with my daughter… for Christmas. We've done it every year since she was five." His voice was still low, cautious.

Kate smiled, small, soft. The white of her teeth shining through as she ducked her head, rolling her eyes up to peer at him. "You have a daughter."

"Yeah. Yeah, I have a daughter." Castle stopped to clear his throat, straightening up in his chair to lean his elbows on the table. "She's eighteen, just started college."

"Good. It's good that she's in school." Kate nodded as her eyes darted around the cell. The tension between them was palpable.

"Yeah, not that it was ever really an option. She's had her life plan made since she was five and it always included an Ivy League school. I swear, sometimes I don't understand where that girl gets her drive. Between her mother and me it's a miracle…"

His voice drifted off when he realized that he had been rambling. He looked up again to find her staring at him, their eyes locking.

The clock ticked in the background, unacknowledged seconds passing.

Kate leaned forward in her chair, once again mirroring his posture, her gaze never leaving his. "I know. You don't give up, you don't back down. That's where she gets it from."

Castle could feel his pulse pounding in his neck, the blood rushing through his veins, making him lightheaded as her eyes flashed green.

"We're going to figure something out. Even though Pizalli is dead. We'll figure out a way to prove it all, to get you out of here."

"I know." Her hand flailed slightly, her fingers curling in as she resisted the urge to reach out and cup his cheek in her palm. "You owe me a birthday dinner."

* * *

"What've we got, Lanie?"

Medical Examiner Lanie Parish's head rose as Esposito and Ryan pushed through the door to the morgue.

"Edward Pizalli was shot once to the back of the head, execution style. If I had to guess by the angle, I would say that he was on his knees when it happened," Lanie rattled off as she turned the victim's head to the side so the detectives could get a better look.

Both men grimaced as the head rolled back around and they caught sight of what was left of Pizalli's face, most of it a gaping hole caused by the exit wound.

"Any idea why he was dumped here?"

The men shared a look as Lanie crossed her arms over her chest, gloved fingers tapping against her bicep.

"Boys…"

Esposito sighed. "It _may_ have to do with a cold case we've been looking into."

Lanie's eyebrow rose as she took a step around the metal examination table, and both detectives took a step back in kind. "_May_ have to do with a cold case? Javier Esposito if you don't tell me what's going on this instant you will be sleeping in a cold bed for the rest of the week, at least."

The detectives shared another look, Ryan giving his partner a helpless shrug. His hand gestured slightly to the M.E. in silent conversation as if to say 'what could it hurt?'

Esposito let out a sigh, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "We've been looking into a case for Rick Castle."

"Rick Castle? The writer Rick Castle? The one you almost got suspended for helping the last time you worked with him, Rick Castle? Oh no, Javier, you are not doing this again."

"Listen, Lanie, just listen. It's legit this time. A woman in prison got in touch with him, she was framed and thrown in jail to keep her silent."

"Javi…" Lanie shook her head in disbelief.

"Lanie, I believe her. _We_ believe her," Esposito emphasized, gesturing to his partner. "There are things about the case that just don't make sense. All the evidence was circumstantial, there was no connection between her and the vic."

Lanie let out a sigh, her hand rubbing down the front of her blue scrub pants. "What does any of this have to do with Pizalli?"

"We think Pizalli was part of the cover up. Then, a couple of days after we go talk to him he shows up dead outside of _our _precinct. That can't be a coincidence."

"Have you told Montgomery yet?"

"No, we've been keeping it quiet, the less people who know, the better."

"Well, if what you say is true and Pizalli was killed to keep him quiet then you all are in danger too. What about Castle and this woman in prison, do they have protection?"

"Kate. Yeah, she's in solitary already and no, Castle doesn't have anything."

Lanie let out another sigh. "Well, I think you need to talk to Montgomery, see what he can do and for the love of God, be careful you two. I fear the day I see someone I know on one of these slabs."

* * *

Castle stared at the yellow door of the storage locker, Kate's voice, soft and deep still ringing in his ears. She had been smiling as she told him the story.

"_I had my wild child phase when I was a teenager, you know crazy boyfriends, tattoo. I even bought a bike."_

"_A bike, you mean like a ten speed?"_

"_No, I mean like a '94 Harley Soft Tail. Oh, man she was gorgeous Castle. I felt so free when I was riding her. My dad had a fit when I brought it home, said he was going to send me to a convent. My mom just looked at me, and in true Johanna form said 'Katie, just don't make me say I told you so.'"_

_Castle chuckled. "Somehow, I can see you as the rebellious type."_

_Kate narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't let the jumpsuit and bars fool you, Mr. Castle, I was a good kid, a little stubborn at times but I still made good grades, stayed away from drugs… well at least the really bad kinds."_

_She stuck her tongue out between her teeth and Castle let out another laugh. Now, he really had wished he had brought the coffee. They had been sitting in the meeting room for over an hour talking about everything and nothing. The guards hadn't even knocked once. _

"_So, did you sell the bike when you left for college?"_

"_What? Oh, no. As far as I know my dad still had it in storage after I was arrested. He never told me if he sold it, or what."_

"_Storage?"_

"_Yeah, he had a locker outside the city. Castle? What is it?"_

"_Maybe there's something there."_

_Kate shook her head hesitantly. "Castle, no, I doubt it. My dad never wanted me to look into Mom's case. Chances are there's nothing there."_

"_What about from your old apartment? Could there have been something there?"_

"_The cops went through it, there would be nothing left. They would have taken it all."_

"_What if they missed something?"_

He stared at the yellow door, his hand resting on the silver metal lock.

What if…

He pushed the door up and the stale air hit in the face. No one had been in this locker in a long time.

The motorcycle was sitting in the middle of the floor; black and silver metal staring back at him. He ran his fingers over the handlebars as he stepped into the space. The helmet sat on the seat. Purple. Shimmery.

_Purple is my favorite color._

He glanced down at his watch. It was eight PM. He wondered what she was doing. She would be in her cell. Alone. Was she reading? Sleeping? Working out?

It had gotten warm in the room as they sat together talking. She had shrugged out of the top of her jump suit, tying the arms around her waist. He could see her biceps under the sleeves of the plain white shirt. She hadn't lied, her well defined muscles had told their own story about the amount of time she had spent working out.

_You should see my abs…_

He shook the thoughts from his mind. He shouldn't be thinking like that. Not about her.

His hand slipped from the bike and he turned to look at the rest of the contents of the locker. There were a couple pieces of furniture- a tired armchair and a worn dresser. His eyes were drawn to a pile of boxes in the corner.

Katie.

The name was scrawled in black sharpie on the side of each one. The letters not perfect, the word slanting either up or down depending on the box. It was never straight.

_My father drank himself to death._

Castle closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to be Jim Beckett. His wife dying and, then, only a few short years later his only child arrested.

_He was a good man, Castle, but he wasn't strong enough. Neither was I, if I had been stronger I would have been able to let it go and just help him…_

"You're helping him now, Kate. You're helping yourself, too." He whispered the words as he moved towards the corner in a few short steps.

_A copy… Castle, I made a copy of the file. I hid it in the back corner of my closet in a shoebox… everything else was in the living room on the front wall; they would have seen it there. Maybe they thought they wouldn't have to dig any deeper. Maybe if they thought it was all right there…"_

"_Then they wouldn't have bothered to look in the closet."_

"_Because they would've wanted to get out fast and trust me they would have taken one look at that closet and said 'forget it' if they were in a rush."_

_Castle chuckled. "That bad, huh?"_

_Kate shrugged. "I like shoes."_

_Castle leaned forward, arms pressed into the table, their faces inches from each other now. Another chuckle. "Noted. Now, where's this locker?"_

He pulled the first box down off of the stack, ripping the strip of tape off of the top. Kitchen utensils. He sighed, shoving it to the side so he could pull down another one. This one was heavier. Oh, who was he kidding he thought as he let the box fall to the ground with a pained grunt. That box weighed a ton. He ripped the tape off. Books. He let out another sigh.

He had been supposed to meet Alexis for dinner. He had had to call to cancel and the guilt was still gnawing away at his gut. He shook his head as he reached for another box; she hadn't been upset, said she was just going to go get dinner with her friends. It still irked him.

He ripped the tape off of the third box. Clothes. He was getting closer. He ripped the tape off of the fourth. Jackpot. He grinned to himself as he pulled out a shoe— a four-inch heel. He whistled to himself. Damn. That was hot.

He shook his head again. No. Bad Rick.

He pulled out a pair of sneakers, tied together by the laces, and placed them on the ground, followed be a couple more pairs of heels and a pair of slippers. The shoeboxes were nestled at the bottom, and he had to dig his fingers into them, denting the sides to pry them out. Somehow he doubted Kate would mind. He flipped the tops off the first two without ceremony and sighed, throwing them to the side, when he saw only shoes inside. More heels he silently noted. He pulled out the last box and his breath caught in his throat, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he slowly lifted the lid.

He forced a single eye open and let out an astonished laugh when a stack of papers stared back at him. He flipped through the papers quickly: some pages covered in scribbled notes, others pictures. His gaze landed on a stapled bundle at the bottom of the stack and his shook his head as a smile threatened to break across his face. "Son of a bitch… smart girl."

He placed the pages on the ground and fumbled through his pocket for his phone.

He punched in the number with trembling fingers, "Hey, Esposito. I got it. The information we need. I got it. Yeah, I'll bring it in now."

He shoved the phone back into his pocket and was gathering up the papers when he felt the cold metal of the gun pressed to the back of his neck.

* * *

A/N: I'm gonna go hide... over there...


	9. Chapter 9

Unwritten

A/N: Oh, wow. Your response to last chapter was overwhelming. Thank you so much! (and thank you for not threatening me too badly, I appreciate it. I am writing just as long as my fingers will let me). Thanks again to Nicole for beta-ing this chapter for me.

Disclaimer: If I owned it I wouldn't be counting down the days until the Sept 24th season 5 premiere date. (One month people!) ;)

* * *

Chapter 9

"Beckett!"

Kate's head popped off the pillow and she let out a pained groan as the pounding of a fist on the metal door reverberated through her still sleeping mind. She brought a fist to her face, rubbing the sleep from her eye.

"Beckett! Get your lazy ass out of bed, you have a visitor."

Kate rolled off the bed, landing on the ground in a crouch as her body, still asleep, attempted to function. Her hands shook as she hurriedly stripped off her prison issue pajamas and pulled on her overalls and undershirt. Her heart pounded in her chest- both from the overwhelming nightmare she had been stuck in and her rude awaking from it.

She shoved her hands through the slot, still blinking herself awake as the cold metal cuffs locked around her wrists.

She tapped her bare foot impatiently as she waited for Margaret to open the door. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. If Castle was here this early it was because he had found something. There was still hope.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Margaret snorted when the door opened, and she gripped Kate by the elbow, leading her down the hall.

"What? No coffee?" Kate retorted. "This place has terrible room service. I would like to lodge a complaint with the management."

Margaret let out another snort as she yanked Kate around the corner with a little more force than necessary. Kate sighed, lifting her joined hands up to make a cursory run through her hair. She didn't even want to think about the case of bed head she had. Not that it mattered. Castle wouldn't care and she didn't care if Castle cared about her hair. It was just hair and she was in prison so it wasn't exactly her first priority.

Kate rolled her eyes at herself.

"Might want to pinch your cheeks too, give yourself a little color for Prince Charming," Margaret sassed as she picked up her pace slightly, causing Kate to trip over her own feet.

Kate rolled her eyes again, biting her tongue to keep her retorts to herself.

"Hey, wait!" She exclaimed as Margaret dragged her past the meeting room. "Where are we going?"

"Phone room," the guard replied.

"But we're always in the meeting room."

"Not today."

Kate sighed as they stopped at the last door in the long hall and waited until it buzzed. She went to take a step inside, stumbling again slightly as Margaret gave her a helpful shove. A growl escaped her throat and she shot a glare back over her shoulder as she walked towards the one chair that was pulled out. Kate slid into it, using her bound hands to gather her hair, tossing it over one shoulder as she glanced up at the person staring back at her.

She froze, her hands stilling around her hair before she dropped it all and fumbled for the phone, but words failed her as her eyes caught those of the person sitting across from her.

"My father had a gun held to his head last night because of you."

"I'm sorry who…" Kate's eyes widened as she stared at the red headed girl on the other side of the glass. "You're Castle's daughter."

"Yeah, I am, and my father almost died last night because of you, because of this stupid mission he is on."

"Wait, what happened? Is he okay?"

The girl snorted. "If you call having a concussion because you were pistol whipped on the back of the head and being found after lying unconscious on the floor of a storage locker for hours okay, then yeah, he's fine."

Kate closed her eyes, sagging back in the chair as she let out a sigh of relief. He was okay; he was alive.

"Damn it," Kate mumbled into the phone as she sagged back in the chair and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "I told him to be careful."

"You told him…" the daughter scoffed and Kate's head shot back up to see the fire burning in her eyes. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to _blame him_ for getting a gun held to his head. This is _your _fault. Ever since meeting you he's been different- he hasn't been sleeping, he doesn't go out anymore unless he's "investigating" something, he's been canceling dinners with me. All he does is stare at that stupid "murder board" he's set up in his office and try to work on this case. He's obsessed. All he can think about is you and proving your innocence but you know what I think you're actually guilty and this is all one big game to you."

Kate blanched as the words and the bite in the girl's voice cut her straight through to her core. She took a deep breath. This was a girl, just a scared, angry girl no older than she had been when she had lost a parent. "I'm sorry, I…"

"No. No!" She was practically yelling into the phone now and Kate steeled herself not to move the receiver away from her ear. She could take it. She could let this girl vent to her. "You don't get to tell me that you're _sorry_ or that you even care because you don't. You're just using him as a means to an end, you cold murderous bitch. Sitting here all safe while he goes and does your dirty work, putting himself in danger for you, for this stupid crusade based on theories, conspiracies and _your_ word. All he can talk about is Kate this and Kate that. 'Kate was framed.' 'Kate doesn't deserve to be in prison. She has nobody, she needs me.' Well you know what, _Kate_? He's all I've got. My mom laughed- _laughed_- when she got pregnant and he asked her to get married because he was just an unpublished novelist; a nobody. But he's somebody to me. He's my _father_ and deserves so much more than a nobody but you."

The girl looked her over, her expression one of utter disgust and contempt. Kate swallowed, the motion feeling thick and foreign in her body. The sounds of the outside world drowned out by the sound of the blood rushing to her head. Her jaw worked, wanting to say something, anything to this girl; this nameless girl. God, she didn't even know her name.

Kate's eyes snapped forward again as the redhead started talking again. "So, you know what you can do to prove that you're _sorry?_ Leave us the hell alone."

Then she was up and out of the room in a whirl of red and fury, and Kate was left sitting, staring at the empty chair. The phone hung limply from her fingers.

The door buzzed behind her and Kate could only continue to stare at the space.

A throat cleared and Kate cocked her head to the side so that she could see Margaret staring in at her, that irritating smirk characteristically in place.

"So, you were expecting Prince Charming and you got the annoying step-daughter instead, huh? How irritating."

Kate was silent as she hung up the phone and pushed herself out of the chair, trudging towards the door, her bare feet scuffing against the cold concrete floor. She didn't care.

She glanced up at Margaret when she reached the door, the guard blocking her way into the hall. Kate swallowed the lump forming in her throat, fighting back the torrent of tears that were threatening, until she was back in the privacy of her own cell.

"I want to go back to my cell," she stated quietly.

Margaret smirked but refused to move.

Kate swallowed again. "I want to go back to my cell. Now."

The guard quirked an eyebrow.

Kate gritting her teeth. "Please."

Margaret took a step out of the way, bowing down mockingly as she allowed Kate to walk past her.

When the door of Kate's cell finally slammed shut behind her she stared at the metal food tray laying on the floor at her feet. She could hear the clock in the hall ticking seconds by as she stared down at the meal: oatmeal, a banana, and a sealed cup of orange juice. She let out a sob, her chin crumbling as the tears that had been pooling in her eyes finally began to fall. Slowly she reached down, picking up the tray and balanced it carefully in the palm of her hand before hurling it at the opposite wall, watching it in faint fascination as the mess of glop oozed down the wall.

Her fist clenched at her side as she sank down on the bed before pushing herself back off the soft surface and began pacing her cell. The girl's words echoed through her mind.

_My father almost died because of you. _

_He's all I've got. _

Kate rubbed a hand down the side of her face roughly. She knew what it was like to lose a parent. The pain it caused. She knew what it was like to lose both, to have no one. She sighed. She didn't want that for this girl.

She paused in the middle of the cell, her fist still clenching. She closed her eyes, shoulders sagging as she turned on her spot striding towards the door. She banged on the door three times with her tight fist and looked up as the guard opened the door, her voice holding more resolve than she felt. She knew what she had to do.

Her stomach sank as she forced out the words. "I want to speak to the warden."

* * *

Castle rubbed the back of his head tenderly as he trudged up to the door of the prison. He swallowed thickly before pulling the handle, and stepping into the building. He glanced down at the two coffees in his hand and sighed. It was a hope, a thin hope that they would be able to soften the blow. He had lost it. The evidence, it has been right there in his grasp and he had let it slip through his fingertips. He should have been more careful; he should have waited for Ryan and Esposito. He should have… He sighed again. But no, he had to go and charm the manager into letting him into the locker alone. Stupid. So stupid. He shook his head as he remembered that look on Alexis's face when he came to in the hospital.

He would be safer from now on, he reassured himself as he approached the window and gave Doreen a tired smile. "Hey Doreen. How are you today?"

Doreen gave him a hesitant smile in reply. "I'm doing okay, Mr. Castle."

"I need to speak to Kate but I'm guessing you knew that already."

"Actually, Mr. Castle, the warden requested to speak to you when you came in today."

Castle's eyes darted up to regard the guard questioningly. "Of course."

Castle followed Doreen down the hall quietly, the two coffee still grasped in his fists. She didn't glance over her shoulder to see if he was following, didn't make for any small talk. Normally the silence might have bothered him but on this occasion he was grateful for it. All he wanted to do was talk to Kate and then head to the precinct. He had managed to snap a couple of pictures of the file before he called Esposito. Unfortunately who ever knocked him out and took the file also smashed his phone. Hopefully the boys would be able to salvage something. Maybe all was not lost yet.

He nodded to Doreen as he walked past her into the warden's office.

"Good morning Warden Carter," Castle greeted as took in the stern woman sitting behind the desk. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Warden Carter motioned for Castle to sit and he perched obediently, coffees resting on his thighs. "I got a visit from Kate Beckett earlier today. She requested to no longer have any visitors and to be taken out of solitary and be put back into the main population."

Castle felt his stomach plummet, bile rising in his throat. "But why? I just saw her last night. She was fine. Something must have happened. Why would she...?"

Castle's eyes darted around the office, searching for an answer he wasn't going to find in the dull grey walls. They were so close…

"I don't know Mr. Castle, she wouldn't say but she was very insistent on both matters."

"She'll be killed."

Warden Carter let out a sigh. "There's nothing I can do. I can only suggest to keep an inmate in solitary for their own safety. I can't force them."

"At least let me speak to her one more time, find out what's going on. She'll talk to me," Castle begged, his hands tightening around the thin cardboard cups.

"I'm sorry Mr. Castle. She was very specific. No visitors, especially you."

The warden rose from her chair and held a hand out to the door in silent dismissal. Castle stood stiffly, turning towards the door before hesitating and turning back around to face the middle-aged woman. "Can you at least give her a note for me?"

Warden Carter sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose but finally nodded in acceptance. "Fine."

Castle placed the coffees on the desk as he scribbled the quick note before folding it in half and handing it to the warden. "Thank you."

Warden Carter nodded her head in silent acknowledgement and followed Castle to the door, watching as he trailed behind Doreen back towards the outside world.

She blew out a puff of air before wandering down the hall, flagging down the first guard she could find.

"Margaret," she called. "Can you give this to Inmate Beckett please?"

Margaret nodded her consent, taking the slip of paper from the warden's outstretched hand before turning back down the hall. She glanced over her shoulder, watching as the warden disappeared around the corner. Once she was sure the other woman was gone she flipped open the note and read the contents.

'Kate, I don't know what's going on with you but I just want to let you know that we found something. Start thinking about where you want to have that dinner. Just hold on a little while longer. - Castle."

Margaret let out a snort and glanced over her shoulder once more before crumbling the note up and tossing into a trashcan.

* * *

Castle sagged against the door as he reached the safety of his apartment, resting his head gently against the hard wood surface. It was pounding.

"Dad! Where have you been?"

He cracked an eye open to see his daughter staring at him from the kitchen counter, her hands wringing with worry.

"Hey Pumpkin. I was at the prison. Went to see Kate."

"You did?"

Castle startled slightly at the change in tone in Alexis's voice.

"Yeah," He sighed, shaking it off. "But she refused to see me. It was so strange. She was fine last night."

"She did?" Alexis questioned, her voice soft, surprised.

Castle opened his other eye to stare at his daughter. Pushing himself off the door, his eyes swiveling to stay on her as he passed. She was acting strange. He shook his head. It was probably just the concussion talking.

He padded into the office, rubbing his aching forehead with his thumb and forefinger as he perched himself on the edge of his desk and stared at the half full white board.

"What are you doing?"

Castle glanced over to see Alexis filling the doorway.

"I'm working on the case."

"But she refused to see you, doesn't that mean you should drop it? She obviously doesn't want your help anymore."

Castle shook his head, turning to look at the redhead. "I stopped by the precinct on my way home. Ryan said they should be able to recover the photos from the phone. That means we will have the evidence we need to exhume Johanna Beckett and prove that she was murdered. From there we can open an investigation into Raglan and get Kate at least retried if not get her conviction overturned all together. Once I write this story, get it out for the world to see it will be over. We'll be able to catch the sons of bitches that did this. I can't stop now, I won't."

"But you almost died last night."

"And she's going to die if she stays in there. I can do this Alexis. I can make a difference. I don't care what I have to do to make it happen. I am going to get her out of there and I am going to tell her story. I have to. She was put back into the general population today. She's not going to last long. Not anymore."

Alexis blanched as she watched her father turn back towards the board, a new energy born inside of him.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, I'm just going to stay over here... and hide.


	10. Chapter 10

Unwritten

A/N: Thank you to Nic & Kate for your awesome beta-ing skills and for your insights for this chapter.

Disclaimer: All this angst is giving me a headache. I think it's time for a change...

* * *

Chapter 10

Captain Roy Montgomery stared at the three men in his office. None of them were sitting. Montgomery's arms came up to cross over his chest as he swayed slightly from foot to foot.

"Let me get this straight. You two," he waved a finger slightly between his detectives, "have been investigating this behind my back in all of your extensive 'free-time' and pulling a civilian along behind you?"

Ryan and Esposito had the courtesy to look chagrined as their boss leveled a stare at them, awaiting an explanation.

"I asked them to, Sir."

Montgomery's gaze snapped to Castle; an eyebrow rose in a silent request for continuation.

"Well, you see, Sir, Captain, a woman, an inmate at Bedford Hills, got in contact with me a few months ago. She wanted me to write her story. And, well some things were uncovered. I think she was framed and wrongly imprisoned, Sir, and I enlisted Detectives Ryan and Esposito to help me investigate…" Castle's voice trailed off and the captain dropped his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger.

"What's this woman's name?"

"Kate Beckett, Sir."

Montgomery's head snapped up and he forced himself to school his features. His gut clenched and he sucked in a deep breath, forcing himself to let it out slowly. He should have known this day would come. A woman with that much drive, that much tenacity, did not give up without a fight. "Tell me about her."

Castle exchanged a look with the detectives as Montgomery settled into his chair, his fingers steepled in front of his mouth. Castle sank down into the chair across the desk from the captain and Montgomery listened as Castle spun the tale, which he knew was not a fantasy at all.

His eyes refocused on the men in front of him when he realized that Castle had stopped speaking, the words hanging like a noose in the air between them, his own noose. He sighed, or maybe it was a lifeline, a chance at redemption. Finally.

He held out a hand, motioning for the file clutched in Ryan's hands. "Show me what you have."

Ryan rushed to the desk in a few hurried steps, holding out the file to his boss. "Castle's phone got smashed by the man that attacked him in the storage locker but we were able to recover some of the images. They are mostly just fragments but there is enough there to compel a warrant to exhume Johanna Beckett's body. Once we have the body we can prove that she was murdered and open an investigation into Raglan."

Montgomery's eyes fluttered closed as he examined the blurry photos. "Do it."

* * *

Kate gingerly held the ice pack to her swollen lip, her gaze cast down to study the series of cracks and tiny holes in the concrete floor. The florescent lights were making the throbbing in her head more than she could bear. Couldn't they just turn them off, let her suffer in the dark, in the silence? She saw the tips of the sensible black pumps step into her line of vision and her eyes rose slowly, taking in the stark black skirt and navy button down under the black suit jacket.

Warden Carter was staring down at her where she was sitting on the vinyl covered examination table. The woman's lips were pursed and she had her arms crossed over her chest. Kate sighed. She knew what was coming next.

"What happened, Beckett?"

Kate's gaze dropped back down to stare at the small collection of dirt and grime in the corner of the otherwise spotless room. That corner that was impossible to clean unless you got on your hands and knees and scraped it out with a q-tip. She stayed silent.

"Uh-huh."

Kate sighed again, wincing as she adjusted the ice pack to rest more on her bruised cheek. The motion caused the butterfly bandage on her forehead to pull.

"Are you going to try to lie to me at least? Give me something to write down on a report as to why you are back in the infirmary for the third day in a row?"

Kate continued to stare at the corner.

"Look, Beckett, ten years you've been in here and you have been nothing but a model prisoner. You keep your head down, stay out of trouble. I don't know what's going on with you but just let me put you back in solitary. Just for a few months. Trial dates are coming up, parole hearings. Things will calm down in a month or two."

"No."

Warden Carter sighed again as she started to pace the room. "You want to tell me what you and Richard Castle have been talking about or why you refuse to see him now?"

Kate's eyes flickered up at that and the Warden stopped her pacing, coming to stand in front of her again.

Kate's eyes flickered back down. She adjusted the bag back to cover her fat lip.

"He's been calling every day, keeps saying he's not going to give up."

"What? No!" Kate's head snapped up, irritating the already searing pain behind her eyes. "He needs to stop. He was supposed to stop."

Carter let out a sigh, motioning for the nurse to leave them alone, the other woman complying with an irritated snap of her Latex glove.

"Beckett," Warden Carter began, taking another step toward her. "Just tell me what's going on. Has he been harassing you in some way?"

"No."

"Then what is it? Why are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Kate placed the icepack on the table next to her, using her hand to run through her hair, twisting it sloppily so it could lie over her shoulder. Her other hand in a brace, fractured from where one of the inmates had stomped on it two days before.

"He found something." She mumbled quietly.

Carter looked up startled. "Something?"

"That can prove I'm innocent."

The warden sucked in a deep breath, taking a step back. Questions raced through her mind. She backed up to the counter, bracing herself against the surface in an attempt to steady herself and her mind. "Ten years and this is the first time you've ever mentioned anything about being innocent. Why now?"

Kate snapped her mouth back shut, her face drawn in pain as her lips pressed together.

"Why is it bad?"

"Because he was stupid!"

Carter's eyes widened as the words came spilling out of the normally silent woman, Beckett's face lighting up with more emotion in one second than Carter had seen out of her during the ten years prior.

"He's reckless, he's going to do something stupid and get himself killed. I told him to be careful, I told him to watch his back. I didn't know he had a kid. I thought he would talk to a few people, get what he needed and leave it at that. I didn't know this would happen and now he's not giving up…"

"You're trying to save his life…"

Kate nodded. "But he's not stopping."

Carter's eyes widened as she watched the woman on the table attempt to school her features, to control her emotions. "You think if you die he'll stop."

Kate's eyes drifted shut and the warden crossed the room to once again stand in front of her. "Beckett, I can tell you this right now. That man won't stop. Ever."

"I want to go back to my cell now."

"Beckett, you're going back to solitary."

"No! I want to go back to my cell."

"I send you back to the general population and you will get killed. The last few days have proved that, and while you have made it perfectly clear that you are okay with that, I'm not. I don't want to have to write the report that says that I knowingly sent one of my inmates into a situation that caused her death. Are we clear?"

Kate's gaze drifted back to the filthy corner of the room. The warden sighed as she stepped toward the door, motioning at the nurse that it was safe to reenter the room. She turned back to glance over her shoulder as she entered the hall, stopping Doreen just outside the door.

"Keep an eye on her. Let me know if anything else happens," the warden ordered. The guard nodded in reply. "And Doreen. Just you, no one else."

"Yes, ma'am," Doreen replied.

* * *

Kate stared at the empty cell. There was no bed this time, only a mattress on the floor. They had taken her shoes, given her slip-ons. No laces. Doreen had said they would bring her stuff in for her.

Kate sighed. She was on suicide watch.

The door buzzed and Kate stepped to the back of the cell as Doreen entered with a box, the purple blanket folded on the top of the pile. She didn't own much: a few changes of clothes, the blanket, a pile of books, a toothbrush, a couple of letters she had gotten from her father and the birthday card from Castle. The toothbrush was the only thing that hadn't made it.

Kate let out a huff of a laugh. They had thought she would make a shiv out of the handle and stab herself to death. They really did think she was insane, but then again she had thought of the scenario. Maybe she was insane— thinking of ways to kill herself with mundane objects.

Kate settled back onto the mattress. Her hand drifted out, softly petting the blanket that was folded at the foot of her bed. Part of her was surprised that it was still there, that someone hadn't taken it yet, taunted her with it. The yarn was soft, worn. It needed to be washed but Kate was afraid it would never be returned. Her fingers continued to work over the surface, her nail snagging in one of the holes. She retracted her hand back slowly, bringing it up to her mouth to chew on the jagged nail, smoothing it down with her teeth.

She drew her hand back, examining her fingertips, her calloused palms. Her mind briefly flickered to what it would be like to have a manicure again. She snorted at herself. Something so trivial.

She leaned back against the pillow, pulling the still folded blanket up to clutch it against her chest. Her eyes drifted shut and she allowed her mind to drift, to imagine those everyday tasks that others took for granted; saw as a burden: a haircut, doing her own laundry, cooking dinner. Her mother had always had a glass of wine at her side as she cooked dinner. Taking out the garbage, dancing around the apartment as she cleaned, dusting every surface, grumbling to herself as she teetered on top of a chair so she could reach the fan blades. They were all things that she could do again if she didn't give up.

_He won't stop. _

Kate sighed, curling onto her side.

_He won't stop and neither should you. _

* * *

Roy Montgomery stared at the stacks of papers in his home office. He hadn't seen them in years. They had always been there; sealed in a manila envelope in the bottom of his safe, but he hadn't opened the package. Not until now. There had been no reason to. He had forced himself not to think about it, not to think about her.

When he had found Kate Beckett sitting in the file room with a flashlight and the file open on her lap all those years ago and had turned a blind eye, he had thought he was doing the right thing, making up for the sins of his past, but it hadn't been enough.

He stared at the files. He should have done this years ago but he had been too selfish. He thought that if he ignored it, then it would go away. He should have known better. He had signed the exhumation order earlier that day. Johanna Beckett's body would be dug up in the morning and then they would know. An investigation would be opened into Raglan. They would figure it out, what they had done, what he had done Castle would write his book and those in charge would get worried. They would take them out, all of them. Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Castle and Beckett. They really didn't know who they were dealing with but Montgomery knew.

These files were insurance, all the proof that Castle would need to write Beckett's story, all the evidence Esposito and Ryan would need to arrest those responsible once and for all. They would get Beckett out of prison and back to the life she deserved to have.

He shoved the stack into an envelope, quickly scrawling the address on the front of the package. He carefully placed the stamps in the corner before heading out the door, gun on his hip and package under his arm. It was time to end this once and for all.


	11. Chapter 11

Unwritten

A/N: Serious thank yous to my betas Nic and Kate. Thanks Nic for the flailing and Kate for the grammar checks & idea bouncing. Great minds...

A/N 2: Thank you to everyone for your kind words & reviews. I tried to respond personally to them, I'm sorry if I didn't get to you this round but know that they are all read and appreciated. You all make me smile :)

* * *

Chapter 11

Castle stared at the screen in front of him, his eyes drifting from the computer to the series of photos taped to the white board. It was all there: pictures of Johanna Beckett's exhumed body, a replica of the knife used to stab the poor woman time after time. They had examined the wounds, the weapon. They had pulled long hours night after night staring at case files, cold cases, looking for matches. They had found three. Three other people had been stabbed around the same time as Johanna Beckett in the same fashion.

Four people had died and they had done nothing. They had covered it up, brushed it under the rug.

Castle swallowed hard. He felt like he was going to be sick.

Days, weeks, had passed. Thanksgiving had come and gone. He had broken away from the case long enough to have a pleasant day with his family but the tension was still in the air. It had been there for weeks: in the way that Alexis looked at him, at the board in his office. Worry swirled with guilt. She had brushed it off; worry over finals. His mother had asked for another glass of wine while entertaining them with another extravagant story from the stage.

They had laughed and sung carols as they had put up the Christmas tree later that night, a Thanksgiving tradition in the Castle/Rogers household. The turkey wasn't even cold yet and they were stringing up holly.

"_No, wait." Castle held up a hand, reaching out for the star Alexis was unwrapping from the neatly taped bubble wrap. The girl must have been the one to put it away last Christmas. _

"_What is it, Dad?"_

"_Not yet. Let's wait to put the star on until Christmas Eve, huh sweetie?"_

_Alexis pinned him with a confused look but handed over the sparkling gold object with no objections. "Why?"_

_Castle's mind flickered to the picture in his office, the one he stared at day after day: Kate hanging ornaments on the tree. "I'm waiting for a miracle."_

A written confession from Gary McAlister, John Raglan's old partner, had found its own place on the board. It stated that they had framed Kate Beckett for the murder of Dick Coonan and planted evidence in her apartment.

His eyes fluttered closed as he replayed the conversation in his head. The story spilled out of the man the moment they pressed him about Johanna Beckett. They knew what McAlister and Raglan had done and the former cop knew that they knew. It was only a matter of time before he found himself behind bars, or worse: dead.

"_I'll talk, as long as you provide me with protection: a new identity, Witness Protection." _

_Ryan and Esposito exchanged a glance as Castle stared at them through the one-way glass. They would have to ask the DA about that. _

_Esposito stepped out to make a phone call, walking back in moments later with a nod. McAlister stared up at them, a glint in his eyes. _

"_It's easy for you to sit in judgment now, but you have no clue what it was like, what we went through. It was a tough time back then, gangs, mobs, ruled the streets. We called it incarceration. We would take them off the streets, hold them for ransom from their own people; knock them around a little bit. After a few days, once the money had been paid, we'd put them back on the street. Everything was fine until Bobby Armand got in the way of us grabbing Joe Pulgatti. We didn't know Bobby Armand was an FBI agent but he got in the way and ended up dead."_

"_What does this have to do with Johanna Beckett?"_

"_I had nothing to do with Johanna Beckett. That was someone else."_

"_Who?"_

"_Someone you'll never touch. When her daughter figured out what had happened with Pulgatti she began to tie it all together and people got worried."_

_Esposito leaned over the table, close enough so that he could smell the sweat rolling off of McAlister's brow; see the yellow coating on his jagged teeth. "Which people?"_

"_This is so much bigger than you could possibly imagine. Kate Beckett awoke the dragon ten years ago, Detective. I'd advise you let the sleeping beast lie."_

"_What did you do to Kate Beckett?" Ryan stepped in, leaning over next to his partner, both of them staring McAlister in the face. _

"_She got too close and those in charge got worried. We were ordered to take care of it."_

"_Why didn't you just kill her?"_

_Castle blanched behind the mirror. _

"_Killing people leaves bodies, it's messy. This way we killed two birds with one stone so to speak."_

"_What do you mean, two birds?"_

_McAlister smirked, "We killed Dick Coonan and framed Kate Beckett for it, planted the gun in her apartment."_

_His eyes shifted between the detectives. _

"_You have your confession. Now, I would like you to hold up your end of the deal."_

_Esposito didn't move for a long second, his gaze holding McAlister's until it was clear that the former cop wouldn't speak any more truths. _

Castle stared at the blinking cursor. They had it, the confession: a statement proving that Kate Beckett was innocent. All of Raglan and McAlister's cases were being reopened, many overturned. He glanced at the calendar sitting on the corner of his desk: December 9. He let out a sigh.

_She awoke the dragon…_

He had been thinking about it for days.

He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. They had a confession, papers would be pushed through and Kate would be let out of jail. Free. But free to what?

_This is so much bigger than you could possibly imagine…_

Would there be people coming for her, for them? His eyes drifted back to the story, the tale he was spinning about the Beckett women, about Joe Pulgatti, about John Raglan and the dragon.

They needed more. They needed to slay the dragon.

He stood from his desk, stretching his arms skyward as he arched his back. Alexis would be home soon. Her exams were done and she was moving back for the holiday. She had said something about a possible ski trip with her friends.

He paced the room, let out a sigh. There had to be something they could do.

McAlister was gone, away in protective custody. Raglan was dead, Pulgatti had told them everything he knew, corroborating much of McAlister's confession. There was nothing else. They would get Kate released from prison. And then she would be killed at the hand of the dragon.

He ran a hand through his hair as he paced, the ends of his tattered and worn bathrobe brushing against his pajama clad legs. He could feel the anxiety rising in his chest as a hand ran down his face.

He had investigated this, torn it wide open and she would be killed because of it. They both would.

He jumped as someone pounded on the door and he hurried across the apartment, sparing a glance through the peephole before cracking the door open, peering out at the person on the other side suspiciously.

"Rick Castle?"

"Yes."

The man held out a pen and clipboard. "I need you to sign please."

Castle released his vice grip on the doorknob, allowing the door to swing open wider and grabbed the proffered object, scribbling his signature sloppily on the slip of paper.

"Merry Christmas," the man stated as he shoved a thick manila envelope into Castle's hands.

Castle mumbled an incoherent reply as he shut the door, wandering to sit down behind his desk.

He flipped up the tab on the back of the package slowly, ripping the flap up with the edge of his finger. He slid the contents out, letting the collection of papers fall to the desk before rifling through the stack.

His hands moved through the pages faster, spreading out the contents: files, pictures, names, faces.

It was there; it was all there. Proof, everything they needed… His lips turned up into a wide smile, his face threatening to crack as he let out an amazed laugh.

"Merry Christmas, indeed."

He scrambled for the envelope, flipping it over to see the label. No return address.

His phone rang and he reached for his blindly, his fingers curling around it, bringing it to his ear.

"Castle."

"Castle, it's Esposito. Montgomery's dead."

The smile slipped from his lips.

* * *

Kate was sitting cross-legged on the bed, blanket wrapped around her shoulders when the door buzzed open. Her eyes drifted up from the grey chipped wall she had been staring at for the better part of the morning. It wasn't like there was anything better to do. Doreen was staring back at her, the stern guard's normal press mouthed frown replaced with a soft smile.

"What?" Kate huffed, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She didn't want to go see the nurse. She didn't want her hour of time in the library. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to be left alone.

"The warden wants to see you," Doreen answered calmly, her normal pithy comments absent.

Kate cocked her head to the side before letting out a sigh, wiggling in her spot to get more comfortable— her back pressed against the unforgiving wall for support. "Tell her I'm busy with a standing lunch date and have to reschedule. I'll call her."

Doreen let out a soft snort, taking a step into the room and Kate turned to her curiously. They never left the doorway, unless the prisoner was causing problems but then they were only in twos. This time there was only Doreen, there wasn't even backup in the hall. "Trust me, Beckett, you want to go see the warden."

Kate's body uncurled slowly, the blanket slipping from her shoulders as she stood, holding out her wrists for the guard to cuff.

Doreen shook her head slowly, the smile not leaving her lips, a kindness in her eyes that Kate hadn't seen in the ten years she had known the woman. "Not this time, Beckett, come on."

Kate followed the guard obediently down the hall, giving her only a sideways glance as the guard held open the door to the warden's office for her.

"Beckett, have a seat," Warden Carter greeted with a wave of her hand.

Kate sat quietly, her hands wringing in her lap, forearms pressing on her thighs, willing the lower limbs to stay still. She was trembling. "Ma'am?"

She couldn't form words, her chest constricting as she stared at the woman, maybe ten years older than herself. Her hair was pulled back in its normal severe bun, ears devoid of rings, face covered in little to no make-up.

"An order was hand delivered to me about twenty minutes ago, Beckett." She slid a file across the desk and Kate stared at it, her heart pounding so hard in her chest that she could hear the rushing of blood in her head. She reached out, her fingers shaking as she pulled the piece of paper towards her, reading the words slowly, carefully. She reached the bottom of the page and swallowed. She started at the top again, her brain still not comprehending what the words said.

She couldn't…

"Ma'am."

"You're free to go, Beckett."

"But I…"

Kate's head was spinning. She wanted to laugh, to cry. She felt like she was going to throw up, her throat closing as she gasped for words. They did it.

"Go home, Beckett."

Kate's eyes drifted up, meeting the warden's. "But I've got nowhere to go."

Warden Carter smiled as she pushed herself up from her desk, leaning over to look at the other woman. "You've done your time, Beckett. Actually, according to this, you've done someone else's. Go on, Kate. I'm sure you'll figure something out."

Kate's leg buckled as she tried to stand, the page still clutched in her fist, her fingers threatening to break through the thin paper. She turned slowly, part of her still waiting for someone to yell at her to stop, to threaten to shoot.

"Oh, and Beckett?"

Kate jumped, whirling around to face the warden, who had stepped around the desk and was now leaning against the front. "Merry Christmas."

Kate glanced at the calendar on the wall. December 21, 2012.

She drew in a deep breath, her lips trembling up into a hesitant smile. "Merry Christmas."

She forced her legs to move steadily towards the door. Doreen was standing on the other side, a cardboard box held in her hands. She held out the box to Kate and Kate's hands reached up mechanically, grasping the sides, the paper ordering her release crinkling as it got smashed in between.

"There's a room where you can change down the hall."

Doreen led her down the hall and Kate followed obediently, once again.

_For the last time._ The voice in her head whispered in awe.

The guard motioned to a single stall bathroom at the end of the hall and Kate stepped inside, placing the box on the floor. The only clothes in the pile were the ones she had been wearing when she was arrested ten years before: faded bootleg jeans with a frayed hole in the knee and a graphic t-shirt with a swirled pattern on the front. Kate pulled them on over her utilitarian, prison-issue underwear, slipping her feet back into the plain white slip-ons she had been given weeks before. She pulled on the hooded sweatshirt, noting how baggy it was. Everything was baggy. She stared down at the box as she used one hand to hold up the pants. She hadn't noticed how much weight she had lost until now.

She jumped as someone pounded on the door and Kate turned the handle tentatively peeking out the crack.

"Here."

Doreen held out a hairbrush, an elastic tie wound around the end and Kate grasped it in a single palm, pulling it inside before pressing the door shut, her other palm pressed firmly against the wood.

She was in a bathroom. Alone. She looked down at the paper again, smoothing the wrinkled edges so that she could read the words again: those surreal glorious words.

She pulled the brush slowly through her hair, starting at the bottom, working out the knots as she went. Pulling the mop of hair over her shoulder she worked it into a quick braid, letting it fall down her front before turning back to pick up the box, light with the limited contents of her life, the purple blanket folded on the top.

She walked out into the hall, turning back to flick off the light at the last minute, her hand almost getting caught in the door.

There was a buzz to her left and Kate startled as the barred door slid open, the bright light of the day streaming in from the other side. She stared out at the room for a second, moving only when Doreen pressed on her shoulder lightly steering her towards the light: freedom.

"Be safe, Beckett."

Kate nodded absently, the words rattling around in her mind, their meaning lost in the haze.

The outer door slid open and Kate stepped out into the cool December afternoon, her feet stepped methodically, one in front of the other until she made it past the last gate, the guard nodding at her as she stepped onto the pavement of the parking lot.

She squinted as she looked around the space. Surely there was a bus to bring her back to the city. It wasn't like she had a car waiting for her or any money to hail a cab. Unless of course this was some elaborate hoax or dream or her brain had finally decided to do her in and drive her completely mad.

"Hey."

Kate jumped as the voice sounded next to her ear and she whirled around to find herself face to face with the grinning mouth of Richard Castle.

"Hi." She worked her throat to force the word out past her dry mouth and chapped lips.

"You ready to go?"

She nodded, swallowing her anxiety.

She was more than ready. "Where?"

"Home."

"I don't have a home, Castle."

He reached out, taking the box from her arms. He turned back toward his car, waiting for her to step up to his side. "Yes, you do. It's a secure building with an extra room and someone who cares about you."

Kate felt a smile pull at her lips as she fell into step beside her... writer. Home. She glanced over, seeing the shining object dangling from his hand. Her smile grew. She shouldn't…

She reached out, her fingers encircling the key, tugging it from his grasp as he let out a squeak in protest.

"Fine but I'm driving."

* * *

A/N 3: Have no fear, this is far from over.

P.S. I hope that this change in pacing didn't throw you and I didn't gloss over too much for you all.


	12. Chapter 12

Unwritten 

A/N: I am seriously blown away by you all. Thank you for all the love you have shown for this story. :)

Disclaimer: I flew beta-free on this chapter so any mistakes are mine but alas, the characters still are not.

* * *

Chapter 12

"It's not much," Castle apologized as the chime in the elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal the 4th floor of his apartment building. "But it has three bedrooms and two baths. You can stay in Alexis's room tonight. She won't be home for another two days and I don't think she would mind. We can figure out something else after that. The couch is pretty comfortable unless you want to get a hotel room or look for an apartment right away. I wouldn't be offended, but I just figured that since you don't have anyone else to stay with right now that you wouldn't mind staying here at least through the holiday. Esposito's girlfriend has a pretty nice place though. She said you could crash at her place. She's a medical examiner. Actually she's the one that helped us with your case. Well, yours and your mothers…"

Castle's voice trailed off when he looked back over his shoulder and found Kate standing awkwardly in the middle of the hallway staring at him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that about you not having anyone. I just meant to say that you are welcome for as long as you want to stay and…"

"It's okay, Castle," the words were soft, even.

Castle continued to stare at her only looking down when he had to juggle the box to fit his key into the lock. Even then his eyes flickered back to her every couple of seconds as she glanced around the hall, looking at the light fixtures and the down at the awfully patterned dark blue carpet. Her hand stuffed into the pouch of her oversized Stanford hoodie and her foot coming up to scratch the back of her other calf. She looked young, younger than she had only hours before standing outside of the barbed wire walls for the first time in ten years.

The door swung open and he stumbled inside the apartment, placing the box on the counter.

"You must be Kate!"

Castle turned around startled as his mother came sweeping into the room; her floral patterned dress topped with a polka dotted jacket and assorted strands of costume jewelry. He opened his mouth to perform introductions but his mother had already embraced Kate in a hug, the younger woman's arms stiff at her sides as Martha continued to chatter on in her ear. "It is so nice to meet you dear, even though I feel like I already know you. It is a tragedy really, what happened, what you've been through. You must be a strong woman to have survived that."

Martha trailed off as she pulled back and caught the startled expression on Kate's face. "Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Martha Rogers, Richard's mother.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Rogers," Kate's voice was quiet and her face lacked expression but Castle began to smile anyway because he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"Oh, it's Martha dear. Mrs. Rogers makes me feel old and like I should be married to a man in a red sweater. Now, don't be shy, come on in and make yourself at home. You must be freezing, is that all you've been wearing today?"

Kate nodded reluctantly and Martha clucked her tongue. "Well we must remedy that. Richard said that you have some clothes in storage but it is probably woefully outdated and we can't have that."

"It's okay, really, I…"

Martha cut her off with a cluck of her tongue and steered her towards the kitchen counter, motioning for her to sit on one of the stools. "You were behind bars in those awfully drab prison issue clothes for most of your adult life, the least we can do is get you cleaned up; a haircut, pedicure, a new wardrobe, make you feel human again."

Kate shot Castle a pleading look but he just shrugged, a crooked grin across his face. He motioned towards the box, picking it up off of the counter. "I'm going to go put this in the office."

* * *

"So that's it, huh?"

Castle looked up, startled, to see Kate standing in the doorway to his office, leaning against the door jam, a glass of red wine firmly gripped in her fingers. "I see my mother has introduced you to her favorite drink."

Kate hummed as she took another step into the office. "She insisted. It's pretty good but then again my palate hasn't exactly had the chance to get refined over the past few years. Besides, I'm not much of drinker."

"I'm guessing Bedford Hills doesn't exactly have the best wine list available."

"I don't know, that sparking grape juice they gave us on New Year's was pretty tasty."

Kate raised the glass to her lips to take another sip but changed her mind, shaking her head instead. Placing the barely touched glass on the desk, she turned to look at the board. Her eyes landed on the photos in the corner. "My dad took that picture."

Castle leaned back against the edge of the desk to look at the image she was pointing too, the one of her lacing up her ice skate.

"My mom loved ice skating. I suck at it, I'm pretty sure my ass was bruised after that trip. When I started complaining it was hurting my mother just told me to stay down, the ice would help it."

Castle couldn't help the amused snort that followed. "She sounds like she was an amazing woman."

A small smile snaked across Kate's face. "She was. She really was."

They fell into a comfortable silence as Kate wandered around the office, looking at the various odds and ends that had collected there over the years. A wooden sailboat sat next to a line of Star Wars figurines. Kate brushed her finger down the edge of the sail, taking her time examining the eclectic collection.

Castle's eyes followed her, unable to rip his gaze from her.

"It's still surreal, you know, being out."

"I can imagine."

She turned to look at him, a placating smile on her face. "No, you can't."

"No, I can't. You're right."

She nodded her head at that. Her next words were soft. "When I woke up this morning I honestly thought I was going to die in there."

The words hung in the air between them sliced only by the sound of the buzzer announcing they had a visitor. Kate's body stiffened before curling in on itself, arms wrapping around her waist.

"Dinner is here," Castle explained softly. "Mom ordered us some Chinese."

Kate nodded silently, her head bobbing more times than necessary. "It's going to take some getting used to."

It was Castle's turn to nod, his arms aching to reach out and encompass her. Instead he gave her a soft, reassuring smile and wandered out towards the door.

* * *

Kate stared out the open window to look at the sill buzzing streets of Manhattan. It was so quiet in the apartment yet so loud outside it's walls. She watched a group of club goers stumble down the sidewalk below. The sound of their raucous laughter filtered up to her. She reached out her hand to feel the cold December breeze brush against her fingertips; her head leaning forward to rest against the glass.

_They sat around the table to eat dinner, quiet conversation going. She stared at the fork and knife on the table for a long time before allowing her fingers to reach out for the utensils. There had been a pair of chopsticks too. She picked one up, ran her finger along the tip of it, her mind wandering to all the things that it would have been used for in prison. She slapped the tapered wooden tool back down on the table with a little too much force, causing the other two occupants to turn to look at her. Her fingers flexed before reaching for the fork, pushing the knife away from her as well. _

_Castle seemed to understand, reaching for the objects, pulling them away from her before gathering up the two other knives and packs of chopsticks from the table and taking them all to the sink. Out of sight, out of mind. Then she had found herself staring at her plate, the actual, ceramic plate full of food without separate compartments, waiting for permission to eat. When she finally realized what she was doing she wanted to cry. Her fingers curled around the fork and she let out a sigh of relief when she finally took a bite of the food and no one yelled at her_.

She leaned closer to the glass and her hot breath left a cloud on the windowpane. She brought a finger up and slowly slid it down, tracing the two short sticks and a curve of a simplistic happy face.

Her teeth sank into her lower lip as she stared out into the illuminated city sky. She had forgotten how bright the city was, even in the dead of night when everything was supposed to be dark, still. The cellblock had been black at night except for the occasional emergency exit or safety light in the corridor. She had had a book light for a while when she was younger and used it to read under her blanket. It had made her feel like a child again: hiding from bedtime for a few more precious pages until her parents saw the glow of the flashlight.

She flattened her palm against the cool glass and slid it down, wiping away any traces of the drawing.

_The water was scalding her skin. She could feel it burning her shoulder, her back, as she stood hunched over in the shower. She didn't care. It felt good, like she was being cleansed of all the dirt that had built up over the past ten years. She gathered up her hair, pulling it over one shoulder and reached down to pick the pair of scissors up from the edge of the tub. She had found them on the kitchen counter after dinner and had slipped them into the pouch of her hoodie when the others weren't looking. She knew that she didn't need to hide, but the thought of asking permission, of answering the questions of 'why' caused more anxiety to build up in her than the dishonest act. She hacked at the strands, catching the tail of hair in her hand it came loose. It was jagged at the end, slanted, but she didn't care. She could feel the weight being lifted. It fell to her mid back now, just below her shoulder blades and she allowed her self to smile as she ran the handful of shampoo through it, scrubbing her scalp with her blunt fingertips. _

_She took her time, using a washcloth to scrub behind her ears, down her neck, along the slope of her shoulder and down to her wrist. She looked down, studying her body as she went: the soft swell of her breasts, the plain of her stomach, rippled with muscles, the sharp jut of her hip bones, the thinness of her thighs and calves. She had eaten her fill at dinner, going back for seconds and thirds when she realized that no one was going to stop her, but her stomach still growled for more. At this rate she didn't doubt her ability to put some more weight on her too think frame. Not if Castle kept feeding her the way he did. _

_Squatting down, she encircled her knees with her arms and stared at her big toes, wiggling them as the water cascaded down her hunched back. The nails needed to be trimmed. She had seen a pedicure kit in Alexis's room but was hesitant to touch it. She uncurled herself, grabbing the disposable razor as she straightened. She reached back down with her other hand and picked up the slippery bar of soap from the holder. Juggling the two objects she curled one arm up over her head and worked the gently blade over her skin. _

_When she finally shut off the water her skin felt slick, clean, and she shook her head, getting to know the feel of her new hair. _

"You smell like cherries."

Kate whipped around to see Castle leaning against the wall only feet from her spot on the window seat.

"I used some of the lotion in the bathroom cabinet, I'll replace it," Kate answered too quickly.

Castle pushed himself off of the wall, slowly taking a step towards her, a quizzical look etched on his face. "I'm not mad, Kate."

Her eyes fluttered closed as she sucked in a deep breath, holding it in her lungs for a long second before blowing it out steadily. Her eyes blinked back open and she stared up at him in the dim light. The room was only illuminated by the glow from the street lamps below. Her lips parted, jaw working to say something, any of the statements that needed to be said but none would come. Instead she let her head fall to the side, the cold glass burning her forehead.

"Kate?"

"I wasn't ready for this."

Castle slid onto the seat next to her, his back to the window as he stared into the dark living room. Kate's toes brushed his thigh. "Ready for what?"

"Being on my own. I thought I was still me but when I was sitting at the table earlier, I was waiting for you to tell me that I could eat, I almost left the door open in the bathroom because I'm not used to showering alone, and I've been holding this like a lifeline in case someone comes up to attack me." Kate brought her hand up from her side to reveal the pair of large pointed scissors in her fist.

Castle reached out with both hands, one encircling her wrist gently while the other grasped the scissors as the fell from her now limp fingers. Her toes stiffened against his leg.

"Why are you doing this? Being so nice to me?"

"Because you are a good person and I like you."

"I'm damaged."

"Yeah, you are, and that's okay. That's what makes you extraordinary. You did something very brave, Kate. You tried to save your father. Now let me help you save yourself."

Kate drew her knees up to her chin, curling her arms around them. She was dressed in one of his shirts and sweatpants that he had laid out for her. They were too big, engulfing her thin body in a sea of fabric but she didn't mind. They were clean, soft and didn't smell like bleach. She nuzzled her head down onto her knees, her cheek pressing into her patella as she continued to stare out the window. They smelled like him. "I'm scared, Castle."

"I know."

"They're going to come for me, for you."

"No, they're not."

Her eyes drifted back over to him. "How can you be so sure?"

"Well, first," he began, turning in his seat to point out the window. "See that car down there? Those are cops."

Her eyes drifted down to the black, nondescript sedan parked on the opposite side of the street before darting back to look up at him, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.

"And second, come with me." He stood, groaning too loudly as his back and knees cracked.

Kate couldn't help the small snort of laughter at the exaggerated display of stretching.

"You laugh now but just wait until you get old, Beckett." Castle retorted as he turned back around and offered her a hand to help her up. She stared at it for a long second before cautiously placing her own in his palm.

Her teeth sank into her lower lips as she uncurled her legs, letting her feet drop to the floor as he hauled her up, turning to walk towards the office, her hand still gripped in his.

He pulled a file out of a drawer, flipping it open on the desk to reveal a stack of photocopied pages. "I put the original in a safe deposit box for safe keeping but I wanted you to see this. Ryan and Esposito's boss sent it to me a couple of weeks ago, right before he was killed, something that I believe has to do with this."

"What is it?" Kate asked, pushing the pages around, her eyes roaming over the documents.

"According to the note that Montgomery sent with it, he had been using it as blackmail against those in charge of all of this, to protect his family and himself from harm. He had been involved with Raglan at the beginning, when they were abducting members from the mob families, but he wanted out, wanted to be left alone. He used this to make it happen. Now, I can use it to protect us."

"Montgomery…" Kate's fingers stilled on one of the pages.

"Yeah, Roy Montgomery," Castle replied, his eyes searching her face for an answer to the unasked question hanging between them.

"He's the one that found me, in the records room when I first went searching for my mother's file."

"He met you?"

Kate nodded her head slowly. Her fingers curling up as her arm came back to clench against her side. "I told him about what had happened, why I was there. He let me go, even let me take the photocopies of the file I had made. You think he died because of this?"

Castle could feel the swell of anger bubbling up inside of him. His jaw clenched, his fists strained ball at this sides, nails digging into his palms. Montgomery had known Kate, had known everything, and he had let her rot in prison for ten years while sitting on information that could have gotten her out.

"Castle."

He startled when he felt the cool brush of her fingertips against his cheek, his eyes dipping down to meet hers.

"I don't blame him. He didn't know me. He wanted to protect his family, same as me. We both did what we had to do."

Her palm flattened against his cheek; thumb brushing over his cheekbone, soothing the darkened circle under his eye. The small touch sent a jolt through his body. He took a small step towards her, his own hand coming up to brush her hair back, hooking it behind her ear, his fingers threading through it.

"You cut your hair," he murmured absently as her hand fell to his shoulder, trailing down until she could feel the erratic beat of his heart under her fingertips. She nodded as she shuffled a step closer to him and his arms reached out suddenly, engulfing her in a tight hug, pressing her body against his.

"I'm glad you're not dead," he murmured into her hair, his breath tickling her scalp.

Her body stiffened momentarily before relaxing into his, her arms snaking free to curl around his body as her head rested against his shoulder, the sound of his heart beating in her ear. "I'm glad I'm not dead, too."

She clung to him for long seconds as his wide palm soothed circles over her back, pressing her body firmly into his. It had been ten years since she had been hugged like this, felt the intimacy of basic human contact and she didn't want to let go. He tried to pull back once, but her arms tightened and he let out a soft chuckle as he settled back in, allowing her to nuzzle her nose into his neck.

"You should get some sleep," he whispered into her hair a couple minutes later and she shook her head against his collarbone.

"I tried, I couldn't. It's too quiet around here and too loud in my head."

"How about this," he reasoned, his arms loosening around her but not breaking contact, his hands running down her arms, as she finally stepped back from him to look up at his face. "We set up camp in the living room, and start getting you caught up on the last ten years worth of movies that you've missed?"

A small smile broke across Kate's face as she nodded in reply, "Sound's good."

"Oh, and I get a smile. Who knew Katherine Beckett was a movie buff. Now, this might take a while. There have been plenty of good movies over the past decade but so many more awful ones, and we must watch the worst ones first," Castle planned as he pulled her out of the office, their entwined fingers tethering them together, and back towards the couch. "Of course, we could start with the TV shows. I will have you know that they based an entire reality show around a bunch of twenty-something partiers living along the Jersey shore. I swear, Beckett, I haven't seen that many fake-orange people since the last time Alexis and I had a Willie Wonka movie marathon."

Kate froze at Castle's mention of his daughter and he turned to give her a confused but hopeful smile when their linked arms became taunt and he was forced to halt his movement. "Castle, about Alexis…"

"Oh, don't worry, I've told her all about you. She's a sweetheart. Honestly I don't know how she came out as such as good, ethical person with the rest of us around here. The two of you are going to get along great."

A small smile flickered across Kate's lips as she dipped her head into a nod and allowed Castle to pull her the rest of the way to the couch as he continued to chatter on about something called a "snookie". She couldn't bear to see that spark of hopeful glee die from Castle's bright blue eyes. She would just have to talk to Alexis herself.


	13. Chapter 13

Unwritten

A/N: Again, thank you so much for the love you have shown this story. Here is a short one for you. I probably won't be able to update for a couple of days but I wanted to give you something to tide you over. ;)

Disclaimer: Once again, I flew beta-free on this one so any mistakes are mine. Castle, though, still belongs to ABC & AWM.

* * *

Chapter 13

Kate curled tighter in the bed, her knees drawn to her chest, her body shaking. Cold. She was so cold. They had taken her blanket away. Told her she couldn't have it. She had cried when she sat up in bed in the middle of a night, startled, expecting to be in Castle's apartment and found herself back in lock up. A dream. It had been a dream, a fantasy. She couldn't find Castle's books anywhere. The librarian had laughed at her when she had asked. "Who's Richard Castle? Never heard of him." Kate could feel the bile rising in her throat. No. No no no no no.

The door buzzed.

They were coming for her. She could hear the whispers in the dark. It was always dark, never light. Only sparks of cruel fantasy.

"What's she doing here?"

"She belongs here."

"She's not going anywhere."

"I'll take care of her."

The laughter echoed in her head. No. Not like this. She had to get out. She couldn't let them get her again.

Her hand closed around the shiv under her pillow. She could hear them getting closer; the hushed voices in the night. They were right behind her now; she could feel it, hear the whispers. Her body tensed. A hand clamped down on her shoulder and she sprung around, eyes flying open as she swung her arm out towards her attacker.

"Kate!"

The light was so bright. She winced as her eyes adjusted, focusing on the bright blue pair mere inches from her own.

She heaved in a breath, panting. The sound of her heart pounding in her chest beat in her ears.

"Kate, Kate, look at me."

She blinked and focused in on Castle's blue eyes flickering worriedly between hers.

"Kate, put it down."

What?

"Cas…?" Put what down?

"Kate." His voice was too calm. "Put down the scissors."

The what? "What…?"

"Kate…"

A flash of panic passed over his face and her eyes flickered down to his throat. The tip of the scissors in her fist pressed against the tender flesh of his neck.

"Oh, God," She breathed as the make shift weapon fell from her grasp. Her eyes flickered to the side to see the wide eyes of Castle's mother and daughter staring back at her.

She could feel the bile rising in her throat and she bolted from the couch, stumbling as her feet hit the floor, catching herself with her hand as she rushed towards the bathroom.

"Kate!"

She heard his voice call after her just as the door slammed shut and she feel to her knees, retching into the toilet.

* * *

Castle let his hand fall from its place, pressed against the bathroom door, when he heard the shower turn on. Hanging his head, he turned back towards the living room with a sigh, bringing his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Dad! Are you okay?"

Castle raised his head to take in the sight of his daughter's worried eyes on him. Her bag was still by the door, her coat still hanging from her shoulders.

He nodded, bringing a hand up to his neck. He forced his mouth to flicker up into a weak smile. "Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine. No damage done."

"Dad… She shouldn't be here. She's dangerous."

"Alexis, it's my fault. I shouldn't have touched her. She was having a nightmare. She didn't mean to do it."

"Dad, she could have killed you!"

"Alexis she's not normally like this. I just startled her."

Alexis let out a snort in disbelief. "Yeah, she's normally in prison."

"Alexis!" Castle called as his daughter stormed past him towards her room, the door slamming shut behind her.

He debated going after her for a minute before deciding against it, sliding onto one of the barstools instead, leaning heavily against the kitchen counter as his mother watched him from the other side.

"Richard..."

"Mother, not now please."

"Just listen to me for once in your life, okay?"

Castle's eyes flickered up to look at his mother.

"I like Kate, I do. But she's been through a lot, things she needs to work through, and she needs to see someone who can help her do that."

Castle nodded reluctantly at his mother's words. They were true. "I'll talk to her about finding a therapist. Okay?"

Martha nodded in reply.

"What do I do about Alexis?"

"Give her time, darling. You know Kate. You've been going to see her for months. The first meeting Alexis had with her, she was holding a pointed object at your neck. That might take some time to get over."

Castle nodded again. Time, it was always about time.

* * *

Kate's hand had finally quit shaking by the time she gripped the shower knob, shutting the scalding water off. Her skin was bright red, raw. It had been part cleansing, part punishment.

Stupid. She was so stupid. It was a dream, a nightmare, and she had thought it was real. That look on his face; in his eyes. He had been scared of her. They all had.

She jumped as someone tapped on the door to the bathroom.

"Kate, sweetie."

Kate closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath. Martha.

"I brought you some clothes. I'll just leave them out here for you. They are Alexis's but they should fit. We'll go out and get you some more stuff after breakfast."

Kate's eyes fluttered closed as she stood dripping in the tub, the cool air causing goose bumps to form on her exposed skin.

_We'll go out…"_

It was like nothing had happened at all. She wrapped the towel around her body and stepped onto the fluffy charcoal grey bathmat, her toes automatically wiggling into the soft surface.

She opened the door slowly, only a crack so she could see out. When she determined that the coast was clear, her arm darted out and snagged the shirt and pants from the ground, one of her pairs of plain white prison issue underwear and sports bra lay on top. Her nose crinkled when she smelled them. They still smelled like bleach: sterile, utilitarian. She pulled them on quickly, yanking the pants up her legs, shrugging the shirt on over her shoulders. Martha was right, she did need to feel human again, but she didn't need them to suffer for her to do it.

She needed to leave, that's what she needed, what they all needed.

She walked to the office, her head down once she was dressed. The box with her meager possessions was still there. She would go to the bank and access her account from before she had been locked up. She didn't even know how much was in it but it should be enough for her to find a place to live and get her life started again; her life, on her own, where no one could get hurt because her inner demons were threatening to burst out.

"What are you doing?"

Kate riffled through the box, searching for the wallet she knew was in there somewhere— her driver's license and social security card. "I'm leaving."

"Kate."

She shook her head. "I could have killed you."

"I'm fine, Kate. Look at me."

She shook her head again, still bent over the box, her hand digging down to the bottom. "No."

He let out an exasperated huff and reached out to grip her shoulders, turning her to face him. "Kate, look at me."

She raised her chin slowly; her watery eyes meeting his resolved ones. "Please, don't go. Look…"

He tilted his head to the side, stretching his neck for her to see. "I'm fine, no damage done. Okay?"

Kate started shaking her head again, a skeptical look painted across her face.

"How about just until after the holidays?" Castle bargained again before she could get a word out. "No one should be alone on Christmas. Besides I've already bought your present, it would be a shame to waste it."

Kate sighed, her head dropping again as she nodded reluctantly in agreement, hearing Castle's sigh of relief as he pulled her into another warm hug, her body pressed snugly against his. She allowed herself to deflate into him, her arms curling around his back.

She would stay, for now.

"And don't worry," he murmured against her head. "I've learned my lesson, you don't like to be awoken before nine. There's no need to make death threats."

Kate let out an involuntary laugh, the puff of warm air brushing against his arm.

"Oh, and a laugh. It is starting to feel a lot like Christmas. Tomorrow I'm shooting for a giggle, complete the triad. Now, come on, my mother is cooking breakfast and as much as I appreciate the effort, I am not suffering through this alone."

Kate nodded, rolling her eyes as she wiped the moisture from them. She never cried this much, seriously. She turned to exit the office after him only to freeze steps from the door.

Christmas presents.

"Kate? What's wrong?"

She forced a smile across her face, shaking her head. "Nothing, I'm fine, just thinking about some of the things I have to do."

Castle shot her a skeptical look but only nodded in reply, turning back towards the kitchen.

Kate blew out a puff of air. She really had to get by the bank. After all, what did you get the guy who got you out of prison?

* * *

Kate's leg shook as she sat in the chair facing the bank manager's desk. He had been for a long time. This had been a bad idea. She should have waited until she was more put together, in clothes that fit. They had looked at her like she was insane when she had walked in with her story. A framed ex-con walks into a bank. There was a joke in there somewhere. Her driver's license was expired, her social security card frayed. It had taken the bank manager taking over for one of the tellers to even listen to what she was saying. Now, she sat, alone in the glass walled office. Castle, Martha and Alexis were sitting at a coffee shop across the street waiting for her. Castle had volunteered to come with her but she had hastily declined. She had to do this for herself, begin to stand on her own two feet. Besides, what was a little humiliation in the whole scheme of things?

She let out a sigh, rubbing her hand over her forehead. Alexis had been silent when she finally came out of her room for breakfast, shooting glares at Kate across the table. The girl had insisted on coming with them today, clinging to her father's arm when they left the apartment. To Kate the message was clear: I'm not leaving you alone with my father. Castle had shot his daughter a skeptical look but only shrugged it off as Martha took Kate by the arm and led her down the sidewalk, chattering on about random topics. Kate couldn't help but smile at the older woman. She could definitely see where Castle had inherited his charm.

"Ms. Beckett, I'm sorry to keep you waiting," the manager stating, announcing his entrance into the room. "I think we have everything worked out now. There are two accounts and a trust fund here in your name."

Kate's eyebrow's raised to her hairline. "Excuse me?"

The manager glanced up from the file in his hands, chuckling at her look of disbelief. "Well, there is a small checking account, which I'm assuming was the one you opened yourself and an account that was left to you by your father's estate. That money was transferred into a high-interest savings account for you and then there is a trust fund which your… mother… opened for you when you were born which wasn't available to you until your twenty-fifth birthday."

He placed the file down in front of her and her eyes grew wide as they roamed over the three highlighted numbers, taking in the amounts. Her mouth formed an 'O' in disbelief. That was a lot of money…

* * *

A/N2: If you would like to hear about my crazy writing process, rather sarcastic comments & random musings about my mundane life you can also follow me on Twitter: aspen_musing :)

Until next time...


	14. Chapter 14

Unwritten

A/N: If you didn't know by now that I am in awe of all the love for this story, I am, so thank you. And seriously, I am grateful for all the encouraging comments and constructive criticism. I know there are some questions I still need to answer from reviews and I will get to them soon. :)

Disclaimer: AWM does a much better job than I ever could. Kudos to him for creating a fantastic canvas for us to play on. Once again flew Beta free (all my love for my betas though, they are more than amazing) :)

* * *

Chapter 14

"Take these... oh and these... oh, and you must try on this."

Kate shot a pleading look over her shoulder as Martha threw another article of clothing onto the pile cradled in Kate's arms. Castle merely shrugged in reply as he grinned back at her before falling back into the conversation he had been having with Alexis.

They had already been to the hair salon, nail salon and to get make-up and Kate had to admit that she was already feeling better or more human as Martha would say. She had been mostly silent through the entire experience, especially since she had absolutely no insight into the pop culture topics that the stylist had wanted to talk about.

_The woman was chattering on about the latest Twilight movie. She was incensed about how "KStew" could do that to Robert and Kate could only hum in reply, completely lost on who "KStew" was and what had happened. Then she giggled over how she and her friends were reading some book about different colors of grey and Kate had found her mind wandering over to the small family sitting in the lobby waiting for her. The woman made a 'tsk' when she had seen the hack job at the end of her hair. To which Kate had simply replied 'gum'._

Castle stopped midsentence when she had walked back over to them, freshly layered hair and long bangs framing her face. The woman had taken the liberty to color her hair too, giving her highlights. She didn't even recognize herself when the stylist, Clarissa, spun her back around to look in the mirror and her heart began to pound in her chest as Castle's eyes settled on her.

"Is it awful? I told her to just do whatever she thought was best, I haven't gotten a haircut in a long time, and I've never had highlights before and well, she said she knew what she was doing but..."

"Kate," Castle interrupted as he rose from his chair, his hands coming out to run down her arms. "It looks great."

The rest of her babbling statement died on her lips as she drew her lower lip between her teeth, giving him a shy smile in reply. "Thank you."

_Their eyes locked and Castle smiled at her in reply as his hands continued rub her arms soothingly. _

_A throat cleared and the two sprung apart as Martha and Alexis both rose from their seats, the younger redhead crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Kate from behind Castle. Martha glanced between the pair skeptically before pasting a smile onto her face and wrapping an arm around Kate's shoulders, leading her from the shop. _

_"Well, now that your hair is done let's head on out, pardon the pun, and get those nails looked at, after that we will hit up he cosmetics counter at Macy's, not that you need the make-up, you are gorgeous just the way you are but it may help you in the confidence department and well you have some big events coming up, and then last, but definitely not least, get you some clothes," Martha planned as she ushered the group out. "Oh, Kate dear, I forgot to ask, what kind of a budget are we working with here?"_

Kate hesitated, her eyes darting between the three others, unsure of how to reply.

"Oh, now, I'm not asking to be nosy. I simply don't want to take you to any stores you can't afford," Martha continued, sensing her hesitation.

"Don't worry, Martha," Kate finally explained, her eyes swiveling to meet Castle's, her bottom lip drawn between her teeth as she paused. "There is no budget."

Her eyes drifted to the latest pair of jeans that Martha had handed her. They were electric green "skinny jeans" and Kate blanched. They were awful.

"Neon is "in" now," Castle whispered in her ear as he came up behind her surveying the pile in her arms.

"Why?" She questioned back, juggling the pile so she could swipe the pants off the top and hide them in a random rack as they passed by it, attempting to keep up with the older redhead.

Castle shrugged. "Because the '80s are back."

Kate pressed her lips together to suppress her laughter as Martha flung another shirt at her and she deftly plucked it off the pile and hung it back on the rack. "I repeat, why?"

"Because fashion gurus like to see what they can make people wear and then sit back and laugh at them."

Kate bit her lip again, choking back a laugh, letting out a strangled snort followed by a cough instead, causing Castle to snicker in response. Martha turned around to look at them, eyeing them skeptically as they both school their features into innocent, wide-eyed expressions. Alexis merely rolled her eyes from her place behind the couple.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Kate lifted her head to see Castle's freshly manicured toes on the floor next to her shoulder.

She smirked as they wiggled, burrowing into the plush carpet before resurfacing and repeating the process. All four of them had sat, side-by-side in the massaging chairs as the pedicurists worked on their feet. Castle had sat down without a second thought, rolling up his jeans, hissing as his feet sunk into the hot water, before settling back into the chair. He had just shrugged at her questioning smirk. 'It's called a MAN-icure for a reason.' was his only explanation and her eyes rolled in response. Apparently this was a normal occurrence.

"I'm looking at the lights," she replied, letting her head fall back to the floor, staring up at the bottom of the Christmas tree.

"From down below?" He questioned skeptically but he was already moving to lie at her side, wiggling his body until his head was next to hers under the branches.

"Wow," he whispered as he stared up at the lights twinkling between the branches. "This is beautiful."

She hummed in response, and they fell into silence as they stared up. Kate's eyes fluttered closed. The lights had always had a calming sensation over her, ever since her father had shown her how to do this when she was a little girl.

"It was so loud today."

Castle turned his head to look at her, his eyes searching the side of her face as she continued to stare straight up. "The city?"

She nodded her head slightly, her eyes never leaving the branches. "Everyone was moving so fast, the horns honking, people rushing past talking on their mobile phones. It was so weird, almost no one had phones when I went away, now everyone has them and they are on them constantly, and they are listening to music players that fit in their pockets…"

"iPods."

"Yeah, iPods, and people are on the Internet on their phones and there is 'wifi' everywhere. You remember the last thing I remember, Castle? Dial-up internet. You remember that screechy sound on AOL, yeah, that's it. And Brad Pitt is married to Angelina Jolie, really? And they have like ten kids and we have a black president and we are at war in the Middle East. Your mother made me try on something called 'jeggings'. I'm pretty sure Starbucks has taken over the world; I mean there is seriously one on _every_ corner. Oh, and I've been meaning to ask you, what exactly is a 'KStew' because I've heard like five people talking about her today and who would name their child that?"

Castle let out a laugh, a hand coming up to rub over his face.

"It's not funny." Kate huffed even as a smile spread across her face. She took in a tiny gasp as she felt the brush of Castle's hand and he threaded his fingers through hers, letting their joined hands rest between their bodies.

"First of all," Castle started after a moment. "'KStew' is Kristin Stewart. She's an actress, made big by the 'Twilight' movies, and people are still mad at her because she cheated on Robert Pattinson, who was one of the other stars of the movies, months ago. Oh, and Brad and Angelina are known as 'Brangelina'. Celebrity couple names, it's a thing."

"Brangelina, really?"

"Yeah, you take the two people's names and smash them together, or in the case of one celebrity, you just take the first letter of their first name and part of their last name and change it into a nickname, for example, KStew or JLo for Jennifer Lopez, and yours would be… KBecks… Ooo, KBecks I like the sound of that, very kickass."

Kate huffed out a forced laugh, her head shaking against the carpet. "It's just so much, Castle and people keep asking me what I do and where I'm from and I can't tell them that I have been in prison for the last ten years because then I will have to explain that I was framed but they won't believe me. I just feel like I've been dumped into this world that I know nothing about. So much has changed in the last ten years."

His fingers squeezed hers, and she forced herself not to roll over and nuzzle into his side even though her arm ached to wrap around him and never let go. She was stronger than this, than crying because she didn't understand the signs that told her to follow a company on Twitter.

"Don't worry," he whispered, his voice low and soothing. "We'll get you caught up on everything, even some of the things I'm sure you are better off not knowing about, like for example, Kim Kardashian."

Kate let out a sigh, her free hand coming up to rub her forehead, rolling her head from side to side. Her shoulders were tense from stress. Who knew getting out of prison would stress her out more than being in a cell.

"Have you considered talking to someone?"

Kate's head turned to look at Castle who was mirroring her posture, his head turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean a psychologist, you've been through a lot, Kate. It might help."

She let out a resigned sigh, turning back to look up at the lights. "Yeah, I'll think about it."

Castle squeezed her fingers again and she turned to give him a sad smile.

"Come on," he ordered, scooting out from under the tree, releasing her hand to pushing himself off of the ground.

She briefly mourned the loss of contact, her fingers suddenly cold, before moving herself, wiggling out from under the tree to find him standing there with his arms stretched waiting to help her up.

"You look beautiful, you know," he stated, his voice still low, as he pulled her up to stand next to him, their bodies so close they were almost touching.

She could feel the blush rising up her neck and coloring her cheeks and the tips of her ears. The woman in Macy's had insisted on doing her make-up before she left. With her face done, her new hair and new clothes Kate had stared at the woman in the mirror and had barely recognized herself, but had to admit the woman staring back at her was kind of hot.

She blinked, stepping back as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, her fist curling around the end of the strands for a moment as her gaze dropped to the ground. "Thank you."

Her eyes darted back up as Castle cleared his throat and took a step back as well, his eyes wandering around, looking for something.

"Oh, there it is," he muttered and he reached behind the tree, pulling out a medium sized box with a triumphant laugh. "I saved it for you."

"What?" Kate asked; her curiosity peaked as she stepped up to look over his shoulder.

He turned around with a flourish a large gold star in his grasp. Kate couldn't help but smile as she saw the excitement glittering in his eyes.

"You saved it for me?"

"Yep, I had faith that we would get you out before Christmas. I figured you would want to do this."

"Thanks, Castle," Kate replied, her hand reaching out to carefully grasp the large ornament. "That's really sweet."

"Come on," Castle said again, not even attempting to cover the eagerness in his voice, pulling the coffee table over for her to stand on. "I'll help you put it up."

Kate shook her head, laughing, as she stepped carefully onto the wooden table, her bare toes now painted bright green at Castle's insistence, curling around the edge as she leaned over to place the star on the sprig sticking up from the top of the tree. Castle's arm snaked up to wrap around her hip holding her in place and she sucked in a breath, almost loosing her balance at the feel of his warm her side. He chuckled in response and she reached down to flick his ear in retaliation, her retort dying on her lips as a throat cleared behind them.

The two turned around to see Alexis leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over her chest, Castle's phone in her grasp. Kate's mouth snapped shut, as she took a step to the side, out of Castle's reach, silently mourning the loss of contact and stepped down off of the table.

"Hey, Alexis, what's up?" Castle took a couple steps towards his daughter a smile on his face.

"Gina called, wanted to remind you about your date tonight. She said she would be here in an hour," Alexis answered, her eyes darting to Kate, who had frozen in her spot, her eyes darting between her and her father.

"Oh, yeah, thanks for the reminder, I should probably go get ready."

Castle turned to look back at Kate, the apology written in his eyes. "My new editor at Black Pawn, she said we needed some publicity for the book so she wanted to take me to a Christmas party tonight. I completely forgot. You'll be okay here?"

Kate ducked her head, nodding before rising her eyes back up to meet his and force a smile onto her face. "Of course, I'll be fine. I'm a big girl, Castle. I don't need you to hold my hand all the time."

Castle gave her another smile before turning towards his room, calling to Alexis over his shoulder, asking about his red tie. Alexis gave Kate a smirk before following her father into his room, telling him that it should be in the back of the closet on the tie rack.

Kate sunk down onto the couch, disappointment gnawing at her gut as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She threaded her fingers through her hair, digging her freshly manicured nails into her skull and stared at the twinkling lights, no longer comforted by them. Her eyes fluttered closed, shaking her head at her own stupidity. Of course he had a date.

* * *

A/N: Once again, I am going to go... over there... and hide...


	15. Chapter 15

Unwritten

A/N: So, how did everyone enjoy "After the Storm"? I know, stupid question right? I won't say anything in case anyone hasn't seen it yet but I was definitely pleased. I was going to make this chapter longer but I decided to split it into two instead, so it is a little shorter than I originally intended but I hope you enjoy anyway.

To my betas: Thank you Nic for your continuing support and flails and for putting my insecure mind at ease. Thank you to Kate for keeping me from drifting. ;)

Disclaimer: Thank you to AWM for keeping the magic alive. Unicorns, mermaids and all. ;)

* * *

Chapter 15

"I get it, you know."

Kate pushed herself off of the doorframe and padded quietly into Alexis' room, sinking down on the foot of the bed.

Alexis sighed from her place curled up at the head, book lying open in her lap. "You get what?"

"Why you're acting like this," Kate replied. She swiveled around in her spot so she could prop one leg on the mattress, her fingers playing in her lap. "You want to protect your Dad, I get it."

Alexis let out a huff as she snapped the book shut and crossed her arms over her chest. "You don't know anything."

Kate let out a laugh, shaking her head. "I know more than you could possibly imagine. I wasn't some naïve kid that stumbled across some information. I knew what I was doing. I knew why I was being framed but I went along with it _to protect my father._"

Kate paused, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she rolled her eyes at herself, at the situation. After all, hindsight was twenty-twenty. "They told me they would kill him if I didn't do what they said, if I didn't stay quiet, so you know what? I gave up ten years of my life to save my father's. So, yeah, I get it. And I am sorry _so sorry_ that your father got hurt. I never meant for it to happen. If I had known about you from the start, that he had a kid, I would never have put him in that situation. I know what it is like to lose a parent, and I would never want you to have to go through that. But it was his choice to do this, he knew the possible consequences, _I told him, _and he decided to do this anyway. So, go ahead, be mad, roll your eyes, makes faces but don't go fooling yourself into believing that you are going to scare me away or that your father is blameless. He's the one person who has believed in me, and I'm not going to give that up because you feel the need to act like a twelve year old. And as for your father being worse off since he met me? Look at him. Actually look. Because that man is so much happier than the one who came looking for me in the prison that first day."

Alexis' eyes fell to her lap and Kate pushed herself off of the bed with a sigh. "Talk to your father."

She wandered out of the bedroom and into the office, leaning back against the edge of the desk to look at the white board, which was now completely covered in papers and pictures. She leaned back, her arms reaching out to support her, startling as something fell to the floor. Slowly she leaned over and picked up the folder that had fallen, the material that Castle was using to keep her safe, keep them all safe. She flipped through it slowly, settling into his chair behind the desk.

It was there; it was all there: the names of the people who were behind all of this. Her fingers ran over the photocopied pages. So close, they were so close. She could settle it once and for all. She could just do what they had accused her of in the first place, put a bullet in a man's brain and it would be over. Once and for all…

She slapped the folder closed with a sigh, her hands coming up to run through her hair as she sat with her elbows on the desk, head hanging. Her eyes drifted over to a picture in the corner, Castle's grinning face stared back at her. Martha and Alexis smiled back at her as well from either side of the writer. She reached out, picking up the frame to hold it in front of her face. Slowly she ran a finger down the glass, tracing the line of Castle's brow, his nose, down and over his grinning lips. They looked so happy, that little family.

Her eyes fluttered shut again.

_Beckett, I can tell you this right now. That man won't stop. Ever._

She couldn't do that, not to him. She wouldn't survive if she went back to prison, she would be dead before the case went to trial. She would make sure of that but Castle would never forgive her or himself.

_He worked too hard to get you out._

She let out a sigh, placing the frame back on the table and pushing the file under a stack of papers, hiding it from sight.

She would never forgive herself. She wasn't a killer.

Her eyes wandered to the thick booklet of pages to her left, her hand taking a detour from putting the photo back to pick it up. Her fingers ran over the cover page gently, tracing the small print.

_Overturned: Rewriting a Family's Tragedy_

It was her story.

She debated, glancing around the silent room before picking up the manuscript bound by only shiny gold clasps. She moved to push herself out of the chair.

Sinking onto the pillow-top window seat, she placed the box on her bent knees. Her eyes flicked momentarily to the clock on the opposite wall before she shook her head, refocusing on the pages cradled in her lap. Castle had been gone two hours, having rushed out the door when Gina had called to tell him she and the limo were waiting downstairs. She had forced herself not to roll her eyes out of petty jealousy. _A limo_. She had no right to be jealous, though. It wasn't as though she had a stake on him or any right to him whatsoever. He was… a friend… That was all.

Martha had flittered out the door right before Castle left, and Alexis had retired to her room once the door snicked shut. But Kate had wandered over to the bay window and watched as he had kissed the blonde woman on the cheek before sliding into the limo, champagne flute securely in hand. She hadn't needed to see his face to know that he was grinning from ear to ear.

Kate shook her head as she ran her hand over the cover page one more time. Stupid. She was stupid to think that even he would be interested in someone as damaged as her.

_But there's a connection there. You've felt it._

She flipped open the first page, careful not to crease it as her eyes settled on the dedication.

_For the extraordinary KB, your mother would be proud._

Her hand came up to cover her mouth as she choked back a sob, tears running down her face. She leaned back against the wall, her eyes drifting up to the starless sky.

She had searched for the truth, the one thing her mother had always believed in, and she had found it. Her mother _would _be proud. She had done it. She had won.

Her eyes drifted back to the page in front of her and she took in a deep breath, flipping to chapter one.

_Johanna Beckett_

She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the eyes that flickered between blue, green and hazel, the long brown hair and earthy scented perfume. She remembered the feel of her mother's arms wrapped around her when she was sick, and how she would rest her head in her mother's lap after she had had a nightmare. Her eyes opened again and she began to read.

* * *

She was running through the alley. They were chasing her, so many of them. She could see her mother up ahead and she screamed at her to run but Johanna just stood still.

Kate raced past, her chest heaving. She could feel them getting closer. She yelled again.

_Run, Mom, run._

But Johanna was sliding down the wall, a knife protruding from her chest. Kate screamed, turning back towards her, but the horde was coming faster now. Their knives morphed into machetes.

Kate flew through a door at the end of the alley, gasping for breath as she turned in a slow circle in the dark room. A spotlight clicked on, flooding the center of the room with a circle of white. Castle stood in the middle. He called for her, but she couldn't understand him. He was too far away, but he was smiling, beckoning her to come closer.

She smiled in response as she ran through the warehouse, her feet feeling heavier with every step. She could make it; she had to.

"Castle!" She called as she sped closer. "I'm coming!"

But he was moving further and further away. Suddenly the horde was back, and Kate screamed, watching as the knife glinted in the light, wrapping around Castle's neck and slitting his throat.

"NO!" Kate gasped as she jerked awake, her heart pounding in her chest.

She groaned as she rubbed a hand down the side of her face where it had been pressing against the glass. She had fallen asleep on the window seat, the book open on her lap. Stumbling slightly, she slid off of the bench. Her legs felt like jelly when her feet landed on the floor, and her knees buckled across the living room towards the hall.

"Castle?" She called quietly as she knocked on his door. She had to make sure he was all right, that he was lying in his bed sleeping peacefully. "Castle? Are you there?"

When she got no answer she turned the knob slowly, pushing the door open. It creaked slightly and she froze. There was no sound from the other side. She poked her head in, eyes scanning the pitch-black room. The bed was still made.

Her hand slipped from the doorknob. Her heart clenched in her chest and she slid down the wall. She gasped for breath. He wasn't there.

She couldn't breathe. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she pressed the heel of her hand to her chest. Tears streamed down her face. He wasn't there.

* * *

Alexis set her book down on her nightstand and let out a sigh as she slid to sit on the edge of the bed. She hadn't been able to focus on her novel in the hours since Kate had talked with her. _At her. _She let out a huff. Who did she think she was? Her mother? Her friend? She had no right to tell her how her father was doing or who was to blame.

For eighteen years she was all her father had needed to be happy. He had told her that. Women had come and gone out of his life, and in some instances, in and out of hers, but the two of them had always remained. They were the constant in the equation. And every time they had been stronger in the end.

_But isn't he better?_

She shook her head at her own thoughts but her mind kept wandering. The bottle of scotch in the office had stayed full for the past two months, not a drop gone. He hadn't gone out with random women. His eyes sparkled again when he talked about writing.

He was doing better.

She rubbed her temples, shaking her head from side to side. Slowly, she pushed herself off the bed and padded toward the door, stretching her arms over her head as she went. She needed a drink of water or tea or something stronger.

She heard the sniffling the moment she opened her door, and she stuck her head out into the hall hesitantly. Kate sat slumped against her father's door; one arm reached up to clutch the knob, the other hand pressed against her chest.

Alexis could feel her heart begin to race.

"Kate?"

"He's not here. He died. He wasn't supposed to die and he isn't here and I told him to run but he didn't and he's not here…"

Alexis' head whipped around as she looked desperately towards her grandmother's room but Martha hadn't come home. She had texted to tell Alexis that she wouldn't be home until morning.

"My Dad? He's not here?"

"No." Kate's head shook back and forth against the wooden door as she continued to stare straight ahead, not blinking. "No. He should be here and he's not and I watched them kill him and I know it wasn't real but I need to know that he's okay but he's not in bed and I fell asleep…"

"You had a dream," Alexis felt the relief spread through her chest. She had had a dream where he had died.

Kate nodded, her movements rapid and jerking as she gasped for breath once again.

"He'll be home soon. It's not even midnight yet," Alexis reasoned softly as she rocked from foot to foot. Her mind raced, thinking of things to do, to say. Her internal battle raged: one part of her telling her to just keep walking to the kitchen and ignore the woman having a breakdown in the hall, the other screaming at her to do something. She wasn't this person who ignored another person's pain, who turned off her emotions. Her father had always told her that was one of the things he loved most about her: her big heart.

Kate nodded her head again as she sniffled in a breath. "Soon."

Alexis shifted again, her hand bunched in her pajama pants, twisting the loose fabric into a knot with her stiff fingers. Kate wasn't moving. Her eyes hadn't left the small dent in the wall she had been staring at— the same spot where Alexis' Laser Tag gun had caused a chip in the paint during a particularly intense game a couple of years before. Kate was having a panic attack.

_Think, Alexis, think. _

She felt her heart clench in her chest.

"Call him," she blurted out finally. "We can call him. Hold on, I'll get my phone."

Alexis ran into her room, her hands shaking as she disconnected the phone from the charger, rushing back into the hall. She sank down to the floor next to Kate, fingers fumbling as she worked the lock on the touch screen and scrolled to her recent calls. "He'll have his phone on him, even at the party. Chances are he'll be happy for the interruption. He hates stuff like this."

Her eyes flickered up but Kate was still frozen, the heel of her hand pressed hard against her sternum, the knuckles on the other hand turning white with the strength of her hold on the doorknob. Her lips moved silently, too rapidly for Alexis to make out the words.

She pressed the 'speaker' button and listened as the phone rang through the quiet apartment, silently begging for her father to pick up.

Her eyes found Kate again when it clicked over to voicemail, and Kate sniffled beside her again, her eyes drifting closed around her tears.

"We'll try again. He probably just didn't hear it," Alexis reasoned as she pressed the redial button.

The rings seemed to grow further apart and she was begging aloud by the time it rang the fourth time. She was about to give up when she heard the phone click over and the sound of raucous laughter come from the other end.

"Alexis? Hey sweetheart, what's up?"

"Dad," Alexis sighed in relief, deflating against the wall when she heard her father's cheerful voice. She hadn't wanted to acknowledge her own anxiety, brought on by Kate's dream, until that moment. He was okay. "Thank God you answered. Kate's having a panic attack."

"What do you mean?" Castle's voice grew concerned through the speaker and Alexis could hear the background noise drift away.

"She had a dream that you died, and I think she just needs to talk to you," Alexis explained, her eyes landing on the woman sitting next to her.

"Okay, put me on with her."

"You're on speaker."

"Kate? Can you hear me?"

"Castle?" Kate's voice was soft but Alexis could see and hear her relief as the other woman's body relaxed into the wall, her hand releasing its vice grip on the knob and sinking down to lay at her side. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, Kate, I'm fine," Castle's voice was soft, low. It was the same voice he had used on Alexis whenever she had had a nightmare as a child. It was the same one he had used to soothe her when she had broken up with her first boyfriend and when her mother had cancelled trips at the last minute. "You want to tell me what happened?"

"No." Kate shifted in her spot, her hands coming up to cover her face. "I'm sorry, go enjoy your party. I'm fine."

"Kate…"

"Go back to your date, Castle." Alexis could hear the embarrassment in her voice, the resignation. "I just needed to know you were okay."

Castle sighed from other end of the phone. "I'll be home soon."

Kate nodded, and Alexis stepped in when it was apparent she wasn't going to say any more. "Thanks Dad, we'll see you soon."

She hung up the phone and pushed herself off of the floor. She took a step toward the kitchen before hesitating and turning back to Kate, who was still sitting on the floor, her legs now drawn up in front of her, cross-legged, fingers fumbling together in her lap. "Do you want some tea?"

Kate's eyes, red-rimmed and puffy, rose up to meet hers. She sucked in a breath, holding it for a long moment before releasing it, letting it trail slowly from her parted lips. "Yeah, actually that would be nice… I'm sorry."

Alexis shook her head. "No, I'm the one that's sorry."

She was shocked to find that she actually meant it. She truly was sorry, because Kate was right, she didn't know what was going on, she didn't know the whole story. But now she was willing to find out.


	16. Chapter 16

Unwritten 

A/N: Thank you as always to my beautiful & brilliant betas. You are wonderful.

Disclaimer: AWM's got this thing on lock.

* * *

Chapter 16

Kate stared down into her cold cup of tea, listening as the door to Alexis' room slipped shut. The girl had sat with her for an hour, the majority of the time spent in silence. It was embarrassing, being overcome with a flood of emotion so strong that she couldn't control herself. The panic flaring in her chest, the steady rise of her heartbeat, the silvery white stars and wiggly lines she saw dancing in front of her eyes. The inability to breathe. She couldn't think when it happened. There were only images flashing in her mind's eye, forcing her to believe they were true.

She flexed her hand. Stretching out her fingers as far as they would go. She didn't have full mobility yet but it was getting better. She had been lucky; it was only a fracture and not completely crushed when the woman in the cellblock had stomped down on it. A strange part of her wished she were back there now, safe from the outside world behind the barbwire fences and wrought iron gates.

There had been different kinds of dangers in prison: physical ones, ones she could defend herself against if she tried. Out here there were different ones. There was no structure, no guards, no lockdown time. There was no schedule, no one to tell her what to do.

Freedom. Terrifying.

She lifted the ceramic mug to her lips again, wincing as she sipped the cold liquid. Her hands were still cupped around it clinging to the phantom warmth.

She startled as the lock turned and the door slipped open, her eyes snapping towards the entry.

"Hey," Castle greeted with a slight wave of his hand, the button on his collar popped and his tie loosened.

"Hi." Kate forced herself not to duck her head, her eyes glued to him as he trudged into the room and plopped into the chair Alexis had vacated only moments before. "How was the party?"

"Good." Castle bobbed his head as he ran a hand through his hair.

"How was your date?" Kate pressed, mentally chastising herself for the twinge of jealousy bubbling up within her.

Castle's eyes flickered up, searching hers before focusing back on his finger tracing patterns in the tabletop. "Gina was very nice. Smart, funny. We get along well."

Kate swallowed the thick knot growing in her throat. "Good, that's great. You deserve someone like that."

Her good hand gripped the mug a little tighter and she pushed herself out of her seat. "I, um, I should go to sleep since you are here and I know you are safe."

"Kate…" Castle protested, pushing himself half out of his chair.

"It's late, Castle," She finally allowed her eyes to drop, studying her vacated seat as she spoke. "I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have called you like that. I hope I didn't ruin anything."

"Kate…" Castle tried again, watching as she poured the remainder of her drink down the drain before scrubbing out the cup with measured movements. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She shot him a tired smile as she wiped her hands dry on the towel hanging from the cabinet. "I'm fine, Castle. Just tired."

He nodded again, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Sure, sure. It's been a long day. Um, good night. Sleep well, let me know if you need anything, okay?"

Kate gripped the edge of the counter, staring down at the granite surface as she nodded stiffly in reply. "Yeah."

"Okay," Castle closed as he stepped towards his bedroom.

"Castle?" Kate lifted her head, calling after him just as his hand closed around the knob.

"Yeah?" His eyes met hers once more, searching them from across the room.

"I, um, I read the book. I like it. Thank you, for the dedication. It's really sweet. Hopefully one day it's true."

"Kate…" Castle's hand slipped from the knob as he took a step back towards the kitchen. "It is true. Your mother would be proud of you. You fought and you came out on top."

"Did I Castle? Really? Is this what she would have wanted for me? To spend ten years in prison only to come out of it with PTSD, a dead father and a half dead soul? She wouldn't be proud of me. She would be ashamed. All she wanted for me was to live my life and be happy."

He was standing across from her now, the counter in between them. "You have nothing to be ashamed of Kate. You survived. And yes, your mother would want you to live your life and be happy, so do it. You can do anything now. What do you want?"

"I want the last ten years of my life back, I want my parents to be alive, I want to walk down the street and not be looking over my shoulder." Kate ranted, her hand ripping through her hair. "I want to look at common household objects and not know how to turn them into weapons, I want to have dreams at night and not nightmares."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks as the words continued to spill from her mouth, the filter gone. "I don't want to know what it feels like to get beaten half to death. I don't want to be broken, Castle."

"You're not broken," Castle soothed, taking a step around the counter and into the harsh florescent light of the kitchen. "A little fractured, maybe, but it's nothing that won't heal in time."

Kate let out a snort at his attempted humor. "You're not funny, you know."

"Yes I am," his lips quirking up into a half smile as he took another step towards her, his hands reaching out to run down arms, grabbing hold of her finger tips. He stooped slightly so their heads were almost touching. "You're going to be fine, Kate. You're strong. You'll get through this. We'll get through this."

Kate shook her head, taking a step back, their hands still joined. "You don't have to do this with me. I'm too far gone, Castle. It's going to take a miracle to get me back to how I was before. I wouldn't ask you to go through that with me. Besides, Gina might have different plans for you."

Kate closed her eyes, instantly regretting the slight dig.

"I'm not interested in Gina and I'm not saying you have to go back to how you were before, Kate, that's not possible for anyone," Castle countered, taking another step towards her, his voice low. "I'm just saying that your life isn't over and you deserve to live it, so live. Tell me, what do you want? Not what you regret. Not what you wish you had done differently. In this moment, right now, what do you want?"

She raised her eyes, her heart hammering in her chest, echoing in her ears as misty green eyes met crystal blue, the connection so intense in that single moment, electricity passing through their touch. "You, Castle, I want you."

She watched in slow motion as his breath hitched in his chest, pupils dilating in the bright light and his head lowered towards hers. Then she was surging up, her body crashing into him; her lips met his. One hand cupping the back of her head, tangling in her hair, while his other wrapped around the small of her back, dragging her body tightly against his. Her arms wrapped around the back of his neck as the tip of her tongue flicked gently against his lips seeking entrance.

The sound of a moan filled the air and Kate gasped as her body was propelled backwards, her back hitting the counter and his hands at her waist, lifting her up.

"Cas…" She moaned, breathless as his lips found her neck, and moved down towards her collar with a series of nips, licks and kisses. "Castle, Alexis is here."

Castle froze, his lips resting against the curve of her neck, his breath hot and moist against her oversensitive skin. He took a slow step back, his hands slipping from under her shirt, letting the bunched material fall back into place. She shivered at the loss of contact as his placed one last feather of a kiss against her skin before lifting his head to look at her, at their position. "Kate, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

Kate shook her head in response, her hand reaching out to cup his chin and lift his head so she could see in his eyes. "Why? I'm not."

His eyes met hers, startled, as she brushed her thumb over his slightly swollen lips.

"I was just saying," she continued, her voice low. "That your daughter is in the other room so we might want to take this somewhere more private."

"You sure?" Castle whispered in response, his hands wandering back to her waist, fingers working back under her shirt to brush against her bare skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"I'm sure," she replied, her forehead leaning down to rest against his. "Help me remember how to live, Castle."

He nodded as he tilted his head back up to meet her lips with his, his arms wrapping around her waist. She let out a surprised squeak as he pulled her forward off the counter and her legs wrapped around him, ankles locking as he carried her towards his bedroom, the door slipping shut behind them.

* * *

Kate stared at the man lying next to her, her fingers brushing gently over the wisps of hair that fell over his forehead while he slept. Her touch drifted down his face, tracing the line of his nose, the faint lines of the wrinkles under his eyes that disappeared magically in sleep, over his slightly parted lips. His breath caressing her palm as her fingers ran over the stubble that had appeared on his upper lip. Her mind drifted back to the hours before as she watched him, his arm curled around her waist, fingers splayed over her bare side.

The way his fingers had whispered over her skin as he had lain beside her, studying her body, battered, bruised and scarred, the sheets and blankets bunched in a heap at the foot of the king sized bed.

How they had whispered to each other in the dark, afraid that words spoken too loud would ruin the series of intimate moments.

The clear blue of his eyes as he had hovered over her, silently confirming that she was okay as she gasped.

Her fingers curled in and she ran her knuckles down his neck softly, relishing the feeling of his skin against hers. Her teeth sank into her lower lip, a smile ghosting across her face as she glanced back up at his sleeping face. His arm tightened around her middle and she wiggled slightly, snuggling her hip into his stomach as his leg hooked over hers, securing her against him.

It started as a small flutter in her chest and she took a deep breath, willing it away. But it didn't work. She could feel the anxiety start to rise in her again as his body, heavy with sleep, continued to press her into the mattress, pinning her to the bed. She closed her eyes tight, praying for her breathing to even as her hand drifted down, working to shove his leg off of her. A tear rolled down her cheek and she gritted her teeth as she flailed, her forearm hitting him in the chest as she attempted to pry his fingers from her side with her bad hand.

"Castle," she gasped. "Castle, wake up, Castle."

She forced out the words as images flashed through her mind, good swirling with the bad and her heart clenched in her chest. Tears stinging her eyes as she slammed them shut, willing for relief.

Her arm thrashed again, her fist connecting with his jaw as she struggled to relieve herself of his weight.

"Kate?" He slurred, still half asleep.

"Off, off, get off," she gasped as she pushed at his limbs.

Castle snatched back his arm, flailing slightly as he pushed himself up to sit in the bed, hair tousled, bewilderment in his eyes. Kate rolled from the bed, her chest heaving as she stood naked in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around her middle.

"Oh, God," she gasped as he ran a hand down his face.

He pulled his fingers away from his face, squinting them in the dim light, the sight of blood glistening back at him.

"I hit you," Kate wheezed as her body doubled over, her forearm pressing into her stomach.

"I'm okay, Kate, no harm done. I promise," Castle placated.

"No, no. I gotta go. I'm so…" Kate gasped as she searched the room for her clothing, shoving her legs into her pants and throwing her shirt on over her head. "I'm sorry. I can't."

She stumbled out of the room, towards the pile of bags in the corner. Castle scrambled out of the bed, hopping across the floor as he pulled his boxers up over his hips.

"Kate, wait."

"No, I can't do this, Castle. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I thought I could. I thought I could be okay and that I could be here and that everything would be normal, but it can't. It will never be normal. I've been here for two days and I've already hurt you twice and Alexis is right, I'm not good for you, you deserve more. I thought I could be that but I can't. I'm dangerous, Castle, and I have to leave before I do something worse than give you a swollen lip."

"Kate, you had a nightmare and you woke up scared, I understand. We'll figure it out, we'll find you a therapist."

"No, you don't get it. I wasn't asleep. I was fine one second and then I wasn't and I have no control over it, Castle. One day I'm going to hurt you or Martha or Alexis and I will have no control over it. I can't take that risk, I have to go."

He stood, helpless in the middle of the room as she shoved her few possessions into a large duffle bag.

"Just, at least stay here for the night, I'll sleep on the couch. We can find you a hotel in the morning," Castle reasoned, a hand running through his hair, making it stick on end.

"No," Kate shook her head as she shoved her new ID and temporary debit card into her pocket. "If I stay I won't have the will to leave in the morning."

"Then don't leave, Kate, please. I need you."

Kate froze, her head rising to look at the man begging her in the middle of the room. A tear ran down her cheek, as she took a step forward, the bag momentarily forgotten on the floor between them. She reached out brushing her thumb over his bloody lip as she shook her head in response. "You need someone who is good for you, who won't hurt you. Right now, that isn't me."

He let out a sigh as he hung his head, a hand reaching out to wrap around her waist, pulling her towards him.

"You know I'm right," she whispered as she lifted his chin with her index finger. "I need to go and figure out how to be me again."

"You can do that here where you're safe," Castle argued again and he let out a trembling sigh as she reached up, pressing her lips gently against his one last time.

"No I can't. Deep down you know that. You have the file and I have a copy. I'll make another couple copies and hide them. That will keep us both safe."

"How long?" he asked as she slipped out of his grasp and slung the strap of the duffle over her shoulder.

She made her way towards the office, pulling the box off of the desk, before turning back to him with a shrug and a sad smile. "I don't know."

He swiveled in place, watching her as she made her way around the apartment, picking up a couple of straggling belongings before heading towards the door.

"But you will be back, right?"

She paused not turning, her hand resting on the doorknob. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Kate!" He called one last time as the door snicked open. "I…"

The three-word statement dying on his lips as he watched her hover in the doorway, bed tousled hair falling down over shoulders and back.

She turned back to him with a sad smile, her chin crumbling. "I know, Castle. Me too."

She sucked in a deep breath, steadying the stuttering in her chest. "Thank you, for believing in me, for saving me. Now, let me do the same for you. Be happy Castle. Please, for me? Just do what makes you happy."

He shook his head, their eyes locked. "You make me happy. If you don't come back, I will find you. Know that."

She let go of the doorknob to swipe a tear from her cheek as she shook her head in reply. "No, you won't."

Silence echoed through the hall as the door slipped shut behind her.

Kate leaned against the back wall of the elevator as the numbers flashed down and the doors opened to the lobby. She stared at the empty hall for a long moment, not bothering to wipe away the tears that trailed down her face. The elevator dinged and her hand shot out as the door started to slide shut. With a deep breath she pushed it back open and stepped out with a renewed sense of purpose as she strode into the early morning hours of New York City, alone.

* * *

A/N: Have faith. This is far from over.


	17. Chapter 17

Unwritten

A/N: Apologies for the delay in updating but I was working in a special & yes, sexy, M addition to Chapter 16 of this story with the amazing & brilliant Kate Christie. It is called Unwritten: Breathe Me, and it can be found in Kate's profile. So go, look her up (Kate Christie), read the addition, then favorite her, follow her and tell her how much you love her and how amazing she is because she did the heavy lifting for Breathe Me and she deserves it. And while you're there just go ahead and read Prevail & Nocturne. You want to, trust me.

Disclaimer: AWM has sexy handshakes. I can't top that.

* * *

Chapter 17

"What did you say to her?"

Castle sat at the table, his robe open showing his bare chest and boxers, a cold cup of coffee cupped between his hands. Hair disheveled, eyes tired, he hadn't slept since Kate had left the apartment hours before.

Alexis stopped short in the hallway, a hand in the middle of rubbing the sleep from her eyes, a mess of red hair falling over her shoulders. "What did I say to who?"

"To Kate," Castle huffed, his hands tightening around the cup. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing. I didn't say anything to her," Alexis shook her head, eyes narrowing as she caught a better glimpse of her father's face. "What happened to your lip?"

His eyes shot up, betrayal evident in them at the lie, ignoring the question. "I never thought you would lie to me. She told me that you said something; that you were right about something; about her hurting me and now she's gone. So, just tell me what you said to her."

"Did she hit you?"

The front door clicked open but the two were too intent on each other to pay any notice.

"She didn't mean to…"

"Do you hear yourself Dad?" Alexis exploded at the words. "She didn't mean to? If a man, any man did that to me and I told you 'they didn't mean to' you would go ballistic and kill them yourself and now you are telling me that this is different, that I should just be okay with you getting beaten up and left in a storage locker, having her almost stab you and hit you?"

Castle's head snapped up as his daughter drew closer to the table, and his mother took another step into the room.

"Alexis…" he soothed. "It isn't the same."

"The hell it isn't. So you know what, I did go see her when she was in prison and I told her to stay the hell away from you and you know what I'm not sorry I did it. I'm not sorry I tried to protect you."

"Kate's gone?"

Both Castles whipped around to see Martha standing in the entry, primly dressed in yesterday's clothes.

Castle's jaw clenched at Alexis' words before his features softened and he blew out a breath, acknowledging his mother. "Yeah, she's gone. She had a _panic attack_ in the middle of the night. She accidentally hit me and freaked out afterwards because she saw me bleeding. She was afraid that she would actually hurt me one of these days, hurt one of you, so she packed her things and took off."

Martha edged into the room as Alexis sank down into one of the chairs at the table, perpendicular to her father. "Another one? Do you know where she went?"

Castle shook his head, dropping it into his hands before he pushed himself out of the chair with a huff and began pacing the room. "No. I told her to wait until morning that we would find her a hotel but she didn't want to… and now she's gone and I have no way to find her. She doesn't have a phone, she doesn't have a car…"

The words died on his lips as he slowed to a stop. "The motorcycle…"

He hurried towards his room, discarding his robe in favor of a pair of jeans and a button down.

"You don't think she would leave the city, do you?" Martha called after him as he scrambled for his phone and keys.

"I don't know. Maybe. She was pretty adamant about getting away. She would have to stop by the bank and the storage locker so that is where I am going to go."

"Dad, wait…" Alexis called, her objections dying on her lips as her father turned to look at the sadness pooling in his eyes. She shook her head with a sigh. "I'm going to come with you."

Castle made to protest but just let out a sigh instead, nodding his head in agreement as his daughter hurried towards her room to get dressed.

"You'll find her," Martha reassured, clasping her son on the shoulder.

"I hope so," Castle replied, his heart sinking in his chest. Deep down he knew they wouldn't.

* * *

Her hand ran over the strong metal body of the motorcycle, relishing the feeling of the potential power under her fingertips. She hadn't slept. She had considered getting a hotel and staying in the city but then it would have been too tempting, his apartment, the Christmas party he had bee telling her about with the detectives and medical examiner who had helped free her.

Her heart sank. She should have stayed for that, to say thank you. She shook her head. It was too late now.

Drawing in a deep breath, She swung her bag around to rest against her back and grasped the handlebars of the bike, backing it out of the locker.

It was better this way, for all of them.

Castle stood in the middle of the storage locker, turning in a slow circle, his fingers fisted in his hair. It was gone. The box she had carried with her out of the prison was sitting in the corner with the other boxes, only the purple blanket missing from the top. Letters from her father were stuffed in the side with the other random trinkets she had acquired over the past ten years.

Alexis stood at the entrance to the concrete room, eyes roaming over the random possessions, the spot on the floor where her father had been attacked, a few small brown spots of dried blood staining the floor.

"She was here a couple of hours ago," the manager drawled as he leaned, bored, against the closed locker across the hall.

Both Castles turned to look at the portly man, his round bald spot glistening with sweat in the florescent light. "You saw her?"

"Pretty, tall? Light brown hair, thin little thing— almost painfully so?"

Castle nodded eagerly, motioning for the man to go on. "Did she say anything to you? Where she was going?"

The man shook his head. "No, barely said two words to me. Showed me her ID, asked me to let her in and handed me a wad of cash to pay for the next year."

"The next year?" Castle huffed. "And you have no idea where she went?"

The manager shook his head again. "Nope. All I know is she walked the bike out of here. Probably to the service station down the road, we don't allow bikes to be stored in here if they have gas in them seeing as how they can explode and all."

Castle and Alexis exchanged a look before heading out of the locker with one last glance around the space.

* * *

She walked it down the road to the nearest gas station, the cold December air nipping at her cheeks, creeping up her sleeves to her wrists. She could feel the ghost of his fingers trailing down her arms, tracing invisible lines over her skin. A tear slid down her cheek as she pushed the Harley up to the pump, kicking down the stand so she could walk into the small convenience store.

They were staring at her when she walked in, two men with tattoos trailing down their arms and buzzed haircuts.

She wandered over to the drinks pulling out a couple bottles of water from the cooler before wandering down the aisles, collecting an assortment of snacks off the shelves. It wasn't the healthiest of food, in fact, it wasn't healthy at all but it was what she had dreamt of while in prison. The small comforts that everyone else took for granted. She reached the end of the lane and a small smile played at her lips as she reached for a package of fluffy pink, coconut covered Snowballs.

Her smile fell as quickly as it arose as she wandered closer to the checkout counter. The men were leering at her, as they leaned against the counter, talking with the attendant.

Her eyes flickered over to them, sizing them up before focusing back in on the clerk, nodding at him with a tight, closed-lipped smile.

He nodded back with a grunt of a greeting. He took the twenty from her hand for the food, his fingers lingering a second too long against hers. She drew her hand back watching as he threw it in a bag before asking for the remainder to be put towards her gas.

One of the men saddled up beside her as she spoke, edging too far into her personal space for comfort.

"That your bike?"

She nodded, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"Nice bike, pretty girl. Want to _ride_ together? We could have some fun."

"No thanks, I'm good." Kate snatched the bag off of the counter, turning back to gesture at the two men as she backed towards the door. "I'm sure you and your buddy could have some _fun_ of your own though."

She spun around pushing through the door as she hurried back towards the pump, wanting to fill up and get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Hey!"

Kate didn't turn around when she heard the man shout from behind her, his heavy footsteps pounding closer to her as she strode across the pavement. She reached into the front pocket of her black leather jacket, her fist closing around the pocketknife she had fished out of one of the boxes in the storage locker.

A beefy hand clasped down on her shoulder and she spun around, the knife at his neck. Panic swelled in her chest, pounded in her head, flared to the tips of her ears.

Stunned eyes stared back at her.

"Whatever you were planning on doing or saying right now, I would highly recommend you reconsider," she growled, the voice leaving her throat low and menacing, foreign to even her own ears.

The man stared back at her for a moment, eyes wide. He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing as he took a step back.

Kate lowered the knife, flicking it closed, watching as the man turned back toward the store before turning back toward her bike.

"Bitch."

She paused, breath shaky, hand trembling as her actions over the previous few minutes replayed in her mind.

She finished filling the tank and swung her leg over the bike, wincing at the dull ache between her thighs as they stretched. A lingering reminder of what she had chosen to leave behind. He heart stuttered in her chest as she pulled the helmet down over her head and blew out a calming breath. She couldn't do this; think about this now. She knew what she had to do. She had to go, to fix herself first, and she couldn't do that with him around. He had to be safe from the minefield.

Turning the key, the Harley roared to life. She let out a small sad smirk and aimed the bike south, away from the city.

* * *

The three men stared at them as they walked into the convenience store. Castle glanced between them hesitantly as the stared back, two of them leather clad with arms crossed over their chests, not looking all that happy to have their conversation interrupted. Zeroing in on the attendant Castle took a step forward, a charismatic smile crossing his face.

"Excuse me, kind sir," he started as he leaned across the counter. "I'm looking for a woman."

"Aren't we all," one of the men smirked, leering around Castle at Alexis.

Castle let out a forced laugh. "A specific woman. About five nine, riding a Harley. Would have been in probably about an hour or two ago. Ringing any bells?"

The attendant snorted. "Yeah, we had one crazy woman in here that fits that description."

Castle's heart sank. "What do you mean by crazy?"

"He means that that bitch pulled a knife on me."

Castle pushed himself off of the counter, drawing up to his full height. "I'm sure she had a good reason."

The man let out a snort. "Wasn't like I was askin' anything of her she wasn't willing to give. Could even smell it on her… if you got close enough. Can't blame a guy for tryin'."

The man smirked and Castle's fist clenched at his side as he took a step towards him.

"Uh oh, Joe," the second man piped up, laughter in his voice. "Looks like you just pissed off the boyfriend."

'Joe' pushed himself off the wall, sauntering closer to Castle. "What? You want to make something of it pretty boy?"

Castle's eyes flickered to the faint red line on the man's neck as Alexis caught his arm, tugging him backwards. "Nah, that's okay. Looks like she already took care of you herself."

Joe's hand shot to his neck, eyes narrowing to glare at Castle, as his friend let out a snort of laughter.

"Dad, let's go," Alexis whispered to him as Castle took a step back.

Castle nodded in agreement, pausing to address the attendant before turning back towards the door. "She say where she was headed?"

"Nah man," the attendant shook his head, peering up at Castle with bloodshot eyes. "Just bought some food, filled up her bike and headed south."

His heart sank. _South._

"Thanks," Castle shot the man a tired smile before pushing out through the door, Alexis trailing along behind him.

They sat in silence in the car as Castle steered them back towards the city. He had considered taking the interstate south but he wouldn't even know where to start looking. She was gone, now only a phantom of words in his memory, a ghost of a body in his bed, pressed up against him.

"You slept with her."

Castle sighed, forcing himself not to close his eyes, keep them on the road. His hands tightened on the wheel. "Yeah, I did."

Alexis nodded silently, turning to look out the passenger side window. "Are you in love with her?"

Castle sighed again, taking a moment to glance over at his daughter, the incredible young woman she had become. "I don't know. I think I could be."

"But she left, how could you still love her when she clearly doesn't feel that same way about you?"

"She left to protect me," Castle huffed, eyes flickering between the road and the girl, tired of having the same argument. "I might not like it but I understand it. She'll be back."

"And if she doesn't come back? What then?"

Castle sighed, his eyes focusing back in on the road. He tried to convince himself that she would be back, she had a reason beyond him to return, that he would find her if he wanted. She didn't have an apartment, no family, no phone, nothing to tether her. She was… free…

"Then I'll move on."

He swallowed hard as the words left his lips, grating at his throat.

The car fell back into silence as they re-entered the crowded streets of Manhattan.

* * *

Kate pulled off her helmet, taking a moment to shake out her hair, glancing around, taking in her surroundings as she got her bearings. It was cold. So cold. She flexed her numb fingers, cringing as pain shot up her hands.

She dismounted the bike, pausing to unstrap the duffle bag from the back before heading towards the lobby of the hotel. Rolling her head from side to side, she let out a pained groan. She had been riding for hours. She ached and was beyond tired.

"Hey Darlin', what can I do for ya?" The middle-aged woman behind the counter asked with a kind smile, a southern twang in her voice, and Kate couldn't help but smile in response through the cloud of exhaustion.

"I need a room."

"Just for you, Sweetheart?" The woman asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Kate responded, fighting to keep the tinge of sadness out of her voice, masking it with a forced smile. "Just me."

"You visiting family?"

"Hmm?" Kate startled at the question, shaking her head to force herself out of her own thoughts and back to the conversation at hand.

"Are you in town visiting family?" The woman repeated kindly, in an attempt to keep up the banal chitchat while she tapped away at the computer.

"No, just passing through," Kate responded as she pulled her lip between her teeth, sinking them in a little too hard. She had already seen her family earlier, the images of the two names engraved into the tombstones assaulting her mind. She had placed a bouquet of roses on the ground between them with a shaking hand, forcing out an 'I love you' before rushing back to her bike, yanking the helmet down over her head, shielding her face before the onslaught tears had started to fall.

The woman simply nodded. "Check out is at eleven, breakfast is in the room right over there. Just give a call if you need anything. Oh, and welcome to South Carolina."

The bag fell from Kate's shoulder as the door slipped shut behind her. The room was basic: a queen-sized bed covered in an Aztec patterned bedspread sitting in the middle, a small table and two chairs in the corner. She peeled off her jacket as she walked towards the bed, falling face first onto the hard mattress. She curled her arms up under her, legs hanging off the side.

The phone taunted her from the nightstand. All she had to do was pick it up, press a few buttons and his voice would float through the ear piece, telling her that he missed her, begging her to come back, yelling at her for leaving and stating with a relieved sigh that he was happy she was all right. Her fingers itched for it but she held them back, biting on her thumbnail instead, the image of his busted lip, blood trickling down his chin, his neck assaulting her mind.

A gun shaking in her hand as she held it on him, afraid that he was someone else. A knife at his throat, Alexis', Martha's… The things she was capable of doing.

No. She had to do this. If she were in the city the temptation would be too great to go back, to be selfish and put her own desires first. She had to get away; for their own good. She had to get better and once she did, she would go back and hope that it wasn't too late.

* * *

She was back on the road mere hours after she stopped off at the hotel, enough time to take a shower and toss and turn in bed, going round after round with an assortment of dreams and nightmares, the good twisting with the bad in her mind. She awoke with a start, stumbling her way to the bathroom for a second shower to wash her sweat soaked skin.

The same woman was still at the desk when she came down right after dawn, the sun barely peeking over the horizon.

It had hit her in the middle of the night, where she should go, where she was possibly heading already without even knowing it.

"_Kate! Hey! I was hoping I might find you here. You heading to class or to the catacombs that they like to call a library. Shelves upon shelves of dusty books piling up. I swear there is asbestos in that place."_

_Kate laughed as she turned away from the coffee cart, the cup of steaming hot liquid grasped in her glove-clad hand. "Sorry, Graham, I am headed to the depths of the dungeon, there is a dragon of a psychology paper I have to slay."_

"_Oh, Katie, say it ain't so. Come to the Alpha Sigma party with me. You know you want to, we can scout out the cute boys together."_

_Graham wiggled his eyebrows and Kate whapped him on the shoulder with her free hand as she laughed at her friend's impish look. _

"_You have to work on your paper too, Mr. 'I'm going to be a world famous psychologist some day with my own TV show' or are you too good to do the same work as us lowly non-psychology majors."_

"_Aw, you know me, Kate," Graham admonished wrapping his long arm around her shoulders pulling her into a playful one-armed hug as she squealed about the coffee threatening to slosh over the side of the cup. "Sunday night, at oh, about eight o'clock, I will throw back a couple shots of espresso and pound that thing out in a few hours."_

"_Our class is at eight AM… on Monday!" _

"_Yes, and it is Friday, and all the cool kids are going to be at the Alpha Sigma party. Don't you want to be one of the cool kids, Katie?"_

"_I am one of the cool kids. One of the cool kids who gets good grades."_

"_Okay, fine, little miss 'future first female Supreme Court Justice who toes the line of illegal activities but will never jump into the deep end' have fun in the library. I have my eyes set on the luscious Mr. Joseph Miller. I'll call you in the morning and we'll compare notes on who had the better night," Graham lamented, letting go of Kate's shoulders and backing away from her toward his dorm. "But I have the feeling it will be me."_

_Kate shook her head as she laughed, waving her friend off, before turning toward the library and her awaiting term paper. _

Kate killed the engine on her bike as she stared up at the house. It was early Christmas morning and the Christmas lights strung along the front porch banisters and icicle lights hanging from the roof twinkled back at her. She glanced down at the address on the envelope grasped tightly in her fist. It was the one letter she had taken from her prison box before leaving it in the storage unit, the last letter she had gotten from him before writing back and telling him not to contact her again, that he should forget about her and move on with his life. The last letter pleading with her apply for an appeal because 'he knew she was in pain but he knew she had to be innocent and he didn't know why she was doing this.' Confirming the address with the black numbers nailed to the doorframe, she dismounted and walked stiffly toward the door. She didn't even know if he still lived there.

A dog barked from somewhere in the depths of the house and she listened as a pair of feet clomped down the steps, muffled curses at the hour.

The door swung open and any sarcastic or biting comment he had had ready for the unannounced visitor died on his lips as he stared out at her, jaw dropped, eyes wide.

"Hey, Graham," Kate greeted, a small smile on her lips, a hand coming up to tuck a loose clump of hair behind her ear. "It's been a while."

"Kate? What the fuck? You're out?" Graham shook his head, wincing at the words. "I mean hi, welcome. What are you doing here?"

She shifted from foot to foot, her lip drawn between her teeth, as she glanced hesitantly past him into the house. "I need your help."

* * *

A/N 2: See the A/N at the beginning of this chapter for details on the M addition to chapter 16.


	18. Chapter 18

Unwritten 

A/N: Thank you to all of you awesome readers and to you new additions to this universe, welcome. I am glad you are still enjoying this little tale. : )

Kate, my bold, beautiful beta who doesn't put up with my BS, thank you for ripping my heart out, stomping on it and helping me put it back together again. You help make this story better and better. *hugs*

Nic, Holly, ER & Molly, this one is for you. You'll know why. ;)

Disclaimer: Seriously, I can't compete with sexy handshakes that make my ears tingle.

* * *

Chapter 18

Kate stared out the window of her hotel room, watching as the sun rose over the skyline of Houston. If someone had told her a month ago she would be out of prison, living in a five star hotel in Texas and having daily therapy sessions with one of her best friends she would have laughed in their face. She pulled the robe tighter around her body, arms wrapped around her waist, holding it securely to her like a child with her favorite blanket, securely ensconced in its warmth, its smell. It was strange not seeing snow on the ground, not needing a winter coat or having to scrape the ice off of the windshield of her car. Not that she had had to do any of those things in a very long time, but it had been a while since she had faced this day without ice.

She had considered going back to New York, visiting her mother's grave, but she knew if she had, she wouldn't have come back, and she wasn't ready to be there yet. It was still too much, too raw. Outside was too loud; inside was too quiet. He was too understanding, and she was still too fragile. Not that she was doing this for him, not that she would be going back for only him. She was doing this for herself. To be better, but he was a part of it. He would always be a part of it: of her life, of her freedom. So, here she was, staring out at the foreign city where she could almost get around on her own now, waiting for her coffee to perk in the small four cup coffee maker in the kitchenette of the too expensive hotel room that Graham had convinced her that she needed to feel better about herself even though she knew it was a ploy so he would be able to use the Jacuzzi.

She had put on weight; that was good. Her clothes were getting a little tight but not in the bad way, in the 'I see a healthier person when I look in the mirror' way. Her hand was working better despite the cold; she had taken to seeing a therapist for that as well. Overall, she was doing better. She found herself laughing and smiling more and had even managed to go one night the week before without having a nightmare. Graham has formally diagnosed her with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from her time in prison, tailoring her sessions to work through that before moving on to other peripheral topics such as her parents and the phantom elephant in the room that was Richard Castle.

Graham had bought her a cell phone at the beginning of the year as a belated Christmas present, after she finally relented that it _might_ be a good idea. She was still fumbling through the technology, amazed at first by the touch screen. Daniel had walked her through using it the first time while Graham had looked on in utter amusement, laughter dancing behind his eyes as he teased her about not being able to find the power button. It hadn't upset her. Instead she found herself laughing along as the two men programmed obnoxious ringtones for the few people she had in her life, the sassy comments not wounding her like they might have only weeks before.

She had met Daniel, Graham's partner of three years, a few hours after she arrived Christmas morning. The tall muscular black man had lumbered down the stairs of the house at what Graham had declared afterward to be a decent hour of the morning, to find her and Graham sitting at the kitchen table, twin coffee cups gripped in their hands, the silence around them deafening. He had been skeptical of her at first, not that she blamed him. She would have been skeptical of herself too. But he had warmed up after a couple of days, a handful of nightmares and a recap of the story she had seemed to be retelling way too often over the past months.

Castle's number was in her phone. She had programmed it in herself at night as she huddled under the mound of blankets on the bed. It was burned into her memory, the feel of it under her shaking fingers as she had pressed the numbers on the phone in the prison hall: the ten digits. It would be there always, but she programmed it in anyway, just in case. Just in case she one day forgot it, in case she wanted to call him, in case she didn't. She had it. Just in case.

She had been tempted to call him the night before: the night of the book launch party. The book would be available on shelves when stores opened in a few hours, on the anniversary of her mother's death. It was poetic in a way. The lines of the manuscript ran through her head, the way he had told the story so eloquently, naming Raglan and McAlister. How he had left Roy Montgomery out of it and stated that the pair of dirty cops had acted of their own accord. He hadn't named Braxton out of necessity. Even though they had the file, if they had told the whole truth and placed blame on Braxton, they knew neither of them would be alive past January 10th. So, they had decided, together, to keep it quiet. They knew about him, he knew they knew and that would be enough. For now.

She had shown the file to Graham, told him the story, finally, about what had happened to her mother, to her father, to her. He had listened, tears glistening in his eyes. He had a spare key to the safe deposit box where the file was secured in case something happened to her. He had protested, citing that she would be fine. She was safe, but she knew the truth. If Braxton ever decided that Senate was not enough and wanted to run for President, their deal would not be enough, and he would have to act. But at least that was something she wouldn't have to worry about for the next three to four years. For now, she just quietly mourned and healed.

Kate shifted the laptop to her lap as she settled back down on the bed. She had gotten a hang of it over the past few weeks, fingers pecking away at the keys as she surfed the internet experimentally. After her iPhone tutorial, Daniel and Graham had sat her down, created her an email account, which was apparently now essential to daily life, and introduced her to YouTube and various other internet sites. She had fallen in love with Pandora, listening to music constantly in her darkened room after her therapy sessions.

She hit the enter key, watching as the browser pulled up the list of entertainment sites. Castle had said that they wanted to publicize the book, make her story known, so that Braxton would think twice about attacking either of them. With her story out, any attempt on either of their lives would be foolish and just call attention. So, they had thrown a big book launch party, one that she had been invited to. She wondered briefly if he had looked for her, or if he had forgotten about her by now, moved on to someone more available, less hurt. Her heart sank in her chest for the second time since the sun rose as pictures of him flashed onto the screen. Alexis, Martha, Esposito, Ryan. They were all there. Along with a couple more people she didn't recognize. She assumed the woman Esposito's arm was wrapped around was the medical examiner, Lanie, and the short blonde woman tucked into Ryan's side was his wife. She ran her finger over Castle's face as he smiled, bright eyed, into the camera.

The accompanying article boasted that this was his 'best volume yet' and he was branching into fiction, newly inspired by recent events to finish a mystery novel he had begun years before. Her eyes floated over the article.

"When asked about Kate Beckett's absence, writer Richard Castle merely replied that she had taken ill and would not be available for comment. All other attempts to contact Ms. Beckett have been unsuccessful."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, exiting the page and clicking the next link. She felt the bile churning in her stomach as she stared at the two people smiling back at her from the screen.

"Though they refused to comment on the state of their relationship, Richard Castle and Gina Griffin, his new publisher from Black Pawn Books, were seen together for the third time in the past month. The unofficial couple having also been spotted at a Christmas party for Black Pawn as well as out on New Year's Eve. Has New York's newest break out celebrity already been taken off the books?"

She bolted off the bed, tears leaking as she wretched into the toilet. Sinking to the floor, she leaned her head back against the cold tile wall, knees curled up to her chest, fingers threaded through her hair, tips digging into her scalp.

A smile almost flickered over her lips when she heard the "It's Raining Men" ringtone blaring from the other room signaling that Graham was calling but didn't move to answer the phone, instead listening as the voicemail beeped an alert for a new message.

She hadn't told him about Castle beyond the fact that he had written the book, and there didn't seem to be any point in doing it now.

* * *

"So, I know that you are sitting here in the dark moping but I am getting you out of here," Graham announced as he pushed the door to Kate's hotel room open, sliding his spare "in case she locked herself out or started to feel suicidal" key back into the front pocket of his jeans. "Daniel's mother thought that she would "pop" into town unannounced since she missed Christmas and all. Even though I love my soon to be mother-in-law as much as a person can love an ultra conservative Southern Baptist who glares at me like I am Satan and turned her perfect angel, choirboy of a son gay, I would enjoy some back up and I can guarantee that the fireworks and passive aggressive comments will be enough to distract you. At least until it is late enough for it to be proper for me to get you completely drunk."

Graham paused, looking around the dark room, taking in the empty bed and vacant table. "Kate?"

He knocked on the bathroom door gently, calling out again, joking feebly. "Kate? Are you in there? I really hope you aren't sitting in the tub with slit wrists because I haven't lost a patient with PTSD yet and I am not planning on starting with you."

"Come in Graham." Came the muffled reply.

Graham pushed open the door slowly; sighing as he took in the sight of Kate curled up in a ball on the tile floor and dropped down to kneel. "Oh sweetie, you should have called me."

Kate sighed, pushing a lock of hair out of her face with a limp hand as Graham slipped to the floor next to her, leaning back against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him.

"You remember that movie that we used watch all the time?" Kate whispered after a few moments of silence, staring up at the man who had sat with her night after night during those first couple of weeks, talking her down after a particularly bad nightmare.

"Oh man," Graham laughed at the memory. "My Best Friend's Wedding?"

Kate chuckled slightly. "Yeah, that one. From this angle you kinda look like the guy from it. The friend."

Graham laughed out loud. "Rupert Everett? Man that has to be the best compliment I have ever gotten from someone who wasn't trying to get laid."

Kate smiled, pushing herself off the ground before groaning and propping herself up to heave into the toilet once more. Graham sighed, scooting forward and scooping her hair off of her neck, holding it back from her face.

"I don't feel good," Kate declared as she sank back down to the ground.

"I can see that. I guess dinner with the demonic extended family is out of the question then," Graham stated as he heaved her up by the armpits, walking her over to bed, flipping the laptop closed as she snuggled under the covers. "I'll text Daniel, ask him to drop off some soup and medicine on his way to dinner."

Kate pegged him with a half-hearted glare. "You just don't want to deal with his mother."

"Damn straight I don't want to deal with her. I don't even leave to go to the bathroom with her around. She would slip something into my drink. I can feel it."

"She can't be that bad," Kate admonished as Graham pressed his hand to her forehead.

"Oh, but she can. You will see for yourself one of these days. She makes my mother look like a saint. Seriously, halo and all."

"At least you still have your mother," Kate whispered and Graham blushed, looking appropriately chagrin.

"I'm sorry, Kate. Not the best subject to be complaining about right now." Graham ran his hand over her hair. "Well you don't have a fever. Anything else feel bad? Aching? Have you been drinking?"

She shook her head with a sigh. "I'm not drunk, Graham. No, nothing else hurts. It's just my stomach."

"If I didn't know better I would say you're pregnant," Graham laughed, leaning back to look at the woman, his laughter dying when he saw her blanch. "Katie, you're not pregnant, are you?"

"Of course not," Kate shook her head as she gazed past him out the window. "You have to have sex to get pregnant. Who would I have had sex with, Graham?"

Graham studied his friend for a moment longer as she stared out the window, worrying her lip between her teeth. She was lying. He could see it in her eyes, painted on her face. One thing Kate Beckett had never been able to master was a poker face, and the past ten years hadn't changed that.

"Kate…"

She huffed, rolling over to look out the window, one hand curled under her chin, hair splayed out over the pillow. "I'm not pregnant…"

His brow furrowed as the end of her sentence trailed off into an unintelligible string of mumbles. "What was that?"

Kate growled, flipping back over to look at him, propped up on her elbows. "I said we used protection!"

Graham hummed knowingly before swinging his legs up on the bed to sit next to her. "You want to tell me about him?"

"No. It's no one."

He settled in, back against the headboard. Silence filled the room, as he waited her out. Something had caused her anxiety attack. In her current fragile state, even the smallest incidents could be triggers, but with that violent of a reaction it had to be something important. Because she had been getting better. She had been going out alone and had even been talking about finding an apartment and beginning to study for the Bar exam, since she had finished her law degree in prison. She was getting her life together, and breakdowns were no longer a daily occurrence.

When she failed to respond he pressed a little further, pushing her out of her comfort zone. "Who is he, Kate?"

She shook her head into the pillow, stubbornly silent.

"He deserves better than me," she whispered after long minutes and Graham sighed, his eyes flickering closed, already knowing the answer to the question before he asked it for a third time.

"Who, Kate?"

She pushed herself up mimicking his pose against the headboard before dragging the laptop into her lap, flipping the top open. She angled the screen towards him, the smiling face of Richard Castle staring back at him.

"You in love with him?" He asked gently, his eyes skimming over the article.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Kate. It matters to you, it matters to him."

"He's moved on."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. He deserves more than me and he finally realized it. He's moved on... to her." Kate's face screwed up in disgust at the thought of the other woman.

"Are you in love with Richard Castle?" Graham asked again as he turned the screen back towards her, forcing her to look at the couple on the screen.

She let out a sigh, her head falling back to rest against the solid wooden headboard, staring up at the expanse of ceiling. "Yeah, Graham, I am."


	19. Chapter 19

Unwritten 

A/N: Thank you to all of you lovely readers. I really am blown away by the love and support you have for this story. x

Thank you as always to Nic for beta-ing. I always do love your flails, insights and the occasional grr face when needed. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own a Castle other than the one I helped my nephew build out of blocks... and even that took a little imagination. ;)

* * *

Chapter 19

Kate sighed, holding the stick up in front of her face for Graham to see.

"Told you," she voiced. "Not pregnant."

Her eyes dropped to her lap as she sat on the cold tile bathroom floor, pregnancy test still held delicately between two fingers.

"And how does that make you feel?"

Kate felt the laughter bubbling up in her chest despite herself. "Seriously, Graham? You couldn't have thought of something a little more original?"

Graham leaned back against the wall, legs outstretched, ankles crossed. "What can I say, I have to stay true to my profession."

He leveled her with a thoughtful look as her gaze dropped back to the small plastic object.

"Relieved... disappointed... I..."

"It's okay to have mixed emotions, Kate."

"I don't want to have a baby, Graham." She lifted a hand to wipe an errant tear from her eye. "I can barely take care of myself, let alone a child."

"You're still allowed to be disappointed."

She nodded, her hair falling in a curtain around her face.

"You going to tell him?"

Kate barked out a laugh. "Tell him what? That my friend made me take a pregnancy test and it was negative? No, Graham, I'm not going to tell him. There's no point."

Graham sighed. " You should at least consider contacting him, even if it's only to let him know you are all right. He's probably worried about you."

Kate shook her head again, her gaze drifting over to peer out the open door to the hotel room. "It's better this way. He's moving on anyway, I should give him that."

"Kate..."

"It's late, Graham. You should get home. Daniel is probably getting worried."

Graham sighed, pushing himself off of the floor, bending over to drop a kiss to her forehead before heading towards the door. "Try to get some sleep sweetie."

She replied with a sad smile. "We both know that isn't going to happen."

* * *

Richard Castle stared at the article in the paper as he absent-mindedly lifted his spoonful of cereal to his lips. The two people in the picture smiled back at him: the one with Gina wrapped around him, her body pressed into his arm.

His heart sank, his breakfast sitting like a brick in his stomach.

He had looked for her all night; watching the door on the off chance she would walk through- hair done, elegant ball gown hugging her body like a glove, like a fairytale. But she hadn't. He hadn't heard a single word from her in almost a month. He didn't know if she was still alive or if she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. Had Braxton gotten to her, decided to deal with her before she became a problem, damn the consequences? Was she happy wherever she was? Was she coming back? Was there a way to find her? Did she want him to find her?

He had asked the manager at the storage facility to keep an eye on the locker for him. The man, Joe, had been hesitant at first but had finally taken the hundred dollars Castle had offered, promising him with a shaky smile to let him know if anything happened with the unit. So far it had been three weeks of silence.

No cards, no letters, post cards or phone calls; only a blind grasping hope that she was out there somewhere and safe.

"Hey, Dad."

Castle sighed as he looked up to see his daughter round the kitchen counter and head to the refrigerator. He offered up a bright smile, pushing the other thoughts out of his mind for the moment so he could focus on his daughter. "Hey pumpkin, you excited to head back to school, start your second semester?"

"Yeah," Alexis beamed as she turned back around. "I'm taking so many cool classes: French Literature, psychology, anthropology, chemistry and the history of war. I might pick up a biology course or a pre-law course but I'm not sure yet. I still haven't decided yet between pre-med and pre-law. And after my sociology course last semester social work is looking like a contender as well. Of course, I could always follow in your footsteps and become a journalist and they are constantly recruiting people for the teaching college but I don't know if I would want to be a teacher."

"Whoa sweetie," Castle laughed, pushing the paper away his eyes trained on his daughter. "You don't have to decide what you want to be right away. Take your time, figure it out."

Alexis turned to her father, leveling him with a glare. "I don't have time to 'figure it out'. All the other freshmen have their path already and I'm still 'undecided'. Then, to make matters worse, my advisor keeps telling me that I should look into internships for the summer, that it's never too early to start. The more experience I have the easier it will be for me to find a job. So, now, I need to start figuring out internships too!"

Castle watched as his daughter paced the kitchen before stopping at the counter, slouched down facing him, chin resting in the palm of her hand. He slid out of his seat slowly, pushing away thoughts of his own problems so he could focus on the red head as he rounded into the kitchen, pulling her into his body. "It's okay, sweetie, everything will work out in the end. You just need to figure out what you truly want to do and everything will fall into place. Don't think about what you should do or what everyone else thinks is best, just think about you and what you want."

Alexis wrapped her arms tight around his back, squeezing him, cheek buried into his chest before pulling back with a small smile.

"Thanks Dad. I feel like I should be giving you the same advice." Her eyes drifted over to the paper on the counter. "Gina likes you…"

Castle sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not that easy sweetie…"

Alexis drew back, holding the paper in front of him to see. "Why? Why isn't it that easy? She likes you, you like her. I can see it. You have fun together and you aren't constantly counseling her. Kate is gone, Dad. If she wanted to talk to you, to see you, she would have by now. But she's gone, off to God knows where."

Alexis deflated when she saw the crestfallen look on her father's face. "You deserve to be happy, Dad. Just think about it."

Castle listened as the door to his daughter's room clicked back shut, her words echoing in his head as he ran a hand through his hair. She was right, he did deserve to be happy; to do what he thought was right despite what all the others around him thought.

His eyes flickered to the grainy newspaper photo before shifting over to his phone. Gina was nice and he couldn't deny that there was something between them, but was it what he really wanted?

He picked up the phone, swiping his thump over the smooth surface, unlocking it. He pressed on the recent calls list, scrolling through the names until he found the right one.

Drawing in a deep breath, he pressed on the name, holding the phone up to his ear as it rang.

"Esposito, hey, it's Castle. Do you know of a good private investigator?... Yeah… I need to find her."

* * *

Kate ran her finger over the smooth surface of the book jacket, relishing the feel of the raised letters under the pad of the finger. He had really done it; they both had. He had written her story, the words she hadn't been able to voice, and set her free.

Her other hand twitched in her pocket, feeling the smooth face of her iPhone. It would be so easy to pull it out and just call him, hear his voice through the speaker, let him know that she was okay.

Her hand sprung away from the phone as panic swelled in her chest. He would want to know where she was, would figure it out by the area code, he would come down there or he wouldn't. He would say that he was with Gina and that he wanted nothing to do with her.

She sucked in a breath. She didn't need him; she could prove that. She could do this on her own; she had been alone for the past ten years, she could continue that way. When… if… she went back she wanted it to be because she wanted to not because she had to. She wanted a partner, not a crutch.

She flipped the cover of the book open, staring down at the dedication page.

"Did you hear about this?"

Kate's eyes drifted up to see two women standing on the other side of the display. One was reaching for the book, her book.

"Yeah, saw a story on the news. Sounds like a bunch of b.s. to me. I bet the writer made it up to get attention. Stuff like that doesn't actually happen to people."

"What do you mean, it sounds pretty legit to me. The police have even made arrests."

"Most of the people they named were dead already anyway and no one has even talked to the woman. I bet she doesn't actually exist. No one has even seen her since she "got out". They've been saying "she's sick"." The woman paused to let out an incredulous snort. Kate willed her feet to move, just pick up the book and walk away but her eyes were transfixed to the pair, hanging on every word of the fictional version of her life. "And even if that's true, if she is "sick", I bet it's because she is some crazy Meth head locked up in rehab. In fact I bet she made it all up just to get out of prison. Freakin' psycho. I'm telling you, the guy's a crack pot just looking for attention."

The woman looked over at Kate, catching her eye, as she closed her rant. Kate ducked her head, staring at her hand as it started to shake, pressing down a little too hard on the pages of the book. She could feel the anger swelling inside her. Who was this woman to judge him, to judge her? She didn't know them; know what she went through. She sucked in a deep breath as her mind battled itself, the want to say something, to defend herself versus the part that just wanted to run back to her room and lock herself away from the harsh realities of the world.

"Hey! What do you think?"

Her eyes snapped back up to find the two women dressed in suits and stilettos, their hair perfectly coifed and fingernails freshly manicured, staring at her. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. You were listening. What do you think about all of this?"

Kate's hand shot up, shoving a lock of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of the sloppy bun, as she willed it to stop shaking. Her eyes drifted back down to the dedication as her fingers pressed harder onto the page, drawing strength from his words.

_Extraordinary… your mother… proud…_

She could do this. She could defend herself. She had done it before. She had convinced Castle and the detectives that she deserved a chance. She drew in a deep breath. "I think this woman has been through a lot and that she probably just wants to be left alone to come to terms with her new life. Being locked away in prison isn't easy for anyone, let alone someone who committed no crime so chances are she just wants some time to herself."

Her eyes drifted back up to find the two women staring at her, transfixed. "As for him, I think he is a great story teller but above all he is a dedicated journalist. He wouldn't make this up. Read his other books, he always strives to tell the truth beyond all else. I think the only thing he is guilty of is believing in her when no one else would."

She paused when she felt the presence of someone behind her. She cocked her head to see Graham's face hovering over her shoulder, staring down at the page she was still holding open with her hand. She had shown up on his door step an hour earlier with two coffee cups clutched in her hands, a silent apology for kicking him out the night before, requesting that he accompany her to the bookstore.

"He's right, you know," he whispered into her ear. "You are extraordinary."

Kate's eyes darted up to see if the women had heard only to find them staring back at her with wide eyes.

Graham took a step back, rounding her side so he could see her face as he assessed the tension in the air. He motioned to the book clutched under his other arm and cleared his throat. "Oh, you found your study guide. Good. You ready?"

Kate nodded as her eyes dropped back to the table and she cleared her throat, flipping the cover of the book closed. "Yeah, I'm ready, just need to grab a copy of this."

"One? Sweetie, we are getting like five. One for you, me, my mother, Daniel and a random person we pass on the street."

"Graham, no," She protested as he cradled a stack of the books in his arm, all thoughts of the other women quickly fleeing her mind.

He sighed, taking a step closer to her. "We're proud of you. You need to start accepting that. People are _proud_ of you, of how brave you were. Are."

Her head dropped and she nodded as she sucked in another deep breath, holding it in her lungs for a long moment. "Can we get out of here please? I need to get out of here."

His eyes flickered up to the women who that taken to staring down at the table in front of them, one flipping through the novel, assessing the situation, before he turned, throwing an arm around her shoulders, hugging her into his side as he walked her towards the register. "Of course. Coffee?"

She shook her head, clutching her books closer to her chest. "No, I want to go home."

"Home it is." He bent his head down closer to her ear. "You did good today, sweetie. I know it's hard. You'll be fine. Believe that."

She let out a huff. "I lasted two hours Graham."

"That's two more than yesterday. Tomorrow we'll shoot for three. Baby steps Katie girl."

"Don't call me that."

He chuckled lightly as they stepped to the front of the line. "See, you're going to be just fine…"


	20. Chapter 20

Unwritten 

A/N: Thank you as always for your love and support. Your kind words are amazing. And thank you to my betas, you know how much I love you.

I am planning on doing NaNoWriMo this year which officially stared an hour ago for me. You can follow me on Twitter for news about that (aspen_musing). Hopefully I will still have time to update this story but if chapters don't come as frequently please don't worry. I have not and will not abandon this story (especially not now). ;)

* * *

Chapter 20

"There is one across town that I want to check out and one right in the heart of downtown. I know it is busier there but I think that might be good, people to watch, things to do. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to get a car yet and it would be easier to walk that way. I have my bike if I need to get around. Plus, there are a handful of law offices right in the area. I think the suburbs are too far. I also don't need a house for just me. An apartment will be fine." Kate was rambling as she and Graham made their way across the lobby of the hotel.

It was step number two: find a place to live. It didn't need to be anything extravagant. In fact, all she had been looking at were studio apartments. It was comforting in a way: everything in one room. No walls to hide behind, no corners just one big empty room. She was oddly excited about it and had met Graham at the door of her suite with a large grin; one bigger than she had had in weeks, the only other times since she had been convicted had been when she was with Castle… She shook her head. Not thinking about that. Right now was about her and moving on with her life, one step at a time.

"And I looked it up, The Bar Exam is given twice a year, in February and in November. There is going to be no way that I will be ready for the one next month but I have time. I think it's better, give me more time to get ready."

"Are you going to take it here?"

Kate looked over at him, her hands stuffed in the pockets of the jacket she had spent a little too much money on but damn did it look good on her. Part of her was relishing the cute clothes. She had even ventured out on her own the day before, exploring some of the smaller boutiques in the city. She had barely talked to anyone other than the clerks and barista but it had been a step, one that she had celebrated with Graham and Daniel over dinner that night. "I guess. It will transfer states…"

Kate was momentarily blinded as she pushed through the door by the bright flash of light, her hand coming up instinctively to cover her eyes.

She was back in her cell, the light from the emergency exit blinking at five-second intervals, a pulse of florescence: a quick reprieve from the whispers in the darkness that taunted her.

"Miss, is it true that you are the one that Richard Castle was writing about? Were you really framed? What are you doing in Texas? What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Castle? Are you involved with him? Are you really innocent or was it all made up?"

She froze. Her heard pounding in her chest.

How did they know?

She racked her brain, thinking about the people she had encountered, anyone that she had told her name to. None of them seemed like viable suspects, except…

The women in the bookstore. Damn it.

"No comment," Graham's voice sounded as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder's pulling her into him. It was a different feel than how he did when they were in the bookstore. That one had been comforting, this was protective, him being a human shield against the world.

"Graham…"

He stopped and she slipped out from under his arm, spinning around him and pressing herself into his back, her arms curled up in between them. His arm wrapped around behind them, holding her against him. Protecting her.

"Ms. Beckett has no comment at this time and she respectfully requests that you leave her alone so that she can readjust in peace. Thank you."

Kate turned and flew back into the building, head hanging between her knees as soon as she rounded the corner, heaving breaths. Her fist pounded against the wall behind her.

"Damn it," she wheezed as tears began to spill involuntarily down her cheeks again. "Damn it, damn it!"

"Kate, it's okay…"

"No! No, it's not okay. It will never be _okay. _I just want this to be gone. I want to be able to defend myself to an asshole reporter and not need a spokesperson. I don't want to have a breakdown every time something startles me. I want my life back, Graham."

He took a step towards her, engulfing her in a hug, cradling the back of her head in his palm. "You will sweetie, it will just take time. You want to go back up stairs?"

She sniffed into his shoulder before pulling back, forcing her breath out slow and steady.

"No," she wiped the tears from her cheeks, shaking her head, squaring her shoulders. Steeling herself for the onslaught of the outside world, the brave new universe of recognition she was going to have to ford. "No, I want to go find an apartment. Now."

"Okay, we'll go."

* * *

Castle swiveled from side to side in his desk chair, staring at the envelope in his hands, flipping it over; studying both sides, the printed address and return address. The stamp in the upper right hand corner. The PI had found her. It had taken weeks of waiting, hoping, wishing, but there was proof in the envelope that she was alive and well. He had told Castle as much. There were pictures.

He took a deep breath, tearing the package open at the seam, dumping the contents out on the desk in front of him. He picked up the first photo studying it and let out a sigh of relief. She looked good. Healthy. She was coming out of a coffee shop, to-go cup clutched firmly in her hand, sunglasses covering her eyes. Her head was ducked but her hair was flowing around her, glowing in the bright sunlight. She was… stunning. Cheeks were fuller, features less pronounced.

She was alive.

He flipped to the next picture and his stomach sank. She was with a man, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. They were laughing. The sunglasses were gone and she had laugh lines around her eyes, her nose crinkling as they joked.

In the next one she was motioning out in front of her, hands flailing as she talked animatedly about something, her mouth open, speaking. The man was beside her again, a second man on his other side.

He flipped to through the stack. He could feel her slipping away, through his fingertips but he continued anyway, unable to look away.

This one broke his heart. She was leaning against a wall, arms wrapped around her waist clutching at herself, tears streaming down her face. The man was standing in front of her, his hands hovering over her arms, soothing her as she broke down.

The man's name was Graham Foster according to the file. He had been at Stanford with Kate before her mother had died. He wasn't married.

Her address was printed at the bottom, an apartment in Houston, Texas. There was a picture of the building. She had just moved in the day before. She was staying there.

The last picture was of her sitting in a park, a book lying open in her lap, other textbooks lying open around her on a blanket. She was studying one of them intently, highlighter in hand, pen clenched in her teeth. She had pulled her hair back but wisps of it still flew around her face.

He sighed, propping the picture up against one of the frames on his desk. She looked good, better than she had only two months before. She was happy, healthy. She was building a life… one without him. Part of him couldn't help but feel betrayed.

"Richard, dear?"

"In here, Mother," he replied, stuffing the surveillance photos back into the envelope and shoving the entire thing into the bottom drawer of his desk.

His mother was standing in the doorway when he looked up; leaning against the door jam, wine glass help delicately between her fingertips.

"Aren't you going out tonight?"

Castle sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingertips. "No. Why would I?"

Martha let out a dramatic sigh as she stepped into the room, perching in the leather chair in the corner. Her eyes drifted over to the white board still assembled in corner. But it had transformed from murder board to storyboard. _In a Hail of Bullets_ was written at the top, a line scratched through it. Ideas written then scribbled out. Nothing erased. She focused her attention back on her son. "It is Valentine's Day."

"So?"

"So, you should go out. Have some fun… it's been a long year Richard."

He stared past her to the board. Kate's picture was still pinned to the corner: a memory, an incentive.

"Richard, you can't wait for her forever."

"It hasn't been forever Mother, it's been two months."

Martha rounded the desk, clasping her hands down on her son's shoulders. Her eyes landed on the photo on his desk. "You found her?"

Castle sighed, his head landing to rest in his palms. "Yeah, I found her."

"Then what are you waiting for? Go get her! She looks like she's doing well."

"She is doing well… too well…"

"What do you mean?" Martha asked, leaning forward to pluck the photo from its place. "Is she studying?"

"Yeah, I think so. She told me she had just finished her law degree in prison, chances are she's studying for the Bar."

"Well, that's good, right? What's so bad about this?"

Castle let out another sigh before leaning forward to pull the drawer back open. "This."

He handed the package up to his mother without another word.

She flipped through the photos silently, dropping them back down to the desk when she had finished, the picture of Kate and Graham on the top. "I am so sorry sweetheart."

"His name is Graham Foster. They were at Stanford together. I'm guessing they were dating at the time and rekindled if they weren't together the whole time. She used me, Mother."

"Richard… you saw her in here, when she first got out. She had no one, not even this man. She was alone. You saved her. You don't even know the whole story. They might not even be dating."

He pushed the picture of the two out in front of him. "You don't look at someone that way if you are just friends. No, there is something more going on there."

He leaned back in his chair, fists clenched in his hair, eyes closed. "But she's happy."

"Talk to her Richard."

He shook his head. "No, she was right. It's better this way."

Martha sighed, running a hand over her son's head like she had when he was a child. "Then do yourself a favor, box up these photos, this file, put it behind you and move on. Moping like this does you no good."

Castle nodded as his mother left the room to get ready for her own date. He reached for his phone, toying with it for a second before swiping his finger across the screen, dialing the recent number.

"Hey, it's me. Yeah, I know it's last minute but I was wondering if you had plans tonight… Great… I'll see you then…"

He walked over to the storyboard slowly, his hand reaching up for the photo tacked to the corner. His mother was right, it was time to say goodbye. His eyes drifted over the plot outlined on the white surface. _Heat Wave. _The new title printed under the name for his former half-finished manuscript. Yes, it was time for him to put her behind him but she would live on forever in a work of fiction, the 'what if' story of Nikki Heat, the young woman who lost her mother to a tragic end but became a cop instead. He couldn't rewrite her life but he could give a glimpse of what it might have been, a better ending for her, for them. He could pay homage to her mother's memory, her father's.

But he wasn't Jameson Rook and she wasn't Nikki Heat. They were a fantasy and it was time for him to let go of the reality of it. That look in her eyes; the feel of her body pressed up against his. It was what it was: inspiration, a beginning, an ending. He cradled the two remaining photos in his hand for a second before adding them to the stack on the desk and placing it all reverently back into the envelope before putting it back into bottom drawer, locking them away. Slowly he left the room, flicking off the light as he went, making his way to his room to get ready for his date.

* * *

Kate stood in the middle of her empty apartment. Furniture was being delivered in the morning but for now she was there alone, a bed in one corner and a kitchen and bathroom with the bare essentials. Her luggage was against the far wall, a neat pile of suitcases. It was a small place: a studio apartment.

She stepped around the room, her heels clicking against the hard wood floor. It was an industrial style building, minimalistic. In a way it reminded her of her cell back in Bedford Hills and in a twisted was it was comforting. Home. The last home she had known at least.

The rest of January had flown by and February found her with a new home, one more permanent than the hotel and significantly cheaper. She had signed a ten-month lease. It would get her through November and the Bar Exam and then she would be free to move where ever. Back to New York.

Graham kept telling her that he was proud of the strides she was making and over the past weeks she had even begun to see the change in herself. The confidence that hadn't been there before was beginning to build. The frozen moments, the breakdowns were fewer and farther between but the nightmares were still there. More nights than not she would wake in a cold sweat or screaming, hair plastered to her neck and forehead, heart pounding in her chest, knuckles white as her fists clutched the blanket. Graham had been there for the first few, when she was staying at his house and even after she had moved into the hotel. She had finally made him leave when she had awoken with her hand around his neck, him leaning over her from where he had been trying to wake her, not tight enough to kill but enough to scare. Now, she mustered through them alone with scalding hot showers and the occasional late night phone call.

She flipped her phone over in her hand, weighing the feel of it in her palm. She could do this. She could call him. She wasn't perfect. In fact, she was far from it but she was better enough that she could have this conversation. She could explain. She was alone in a mostly empty apartment; pizza box lying in the middle of her newly made bed, on top of the fresh sheets, five sixths of a six pack of beer stashed in her refrigerator, a few days worth of dishes piling in the sink and dish washer.

Her finger pressed on the phone icon next to his name and she listened as it rang in her ear. Her heart slamming in her chest. Her rehearsed words flew from her memory.

"Richard Castle's phone."

She felt her throat close, breaths coming in wheezes. "Sorry, I, um, I must have the wrong number."

Her eyes crashed closed as she fumbled through the words.

"Who were you trying to reach?" The woman's voice floated through the speaker.

"I'm sorry."

Her finger smashed down on the phone, silencing any further conversation.

Her mind flew through the possibilities, any logical explanation but she just ended up shaking her head. It was eleven o'clock at night and a woman was answering his phone. There was only one explanation: he had moved on.


	21. Chapter 21

Unwritten

A/N: I am seriously in awe of the fact that this story has over 900 reviews. You can't imagine the 1000 review happy dance that will ensue. (No there won't be video). ;P

You all are seriously awesome, you don't even know what it means as a writer to have readers like you.

To my betas: You know I love you & the fact that you will work for sneaks.

Disclaimer: I actually let Kate ride her Harley.

* * *

Chapter 21

"Hector, look at me, I am going to do everything I can to keep you here. You've lived in this country for seventeen years, you've grown up here, you went to school here. I am going to do everything I can to make sure that you continue to stay here."

Kate watched the eighteen-year-old boy, so close to being a man, the fear glistening behind a curtain of tears in his eyes. Hector glanced back up at her, his baseball cap clasped in his hands, hanging between his knees. He nodded slowly, taking in a deep breath before pushing himself out of the chair and trudging out of the law office.

She propped her elbows on the wooden desk, head hanging between them as she ran a hand through her hair. She had been volunteering at the little non-profit for the past five months, helping give law advice to illegal immigrants trying to get citizenship or worried about deportation. Hector was just the latest in a long line of heartache. She closed her eyes as she massaged her temples. When she had started taking classes in prison, she had promised herself that, given she made it out of prison alive, she would help those who didn't have a voice— those people her mother had crusaded to help, people who were like Kate herself, silenced by the system.

"Hey! You okay?"

Kate looked up at the woman standing across from her small desk. She nodded, blowing out a breath. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just, Hector was here."

Selena Hernandez nodded knowingly. She was the head volunteer at the center, a retired lawyer. "I would tell you that it will get easier but I can't promise that. The most you can do is help him get his papers in order and apply for citizenship."

Kate nodded again. "His parents are gone, his siblings are all citizens by birth and he has been taking care of them all by himself. He missed the cut off by months. If only he had been born a few months later, after his parents were already on American soil, he would be fine. But now he risks getting deported, and his brother and sister will go into the system."

Selena stepped forward, grasping Kate's hand in her own comfortingly. "It's not fair, Kate, but at least you are giving him a fighting chance. Come on, it's five. We should get out of here."

Kate nodded again gathering up her law books as she shut off her desk light and straightened it up for the next volunteer.

"How's studying going?"

"Good." She sighed, letting out a huff of a laugh. "It's harder to focus now that I actually have a life."

"Yes, I've heard that a life can do that you," Selena replied in a lightly accented voice. "Speaking of… my son was asking about you again…"

"Lena…" Kate groaned as they trudged down the sidewalk. "I told you, I don't want to date anyone right now."

"Carlos is a very nice boy…" Selena edged, hooking her arm through Kate's. "In fact, he might be my favorite son."

"He's your only son, Lena," Kate chuckled.

"Yes, well, technicality," Selena waved her free hand as they neared the small parking lot where her car was parked. "He is a good man, and he likes you. Just think about it dear. Have you decided where you are going to take the exam? I know you were thinking of going back to New York."

Kate ducked her head, her stomach churning momentarily. "I don't want to go back to New York, Lena, it's not my home. There's nothing for me there except for a bunch of good memories tainted by dark ones. I have friends here… "

Selena nodded as she reached up to pat Kate on the cheek. "Sweetie, you have family here. Now, you be safe getting home on that death mobile of yours and I will see you Friday. You are coming on Friday, right?"

Kate rolled her eyes at the question she had been asked at least ten times in the past few days. "Yes, I'm coming Friday night. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good," Selena nodded, sliding into her car. "I'm bringing Carlos as my date."

Kate let out a pained groan as Selena pulled the driver side door closed with a wink. That woman was going to be the death of her. She watched with a wave as Selena pulled out of the parking lot before heading over to her Harley.

* * *

Richard Castle stared at his computer screen as he pressed the key, typing the final period of the manuscript. He couldn't help the smile that bloomed across his face. It was done. Finally. He had written a novel, one that would get published and passed around for the world to see. His breath stuttered in his chest. For her to see.

He had tried to put her out of his mind over the past few months, since his P.I. had gotten back to him with those pictures, those images he couldn't un-see in his mind. He had pushed himself into the relationship with Gina and it had been fun, but he couldn't see it going as far as he had wanted it to, as far as she wanted. They spent most of the time talking about work, his novel and making nicey-nice with influential people at parties. He had even met the mayor.

He sighed as his eyes wandered down to the word count, the number of pages that shined back at him from the bottom of the Word document. Pride swelled in his chest. He was proud of himself and he couldn't help but think that she would be, too.

His mind wandered back to that night he and Kate had spent together, that one perfect moment in time, when they lay wrapped up in each other's arms after the rest of the world had fallen away.

_"Why did you start writing?"_

_He sighed under her, fingers coming up to caress the back of her skull, brushing through her hair. "Because I had to. The words would just swirl around in my head and I had to get them out; saying them wasn't enough. I would speak them once and then they would be gone. No permanence, and sometimes they would come out wrong. But when I wrote I could make sure they were right. I could tell the story I wanted to tell, not the one others wanted to hear."_

_She swiveled her head back around to look up at him. "Why true crime? With this… passion, the creativity you have, you could have written anything."_

_"I wanted to write a novel. I tried for years," he whispered as she stared up at him, splayed across his chest._

_His fingers tangled and untangled in her hair, unconsciously undoing complications._

_"What happened?" She whispered back, not wanting to break the silence with her voice. "You're an excellent writer."_

_"The words wouldn't come. I had no inspiration." He sighed. "It's lying half finished in a box somewhere."_

_"You should finish it."_

_"I should." He ran a hand up her back, squeezing her to his chest in a half hug as he dipped his head to look in her eyes. "You inspire me."_

He scrolled back up to the beginning: chapter one. She had inspired him in more ways than he could have even imagined when he had walked into the prison for the first time. He had expected to go in there, write a straightforward story, something to pay the bills, and walk out again. No looking back. But she had proven him wrong and even if she was gone and he might never see her again, she deserved to know what she had done for him.

* * *

"Hey Dad?"

Castle looked up to see his daughter leaning against the doorframe, staring in at him pensively. "Hey pumpkin, how long have you been standing there?"

Alexis shrugged. "A minute or two. You finished?"

"Yep, just crossed the final T." He glanced down at the clock on the screen. "Oh, it's getting late. Just give me a minute to shower and I will be ready to go."

Alexis watched as her father brushed past her, dropping a kiss to her forehead, on the way to his bedroom. She really was proud of him, the man she had watched him become over the past year. He had always put on a happy face for her, but she had seen the underlying sadness with a series of failed relationships. Most of them he had kept separate from her, but she could still see the difference. Even with Gina, he was happier but it wasn't the same.

Those days when he had gone to the prison and then the few when Kate had been staying with them, she had seen it in his eyes even though she had been petty and short sighted and hadn't liked it. He had been happier than she had ever seen him before.

She stepped into the room with a sigh. He had been tight lipped about this novel, the one that had kept him locked up in his office for hours writing. Sliding behind his desk she scrolled to the dedication page, her breath catching in her throat as she took in the words.

_KB, It's never too late to be what you might have been._

Her eyes raced over the pages, the story of a young woman who became a cop after her mother was murdered, fighting for justice, not only for her mother but for others as well. She recognized the characters- Esposito, Ryan, Lanie and even her father thrown in there but mostly she recognized the alternative form of Kate in this fictional reality he had created.

Alexis startled as her father's voice sounded from the other room. "Hey, Alexis! Can you grab the invitation from my desk drawer? I can't remember the name of the restaurant."

"Yeah, sure," she yelled back, yanking open the drawer. She rummaged through for a moment before finding the small envelope. She moved to push the drawer closed again but she paused as her eyes fell on a larger manila envelope.

She could still hear her father rummaging around in his room, so she grabbed the package quietly and pulled out a stack of papers. Anger swelled in her as she looked at the images.

Yes, she may have hated the idea of Kate, not trusted her or her feelings for her father, but part of her had wanted to be wrong, for the other woman to come back and prove that she was what her father deserved— more than Gina. Alexis crinkled her nose at the thought of the publisher. She had liked Gina in the beginning, but it had only taken a couple of months to see that Gina liked her father not for his charming wit and personality but as a potential gold mine for Black Pawn publishing. Yes, Gina might like her father, but not enough. It was clear for her father too, he wasn't as happy as he could have been, as happy as he deserved. Part of Alexis actually hoped that Kate would come back if only so she could see that smile on her father's face again. That smile that not even Alexis could give him. She had been jealous of that, she could admit it now.

But this? She stared at the picture of Kate, laughing with another man's arm wrapped around her. This she had to do something about.

* * *

Kate grumbled to herself as she gathered up her hair. That was one thing about summers in Texas, the heat was overwhelming to the point where she had actually taken to carrying around an extra shirt with her in case she sweated through the first one on any given day. While the nights offered a little reprieve, they were still hotter than New York, and there was no way she would get away with wearing her hair down.

She shoved the final pin into the updo and wiggled her fingers in between the strands, working out the stern look of the bun. She slipped her feet into the four-inch heels, giving one final spin for the mirror. The knee length emerald green dress looked perfect, elegant enough for one of the nicer restaurants in town, but not too overdone. Kate had to admit she was definitely beginning to enjoy the shopping part of having money. It was Lena's sixty-fifth birthday, and she wanted to look nice for the occasion. And not because Carlos was going to be there, even though he was a perfect gentleman if she'd ever met one. Kate had met Carlos a month before when he had stopped by the center to pick up his mother for lunch, a lunch that Lena had managed to seamlessly talk her into attending with them. It wasn't until halfway through the meal that Kate had recognized the set up.

He was a good man, the youngest of Selena's children and a pediatrician, one of the best in Houston. He also volunteered at a free clinic in his spare time. They had, to Kate's surprise, hit it off during that first meeting. Carlos was intelligent, funny and charismatic. He obviously loved his mother. Selena had even filled him in on Kate's past, and he had gone out to buy the book, literally. Despite all he had read, and maybe even because of it, he seemed to respect her.

She would be lucky to love someone like him.

But something was missing— that spark, the butterflies that should have come when their skin accidentally brushed for the first time and then continued on the second, and still on the fifth. She didn't have that instant attraction. She had felt it only once, but somehow it still managed to have a vice hold on her heart. So she had failed to give an answer to the invitation of an actual date because Carlos wasn't… him.

She glanced at the clock as she threw a few things into her clutch, blanching when she saw the time. She was running so late. She had gotten caught up in Hector's case and hadn't even left the center until an hour after it had closed. Her hands ran over the rumpled blankets on the bed searching for her lost keys as she grumbled to herself. Lena was going to lecture her. It was how their relationship worked— the sort of surrogate mother she had adopted.

The sound of a knock on the door startled her and she froze, her heart pounding in her chest. The anxiety attacks were mostly gone, the nightmares down to once a week, maybe twice during a more stressful period, but she had been doing so well. She forced her stiff arm to move, pressing the heel of her hand to her sternum. But people knew better than to come to her apartment unannounced. They always called first. It was the one thing that she had requested of everyone.

Her fingers wrapped around the small jar of mace in her bag. She had considered buying a gun; after all it was Texas, it wasn't like they were hard to come by, but she had decided against it. She was still jumpy and even if it was there for protection, the idea of having a firearm in her house made her nervous. She had settled for mace instead. Graham had forced her to buy the little hot pink jar. Because it was so cute, he said. Kate just believed he wanted an excuse to snicker every time he saw her carrying it.

"Who is it?" She called out, her heartbeat doubling when no one answered.

She inched closer to the door, her free hand flailing for the knob as she leaned forward to look through the peephole.

She let out a gasp as she took in the sight of the person on the other side of the door.

How?

Stepping back, she pulled the door open.

"Alexis?"


	22. Chapter 22

Unwritten

A/N: As always, thank you all. Now for the chapter you have all be waiting for...

Disclaimer: If I owned Castle I wouldn't be posting this and then running out the door to my real job.

* * *

Chapter 22

"Kate."

Kate blinked at the young woman staring back at her, nervously pushing a lock of red hair behind her ear. One hand clutched the doorknob while the other still held the mace. "What… what are you doing here?"

Alexis crossed her arms over her chest, an air of defiance suddenly radiating off of her. "I came to see you."

Kate stepped back as the girl pushed past her into the apartment.

"I figured that," she stuttered as she turned to look at the girl. "But how… how did you find me?"

"Dad hired a PI."

Kate froze as she stared at Alexis with wide eyes. "What? Why? When?"

Alexis shrugged. "A few months ago, I guess. The bill was from February."

Kate blanched, equal parts disappointment and anger flaring inside of her. Anger at the idea that he couldn't have just let her have her time and disappointment that he hadn't contacted her even though he knew where to find her.

_That road goes both ways, Kate. _The voice in her head taunted. _You could have contacted him too._

But she had reached out and he had been with someone else.

In the end her curiosity won out. "Why didn't he call?"

Her eyes dropped closed. She tried to keep the hurt out of her voice but heard it edge its way in anyway.

Alexis was rifling through her bag when she opened her eyes and she watched as the girl threw a file onto the table. "Because he saw these."

Kate walked over to look at the pictures, which had slid over the wooden surface. Her fingertips ran over her face staring back at her: studying in the park, leaving a coffee shop, talking to the landlord of her apartment. But she felt her breath catch when she came to the one of her and Graham, his arm wrapped around her; she was leaning into his side laughing as Daniel walked, grinning, on her other side.

"He thought I was dating Graham… that I had moved on?"

She snapped her jaw shut suddenly, eyes wide. Alexis may not know about them.

Her gaze darted back up to Alexis who had stopped trying to mask the anger in her eyes, the way her jaw was set on edge and she let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Kate let out a defeated laugh and turned to walk back across the small space of her apartment. She could feel the walls starting to close in on her and for the first time since she moved to Houston she wished she had gotten a bigger apartment, one with an endless supply of breathable air and walls to hide behind. He had come looking for her and then given up and run to Gina because he thought she had moved on, and then she had settled into a life in Texas because she had thought he had moved on.

Poster children for communication they were not.

She pivoted and paced back towards Alexis, her hands clasped on her forehead. "I knew Graham from my time at Stanford, he's a psychiatrist and he's made great strides working with patients with PTSD. I came to him so I could get better, so when I came back to New York, I would be okay."

"So, what? You decided that you didn't want to come back? You found your ex and decided that he was a better option?

Kate sighed again, her fingers steepled against her lips as she took in a deep breath, counting to ten. Everything was such a mess. She turned to the girl with her arms spread wide, no longer feeling worthy of the elegant attire she was wearing. All she wanted was to be curled up in her pajama pants, oversized sweatshirt and fuzzy slippers. "I'm not dating Graham, Alexis… I've _never_ dated Graham."

The girl pinned her with a look of abject disbelief.

"Graham is gay, okay!" Kate finally blurted out. "See this other man in the picture, Daniel? That is Graham's boyfriend."

Alexis deflated back into one of the wooden chairs that surrounded the small table at the edge of the kitchenette. "Then why didn't you come back?"

Kate could only stare at the image of a young defeated girl sitting in front of her, a far cry from the headstrong woman who had stormed into her home only minutes before.

"Look Alexis…"

* * *

"I know I have been difficult and we both know I don't like you very much," Alexis interrupted, sucking in a deep breath to finally own up to everything that she had done wrong in the past year. "But you make my dad happy; in fact the time he spent with you— I haven't seen him that happy before or since."

Kate sank down in the opposite chair, watching as the girl leaned down to prop her elbows on her knees.

"I tried to come back once, to call but a woman answered…"

"Gina."

Kate blanched slightly. "Yeah, Gina. He's moved on, and I'm not getting in the middle of that."

"He doesn't love Gina," Alexis argued, leaning forward. Why couldn't she just see what Alexis was trying to do, what she was saying? As much as it pained her to admit it, her father was in love with Kate Beckett. She had been intent on coming down here to give the woman a piece of her mind for using her father and then dumping him like she had, but Kate had thrown her for a loop. That look in her eye, the flash of something she was desperately trying to hide. She was as much in love with her father as he was in love with her.

Kate clasped her hands firmly in front of her as she leaned forward on the table. "I don't care. I don't get in the middle of relationships, your father and Gina, or even yours with him."

Alexis nodded as she pushed herself out of her chair and walked toward the door, turning suddenly to look back at the woman who had made such great strides in the past few months. If Alexis had met her now instead of a year ago, she would have never known that she had spent ten years behind bars for a crime she didn't commit. She wouldn't know about the horrors that lived locked behind the green eyes. She evaluated Kate for a moment, the way she was holding her head in her hand, cocked to the side staring out at the small but quaint kitchen. She had decorated the apartment well, made it a small but cozy home. Quirky knick-knacks and paintings scattered throughout the space. She could tell it as a place where Kate felt safe, where she could be herself without judgment from others.

"I didn't want to do this but…" She scrounged in her bag for a moment, pulling out a ream of pages. She plopped it down on the table and watched, slightly satisfied, as Kate jumped out of her musings and stared down at the manuscript. "Dad doesn't know I took it. Just read it, okay? And then if you don't want to come back, you don't have to, and you'll never hear from me again. You can go on with your life. But if that doesn't prove that Richard Castle is in love with you then nothing will."

* * *

Kate stared down at the stack of pages lying in front of her, bound only by a single black clip. She had managed a half-hearted 'bye' as the door clicked shut behind the girl. Of all the things she had expected to happen tonight, Alexis Castle showing up on her doorstep begging her to come back to New York had not even made the list.

She ran her fingers over the cover page, almost a ritual for her. Slowly she reached up and undid the clip, her eyes fluttering closed as she flipped to the next page, almost afraid of what she might see. She forced them back open, and her breath caught in her chest as they landed on the dedication.

She read the line at least a hundred times before finally turning the page and eagerly diving into the story showing her what her life could have been.

* * *

Graham stumbled down the stairs of his home as he attempted to tie the sash of his robe around him. It was four in the morning. Who the hell was ringing the bell so insistently at that hour?

"He wrote me a book."

Graham froze, his brain still attempting to catch up to the conversation as Kate pushed past him into the house, the manuscript firmly clutched to her chest.

He rubbed at his eye with his fist. Who wrote what for her?

"Yeah, Kate, didn't we already know that?" He finally managed as he watched her pace his living room in pajamas pants and a hooded sweatshirt, which had to be way too hot in a Texas summer.

"No, not that one." She waved off. "He wrote me _another _one."

"He what?" Graham raised his eyebrows in surprise, finally snapping out of his pre-dawn haze.

His eyes trailed back and forth as he watched Kate pace the room, her lower lip firmly in place between her teeth. "He wrote a book about what my life could have been if I hadn't gone to jail… well not my life but the main character, Nikki Heat, I'm going to have to have a word or two with him over _that _name…"

Graham forced himself not to smile at the inadvertent confession she had just made as he continued to listen to her rant.

"She's a cop whose mother was murdered and she's being semi-stalked by this reporter guy named Rook— don't think I didn't see what he did there too— who she falls in love with, not that either of them would admit to it. And everyone is there: Esposito, Ryan. He's in this relationship with another woman and he wrote me a love story. Then to make it even worse, he dedicated it to me!"

She finally stopped pacing and was now standing, staring at him with wide eyes, her hands on her hips, hair flying wild around her face. "What am I supposed to do, Graham?"

"What do you want to do?"

Kate leveled her friend with a glare. "I'm not here to see my shrink, Graham, I am here talking to my friend. So as my friend, tell me, what should I do?"

Graham walked towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders, waiting as she relaxed into him. "As your friend, I think you already know what you should do."

Kate nuzzled her head in under his chin as her arms wrapped around his waist. "I'm scared, Graham."

Graham sighed, squeezing her tighter. "Of what? That he won't want you?"

"Yes… and that he will."

* * *

Richard Castle was humming to himself as he puttered around the kitchen, placing the final touches on the dinner he was preparing. Alexis had just gotten back from her trip to New Orleans, looking more than a little worse for wear, his mother had the night off from her usual shenanigans and after a little debate he had called Gina to see if she was free. After all, they had been together for six months now, they deserved a chance at a real relationship.

The pasta was boiling and the eggplant parmesan was crisping in the over. The salad was tossed and placed meticulously in the middle of the perfectly set table, and a bottle of red wine was aerating on the counter. Castle put his hands on his hips as he studied his handiwork. He nodded, proudly. He could have been a chef.

His mind started to wander to all the concoctions of food he had forced Alexis to try over the years, some of them favorites, others complete duds. Maybe he should open a restaurant. _Rick's Café American_… no, too on the nose. _Richard's Haute Cuisine… _That could work. He smiled to himself as he stepped quickly across the kitchen, pot of boiling pasta held firmly by the handles.

"Alexis! Mother! Dinner is almost ready. Gina should be here any minute!" He yelled as he poured the angel hair into the strainer.

He added the requisite amounts of butter and garlic to the pasta, snaking a long string of it into his mouth as a taste test. Perfection, he nodded as a knock came at the door.

"Ladies, come on!" He yelled over his shoulder as he reached for the knob. "She's here!"

He turned to greet the woman standing at the door, the smile falling from his face as he took in the head of dark hair falling in waves and hesitant smile staring back at him.

He watched, slack jawed as she fiddled nervously with the strap of the small duffle bag slung over her shoulder, lip pulled firmly between her teeth.

"Hey, Castle."

He continued to stare at the woman in the hall, a better, healthier version of the woman who had slipped out the door almost seven months to the day before. Her cheeks fuller, the black circles faded, the paranoid glint in her eyes gone. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders.

_Just like she told you. She said she'd be back…_

"I know I should have called first, but I didn't know I'd have the courage to actually come if I did and…"

His lips turned up into a smile. If he continued to stare for much longer he ran the risk of her branding him as creepy but he couldn't help it. She was more beautiful than ever and she was there, in the flesh, standing in front of him. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything, how much he had missed her, how he had tried to go after her. He wanted to quote sappy love sonnets and modern day pop songs but his mouth had gone dry and his hand was shaking at his side. He could barely force a wheezing breath past his lips.

"Kate… hi…"

Her smile grew slightly, becoming more assured when he interrupted her, even if his face was still frozen in shock, eyes wide, staring at her.

"I can go if it's a bad time…"

"No, no, not a bad time. We were just going to sit down to dinner."

"Oh, I can go."

No. His heart began to pound in his chest. She couldn't go. Not again. Not when he risked the chance of this all being in his imagination.

"No! Stay please. It's just me, Mother and Alexis."

She finally acquiesced, nodding, and he let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding as she shuffled past him into the apartment.

"Is that my book?" He questioned as the stack of papers she had clutched to her chest caught his eye. "Where'd you get that?"

"Dad?" A voice came from behind him and he spun around to see his mother and daughter standing in the living room. "I have something I need to tell you…"


	23. Chapter 23

Unwritten

A/N: When I started writing in this fandom a little over a year ago I was excited to have 7 reviews on my story. Now, I have people telling me that they expect to buy my novels someday. You can't even imagine how that feels. Thank you so much.

Kate & Nic, thank you always for 'mucking up' my stories. I love you both. :)

* * *

Chapter 23

He was staring at her. As she shifted feet, she forced her hand not to brush her hair behind her ear, not to bite her lip or fidget. He was staring at her as his daughter told him she lied about New Orleans and went to find Kate in Texas instead. He was staring at her as the timer on the oven started to beep, indicating that dinner was done.

Her eyes shifted over to the table. There were four places set, not three.

She looked back at him and saw that he had followed her eye line, wide eyes now flickering between her and the table. He hadn't known she was coming…

"I, um, I should go… you're expecting company," Kate interrupted Alexis' rambling apology about the book and the lie.

Castle's mouth opened, snapping shut as he continued to gawk at her. Had he forgotten about his girlfriend? Oh, God, this was such as mess. She could feel the anxiety swelling in her chest again as she sucked in a deep breath, blowing it out between pursed lips. She wouldn't allow this to happen now. She wouldn't let her hands shake, her breath to come in pants. Why did he have to have such an effect on her?

He was still only gaping at her, a hand reaching out toward her half heartedly as she backed toward the door.

"Nonsense dear, you must stay!"

Kate's head whipped around to see Martha walking toward her, an arm reaching out to take the bag from her shoulder.

"No, Martha, really, I don't want to intrude if you had plans…" Kate protested as she reached back for her bag as the older woman whisked it away to the hall closet.

"We can always set another place." Martha waved off her protest and Kate shot a look over her shoulder as she was steered towards the living room. Castle was staring back at her wide-eyed. He flinched as the buzzer rang again indicating the arrival of their guest.

Kate forced her eyes away as Castle walked mechanically toward the door, Alexis standing awkwardly behind him, Martha chattering on in her ear.

"It is so good to see you dear, how are you feeling? You look fantastic. I was so sorry, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you before. We really were hoping you would be here for Christmas. I still have your present by the way, so does Richard. He really has missed you."

Martha's eyes drifted over to the door, her hand still on Kate's arm as they both stared at the woman standing in the doorway.

"I really should go, Martha…" Kate began, attempting to pull away only to have the hand tighten around her bicep.

The actress turned to face her, standing between her and the door, and Kate startled at the sudden seriousness in the woman's eyes. "Katherine, dear, I know this year hasn't been easy on you, but trust me when I say that if you run away now, you will regret it. So, please, just stay."

Martha leveled her with a knowing look, her voice dropping to a whisper as she drew Kate an inch closer. "Besides, I never did much care for that woman. She lacks a certain…"

The actress paused waving a hand in the air. "Je ne sais quoi. Not to mention any trace of a sense of humor."

Kate nodded, mute, as her eyes focused on the woman standing in the doorway. She was beautiful, to say the least: blonde, thin, sophisticated. Kate's hand curled a chunk of hair behind her ear as her teeth clamped down on her lower lip. They were both looking over at her now. She took in a deep breath. She could do this.

Martha patted her on the shoulder as she took a step forward, forcing one foot in front of the other until she was standing in front of the couple, Alexis at her side. The girl shot her a hesitant smile, an unexpected ally.

"Hi," she greeted, her hand stuck out in front of her. "I'm Kate."

She wasn't going to be nervous. She wasn't going to have an anxiety attack or run away. She had been out of prison living on her own for months now. Graham said she was almost to the point where she didn't need therapy anymore. She was a step closer to her law degree. She could have dinner with Gina. Gina, who was gripping her hand in a firm shake, returning the greeting with a nod.

Castle stood between them, eyes shifting from one woman to the other as their hands slipped apart; the three of them making a triangle in the entry. "Yes, well, dinner is ready. Kate, are you staying?"

Kate nodded, forcing her lips up into a smile. "Yeah, I'm staying."

This time she meant it; this time she was ready to fight.

* * *

Kate slumped back against the door to her hotel room. To say that had been uncomfortable would be an understatement. Never in her life had she felt that much tension in a single room. Not even before she and Castle had…

Well, it was a different sort of tension at least.

Kate knew by the look on the other woman's face, silently glancing between her and Castle; she knew that Gina knew.

Kate had finally begged off after dessert had been served, patting Castle tenderly on the chest when he had caught her hand at the door, silently asking her to stay.

"_I have to go," Kate whispered, attempting to keep prying ears from overhearing. A feat that was difficult to achieve in the small apartment. "I'm staying at the Four Seasons for a couple of days. Room 470. You need to figure out what you want. Once you do, come see me, and we'll talk. I'll be there Castle._

Her eyes slid shut as her head fell back against the hard wooden surface. Part of her was tempted to run back to Houston and forget she ever heard the name Richard Castle, but she knew that could never happen. He was inside her. A small clear voice inside her head even when she thought she had lost him.

The phone buzzed in the back pocket of her jeans, vibrating against the door, and she sighed as she reached back to pull it out, glancing lazily at the screen before pulling it up to her ear.

"Yes, Graham?"

"So… how'd it go…?"

Kate couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's playfully inquisitive tone. "It didn't so much go…"

"You chickened out didn't you?"

"I did not chicken out." Kate's head popped off the door as her jaw dropped at his sudden change in tone.

"Really? Then why are you in your hotel room, alone, while Mr. Ruggedly Handsome Writer is off somewhere else? Without you."

Kate's entire body stood rigid now. "How the hell do you…? Graham…"

"Open the door, Katie."

"Why you son of a…" Kate heard the line go dead as she turned around and flung the door open to find the man she had just been cursing out laughing on the other side. "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too. My trip went well, thanks for asking. Only slight turbulence." Graham sassed as he brushed past Kate into the hotel room. "I came in case you needed a little extra encouragement, and by encouragement I mean a swift kick in the arse, or a shoulder to cry on. You're welcome."

Kate could only stare and shake her head as Graham plopped down on the bed, making himself at home, remote in hand.

"I didn't chicken out," she repeated as she padded into the room, dropping her own bag onto the floor before crawling onto the bed beside him. "I went over there, and Gina showed up. I told him where he could find me, and I left. He knows where I stand, Graham. I told him I would come back and I did. The rest is up to him."

Graham eyed her skeptically, lips pursed as she studied the hotel menu displayed on the television screen in front of them, obnoxious elevator music blaring out at them. Finally he let out a huff and turned his attention toward the screen as well, flipping the channel. "Fine, but if he chooses the blonde bimbo over you, don't expect me to lend you a shoulder to cry on."

"But you just said…"

"I don't care what I 'just said' I take it back."

"No you don't. You can't take that back. But fine, whatever, he's not going to chose her."

"You sound so sure about that."

"I am sure."

"Really? How could you possibly know he'll choose you?"

Kate shook her head, doubt gnawing at her gut. Her eyes flickered up to meet his and the truth came pouring out under Graham's unrelenting gaze.

"Because he has to, Graham. He's the one person who's always believed in me. He never gave up. That has to mean something, right?"

I remember that look on his face the first time he walked into the prison meeting room— that spark in his eye. Like he could see me beneath the shell of a person I had become in there. I had been so awful to him, trying at every turn to push him away, but he wouldn't leave."

Graham leaned in a little bit closer as she tucked a wayward lock of hair behind her ear, a soft smile gracing her face. "I felt it too, the first time his hand brushed against mine. It was an accident, unintentional, he was handing me a tissue because my busted lip split open. Electricity shot up my arm. That's not something you move on from. That is what it feels like when someone has been printed on your soul."

Graham sighed as he let the remote drop and pulled his friend into his side. "For your sake, sweetie, I hope you are right. Because you deserve to be happy."

Kate smiled as she snuggled into him, picked up the discarded clicker, and began her own perusal of the stations. "He makes me happy."

"I know."

* * *

Her body jerked awake and her eyes focused in on the bright red lights of the digital clock as she tried to comprehend what had awoken her. The television was still humming in the background, Graham lying flat on his back snoring softly beside her. They had been watching a marathon of romantic comedies, passing the assorted junk food from the bodega downstairs and a box of tissues between them until they had eventually nodded off in the middle of the California King bed.

Three A.M. the clock glared back at her, and her body jolted again as someone rapped on the door, loudly, insistently. That must have been what woke her.

She rolled out of bed, landing with an 'umph' on the floor as she adjusted her sweat pants and shirt, running a hand carelessly through her hair. _Who the hell…_

She really had to stop putting herself in situations where she asked herself that question more than once in a day.

"We broke up."

Kate stepped back dazed, her hand still gripping the doorknob as Castle brushed past her into the room, a fist clenched in his hair. His dress shirt had come untucked from his jeans and he had a five o'clock shadow coloring his jaw line. He looked scruffy, like they had when they first met. But it was different now, that haunted look was gone from his eyes, the same with hers.

He turned to her in the short hallway between the door and the main room. The soft light from the hall illuminated their faces.

"I broke up with her because I'm in love with you."

A throat cleared in the darkness and they both whipped around to see Graham stumbling towards them, jeans hanging from his hips, jacket in hand. "Well, that would be my cue to leave."

Kate blanched slightly at the look on Castle's face as Graham dropped a kiss to her forehead before nodding to the writer and heading out the door, which she was still holding open.

She finally forced her hand to let go of the knob, and the door slipped shut with a soft click, silence falling over both of them as Castle continued to stare past her, anger flaring in his eyes.

"That's Graham." She explained vainly.

Castle gave a short nod. Of course. He knew who Graham was. Well, he thought he knew.

"He's gay."

Castle's jaw clenched as he gave her a double take.

"He's what?" He wheezed.

"Gay. You know, thinks women are gross. Thinks you're hot though, so that's a compliment…"

"Uh huh…"

Kate took a step closer to him, her arms wrapped around her middle.

"So you and he never…" Castle waved a hand out in front of him.

"No."

"And I'm an idiot…"

She took another step toward him, her hands reaching up to rest on his hips. "Pretty much…"

His lips quirked up into a smile; hands brushing up under her shirt, fingers tracing the pattern of her ribs. "You came back, and you look good, Kate. So good."

"So do you," she smiled back, as his head came down, his nose nuzzling into her cheek, the side of her neck, lips grazing the spot that sent her melting into him. He hadn't forgotten. But then again, neither had she, as her fingers came up to tickle his sides in retaliation. "But don't think that means that I've forgotten that you hired a P.I.."

"I told you I'd find you…" He mumbled against her skin as he pressed a kiss to her collar bone, a hand slipping up the front of her shirt to palm her breast as his other snaked around the back, pulling her hips against his.

"You jumped to conclusions, you jerk," Kate panted back as her hands fumbled with his belt and she backed him towards the bed.

"Admit it, you missed me," He grinned at her as he pulled her shirt up over her head.

"Yeah, maybe I did," she huffed in response as he toed off his shoes. "Doesn't mean you're not a jerk."

Castle chuckled as he spun her around, both of them falling to the mattress. "I missed you too, Kate."

* * *

A/N2: Still not complete.


	24. Chapter 24

Unwritten

A/N: So, Kate Christie and I wrote another M-rated addition for this story set after ch 23. It is called Unwritten: Here With Me. It can be found at her profile here:

www DOT fanfiction DOT net SLASH u SLASH 3012885 SLASH Kate-Christie

Go check it out and give it some love because KC is awesome and did a fantastic job helping me with it.

Thank you all for your love, shout outs and comments, you all are awesome and thank you to Nicole for being my beta for this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 24

She was lying next to him, curled on her side, her bare body pressing into his, her head resting on his chest. She was breathing softly, gentle snores interrupting the quiet pre-dawn hours every forth or fifth breath. His hand wrapped under her, coming up to cup her hip. It wasn't a comfortable position for him, at all, the way his arm was twisted, but he couldn't bring himself to move, to risk disturbing her. It was, in a word: perfect.

The perfect moment.

Her hair fanned out across his skin, tickling him. But the look on her face, the faint trace of a smile, the ease found there was awe-inspiring. She had never looked like this before, so carefree and relaxed. Before, even in sleep she was tense. Her body curled tight, muscles taut, like she was ready to spring awake at any given second. His hand ran gently up her side, pausing to slide back down again.

This wasn't the same body that had been pressed up against his months before. This one wasn't battered and broken, covered in a litany of angry bruises. Purple, green, yellow, red. This one was scarred, yes, but they had faded now.

Kate snuffled in her sleep, and he froze as she shifted onto her stomach, her body splayed half across his.

His finger traced the faint pink line on her back, his mind's eye flashing back to the day they found her in her cell, lying in a pool of her own blood as it dripped down from the mattress to the floor, her cellmate sitting watching her bleed to death from her own bunk across the cell, the knife still in her grip. They hadn't let him in the ambulance. He had argued but at that point in time he hadn't known how much he wanted to be there, how much he wanted her to be okay. His arm tensed, pulling her tighter into his side. If he had lost her then…

Castle shook his head. He wasn't going to think about that now. About how dead her eyes had looked when she stared up at him from the hospital bed; the sunken paleness of her cheeks, the frailness of her body. He wasn't going to concentrate on what might have been; he was going to think about what was. Right now.

Kate shifted again, rubbing her forehead against his bicep before blinking up at him with blurry eyes. "Wuz wrong?"

He couldn't help but smile down at the adorably confused expression on her face— the small crease in her brow, her hair falling in messy waves around her.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong," he smiled down at her before leaning in to kiss her, caressing her lips gently with his own.

She crinkled her nose as he pulled back, nuzzling her head back into his arm. "Not now Castle. Can't handle round three yet."

Surprised laughter bubbled up in him as he leaned over to plant another kiss on her temple, mumbling against her skin. "Go back to sleep."

"You too?" She sighed into his arm, her breath washing over his skin as he reached down and pulled the blanket up over them before snuggling down deeper into the warmth.

"Yeah, me too."

Her lips smacked gently against the tender skin of his shoulder as she drifted back off and he forced his arm to relax from around her, releasing her from the vice grip that he unknowingly had her in. Castle continued to stare down at her even as his eyelids grew heavy and sleep beckoned to him. He felt like he was already dreaming and even though he knew he wasn't he found himself praying she would still be there in the morning.

Castle drew in a deep breath as his arms stretched out across the wide mattress, a smile stretching over his face as he did. Perfect, it truly had been perfect.

* * *

His fingers reached out, feeling for the other warm body in the bed. They searched the sheets, the mound of blanket, which had been inexplicably stolen from him in the middle of the night, but they came up with nothing but cool empty space.

His eyes popped open as he propped himself up on his elbows, the thin sheet pooling around his waist. There was no lone silhouette keeping vigil by the window, no woman sitting at the small table in the corner typing away at a laptop, no water splashing from the tap in the bathroom. His heart sank in his chest.

She was gone.

The small coffee maker in the corner was half full, a mug sitting still steaming on the table beside it; the luggage rack empty of her duffle.

He ran his hands through his hair, scraping them down over his face as he flopped back onto the sinfully comfortable mattress. Stupid. He had been so stupid. Of course she would be gone, because that's what she did. She ran scared when emotions come into play. He shook his head. He could still hear her words echoing through his head, how she had clung to him, chest heaving, body humming.

"_I love you."_

_He tried lifting his head from its place somewhere near her shoulder, only to find himself pinned down by a hand, fingers clutching at his hair. With every body part he tried to move, he encountered similar restraints: an arm clamped around his neck, another across his ribs, a lanky leg like a vise at his waist, and another firmly settled over his hips._

_Perhaps this was not the time to bring up the fact that he'd never thought of her as "clingy," but now he was definitely going to have to revise that..._

_Dozing together, the minutes passed, and slowly her limbs loosened, allowing him to roll off beside her, only to have her curl into him again. Not that he was complaining; he would gladly have her by his side forever._

_"Stay with me tonight?" The question was quiet, her lips murmuring it into his ribs._

_Glancing over the unruly mass of her hair as it splayed over his chest, he looked out the window and realized the first rosy hints of dawn were coloring the sky. With a quirk of a smile, he had the urge to lighten the mood with a glib comment about how much of the night they'd managed to fill so effectively. But he thought better of it when it sank in exactly why she was asking. It made his heart clench, his gut twist to think she believed she even had to, so he hoped his answer would be the first step toward trust, and hope, and a future together._

_"Always, Kate. Always."_

With an angry grunt, he brushed the sheet off of him— the satiny feel of the fabric no longer comforting on his skin— and swung his legs out of the bed. Stupid. So stupid. A life together? All she had wanted was a night; that was apparent now.

The door lock clicked just as his feet hit the ground and he froze, perched on the edge of the mattress. And then she was quietly tiptoeing into the room, her hair still an unruly mass of golden curls, soft tendrils falling around her face. His eyes flickered to the small paper bags gripped in one hand and a cardboard coffee tray resting on her other palm.

"Oh! You're awake!" She grinned at him as she proceeded to pad across the room, placing the items on the nightstand before toeing off her slip-ons, shedding her jeans and crawling back under the covers in her just her t-shirt.

Castle shifted around in the bed, snuggling his legs back under the sheet as she fluffed the pillows behind her, pulling the bag into her lap. He was still staring at her as she leaned forward stealing a kiss from his lips before settling back to sit cross-legged beside him.

"I tried the complimentary coffee and it was awful so I went to the little coffee shop down the block. I got you a blueberry muffin because I wasn't sure what you wanted. Is that okay? I also got a bear claw if you want that instead… what?"

She glanced over at him as he continued to stare at her in shock.

"I, um, I woke up and you were gone… your bag, your clothes. I just thought…"

Kate froze, her hand still in the pastry bag as she stared at him around a curtain of golden brown hair. "I pulled my suitcase into the bathroom to get dressed. I didn't want to wake you with the light… You thought I left again."

Her voice trailed off with understanding and she pushed the paper bag aside, rising up on her knees, swinging one leg over his and settling down on his lap. She cupped his face in her hands, one thumb smoothing the faint lines under his eyes. "I meant it when I said before. I am in this now. I want to be here with you. I always wanted you."

He pulled her in for a deep kiss, tongue flicking the seam of her lips gently seeking entrance as he pulled her body tighter against his. She was right— they did have things they needed to talk about, important things, trust they needed to rebuild but not yet. She was here, and beautiful. So breathtakingly gorgeous, straddling him with her hands cupping his face so tenderly like she was afraid _he _was the one that was going to break because she was no longer the fractured one.

He just wanted to feel her against him again, whole and perfect.

"You up for round three yet?" He mumbled as her hands started to creep lower.

She grinned into his mouth. "Well, you are."

He growled as he grabbed at the hem of her t-shirt, separating from her long enough to pull it over her head. "Give me a coffee break and I could be up for a round four and five too."

* * *

"Well look at you, doing the two day walk of shame. In fact, I'm surprised you can walk at all this morning."

Kate glared at Graham as she slid into the seat across from him at the corner café. She continued to ignore his comments as she pushed up her sunglasses to act as a headband, keeping wayward strands of her hair from flying into her face. She smiled at the waitress as the girl poured her a steaming cup of coffee and placed a menu in front of her.

"Did you two even come up for air in the middle, take a time out to eat? Or should I just order you one of everything on the menu now?" Graham teased as he popped a piece of croissant into his mouth, smiling at her as he chewed.

"Geez Graham, not that it's any of your business, but we weren't having sex the _whole _time… and good morning to you too by the way."

"Uh huh, sure. So what else did you do, then?" Graham inquired as he pulled off another piece of the buttery pastry.

"We talked, ordered room service, watched some TV, showered…"

A sly smile played across her lips as she remembered how the TV had stayed on for a total of three minutes before round five started and how exactly the whipped cream from the room service cart had come into play.

"I don't believe you."

Kate shrugged as she attempted to school the grin wanting to break free. Her entire body was buzzing, electricity threatening to pour from every pore. She wouldn't believe her either.

"Where is the stud this morning anyway? He into the kinky stuff? You leave him tied up in your hotel room with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging from the door?"

Kate rolled her eyes at her friend as she lifted the steaming cup of coffee to her lips. "He went home, if you must know. Had some things he had to take care of."

"Mmhmm," Grant hummed as he chewed his breakfast. "So what are your plans? You moving back to the city now?"

Kate shrugged, suddenly finding her coffee extremely interesting, studying the rich, dark liquid intently.

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't talk about it. I wouldn't be surprised if you two ran off and got married tomorrow. The way you've been talking about him and how obviously hopelessly in love with you he is."

"We're not getting married. We haven't even gone out on a date yet…"

"Details," Graham waved off her words as he popped another bite into his mouth. "So, New York?"

Kate sighed again, cupping the mug with both hands. "I need to go back to Houston, at least for a little while. I'm not just going to leave my clients like that. They need me."

Graham hummed in understanding. "And how does lover boy feel about this revelation?"

"He's okay with it…"

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Mmhmm. Let me guess. He said it was 'fine' and then said he had to go back home not to long after?"

"Yes…" Kate deflated back into the booth, two fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of her nose, the buzz suddenly gone. "He's not 'fine' with it, is he?"

"No."

* * *

Castle was pacing his office when a glint of gold caught his eye. Pivoting to start his next length of the space, he turned to find his mother leaning against the door jamb, her wrist full of bangles glittering in the sunlight.

"It's good to see you're still alive. Where's Kate?"

Castle let out a snort. "Not here."

"Well I can see that…"

Martha let out a heavy sigh as she stepped into the room; Castle stopped his march midstride, sinking into one of the overstuffed chairs instead. "She's going back to Houston."

"For how long?"

Castle shrugged his hunched shoulders awkwardly, his elbows resting on his knees. "I don't know. She said she had some things to take care of."

"Of course she does. You heard her at dinner the other night; she's doing good work there. She built a life. You can't just expect her to just up and leave it," Martha soothed. "It doesn't mean she'll be gone forever."

"But what if she doesn't come back?"

Martha sighed again, leaning forward in her own chair to pat her son on the hand. "She'll come back, dear."

"How can you know that?"

"Well she came back once didn't she? Besides…"

"I told you I would."

Castle's head snapped up to see the object of their conversation filling the doorway, arms crossed over her chest.

Martha pushed herself out of her chair, patting her son's hand once again before making her way towards the door. "I'll leave you two alone to talk."

She placed a hand on Kate's shoulder as she passed, squeezing it gently before gathering up her jacket and letting herself out of the apartment.

The two of them stared at each other until the front door clicked shut.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Kate took a step into the office, her teeth gnawing gently on her lower lip as she did. She had been doing that more often now, the nervous habit. He hadn't noticed it when he had visited her in prison, not that he was surprised. She had been a different person in there— no room to be insecure or unsure of herself. Now he was cataloguing the small gestures: the lip, how she used her long slim fingers to curl her hair behind her ear, even if there wasn't a lock to curl. She was doing that now, her hand darting up to brush back a phantom lock.

"There's a boy I've been trying to help, Castle. He's trying to keep his family together. I can't just abandon him like that."

Castle sighed as he pushed himself out of his chair, coming to stand in front of her, his hands coming up automatically to rest on the slight flare of her hips, pulling her body into his.

Kate swayed forward, her feet shuffling toward him as she leaned into him.

He sighed to himself as he wrapped his arms around her. She fit perfectly under his chin when she was wearing flats or barefoot— a fact he had happily noted the night before. Maybe he was the 'clingy' one after all.

"I love you, remember? I'm not going anywhere; I just can't let him down. Your book launch is next weekend, right?"

He nodded against her hair, the silky tendrils caressing his cheek.

"I'll come back for that."

Castle nuzzled his nose into her hair, his thoughts drifting to the box of possessions in the storage locker outside the city, the graves of her mother and father, which he had visited after she had left in December. She had nothing left here except for a mountain of terrible memories and… him.

"After that maybe I can come down to Texas with you for while. The book will be on the shelves. Hopefully it'll sell a few copies and they'll ask for a sequel. I can write from anywhere."

Her head popped off his chest and she was grinning up at him, a shy hopeful smile. "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course I'd do that for you. We'll make it work, I promise."

She nuzzled her nose back into his neck, her teeth grinning against the collar of his shirt. "Thank you. But I do have to go back tomorrow."

He could feel his lower lip begin to stick out as he thought of the idea of sleeping in a cold bed even though he knew she was right. They had built separate lives, ones that wouldn't melt together immediately. But eventually…

He jumped as her fingers pinched playfully at his side; her body still snuggled against his. "Stop pouting."

He sucked his lip back in. "Yes ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am."

"Yes, sir?"

That earned him another tweak from her manicured nails.

"Sir," she grumbled against him. "You're incorrigible."

"You love me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."


	25. Chapter 25

Unwritten

A/N: I apologize for the delay. Thank you all for being so patient and for the loving words. You all make it easy to want to write. :)

Thank you to one Ms. Kate_Christie for fixing all my stupid grammatical errors.

* * *

Chapter 25

Graham's fist was still posed to knock when the door flew open in front of him and he found himself face to face with the wide panicking eyes of Kate Beckett.

All of the worst-case scenarios flashed through his head. She had had another panic attack. Something had gone wrong in the case Castle had called. Something was wrong.

"I don't know what to wear."

Graham startled as Kate whirled back around, striding towards the antique armoire in the corner. "What?"

"For the book launch. I need a dress and I don't have a dress. At least not a dressy dress— one I would wear to an event like this. And you know what? I've _never_ even been to an event like this— with cameras and reporters and rich, important people. And it's not just that I'm going to be there where I can hide in a corner or duck out early with some feigned excuse. I am there with the _guest of honor _and that means that I'm going to be stuck in the middle of it. I can't do this, Graham. What if something happens? What if I have another attack? What if I trip and face plant into the veggie dip? I'm not this person."

Graham sighed as he stepped into the room, pressing his hands firmly against his friend's shoulders. "Kate, look at me. You are going to be fine. You survived prison; you can endure a couple hours at a cocktail party with New York's most tightly wound. And seriously, what's the worst that will happen? If you have to leave early you can. Prince Charming will understand. Fuck the rest of them."

Kate scrunched up her nose, her forehead creasing as she stared up into his smoky hazel eyes. "Don't let him hear you call him that to his face; he'll never let it go. I swear that man has an ego-in-training the size of the Empire State Building."

Graham wrapped his arms around her, pulling her securely into his chest, waiting until she relaxed her body into his, wrapping her arms around his trim waist. "Now, just call me your Fairy Godmother. No pun intended and we are going to find you a fantastic dress, some killer heels and send little Cinderella off to the ball."

He could feel her lips twisting against his shoulder, attempting not to smile. "Cut it with the fairytale metaphors, will you?"

* * *

Castle's foot tapped nervously as he waited outside the terminal of JFK. Her flight had been delayed for forty-five minutes now and he was almost to the bottom of his venti mocha, her now-cold grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla still clutched in his hand. He should've thrown it out and just bought her a new one when she finally arrived but he wanted it to be special. He wanted her to know he had been thinking about her and that he knew her well enough to know her coffee order, as trivial as that may sound. He wanted her to know that this was about more than just sex and a book, even though the sex was beyond fantastic and the book had already been deemed a hit.

A flash of gold glinted in the corner of his eye and his head turned quickly as he sought her out in the crown, his eyes flickering from one face to the next until he found her again; a head of light brown waves bobbing up and down slightly above the others. He smiled as his eye caught hers and she turned to face him, grinning widely. She had a garment bag slung over one shoulder and a large purse hanging from the other. Castle's eyes wandered over her body, dressed in a nice pair of jeans, white collared shirt and deep brown leather jacket and landed on the pair of boots with spiked heels that made her almost as tall as he.

She looked… normal.

She looked like the Kate Beckett he had written about in his books. The one that he had lain awake at night imagining she could have been, if only, while she slept— huddled in a ball in a jail cell. She had become what she was meant to be and as she came striding toward him, her fingers dancing in a small wave as she dodged businessmen and tourists, he knew that it had never been about the books. From the first minute he had seen her, staring blankly past him at the grey wall, it had been about her— this woman who had been trapped inside a rotting shell.

"Hey!" Her eyes sparkled, white teeth beaming as she came to a stop in front of him and leaned up to kiss his slack-jawed mouth before reaching for the cup of coffee he had pushed out slightly toward her.

"Hey…" He cleared his throat forcing himself to snap back into the moment. "Um, hi. This is for you except it's kind of cold now since your plane was delayed but I can get you a new one if you want. No problem. But let me take that for you and we can catch a cab back to my apartment. I didn't really plan anything for tonight; I figured you would be tired but we can go out if you want…"

Castle moved to grab the garment bag from her hand but she twisted her body, pulling the bag out of reach before wrapping the arm holding the cooling coffee around his neck, pulling his fumbling lips towards hers, her lips trailing up to ghost against his ear. "It's fine, Rick. I would be more than happy staying in _all_ night. Besides, I had to pack light. I don't know if my outfit for tonight would be considered… appropriate for a night _out…_"

His throat convulsed as he attempted to form a sentence, her lips grinning against the rim of his ear. He stared at her, slack-jawed as she pulled back, waltzing around him toward the exit, a sly smirk in place.

* * *

The butterflies in her stomach had managed to tame themselves down to a slight flutter as the town car pulled to a stop in front of the hotel.

They had almost not made it, the minute she came out of the bedroom, in the champagne dress, flowing down off of her shoulders into matching V's on her chest and back, showing just enough skin to make Castle do that cute like gulp but modest enough to cover her scars, cinched at the waist and falling in waves to her knees, his eyes had been on her. The litany of jewels and embellishments glittered in the lamplight as they stared at each other across the room. She had worn her hair down, not yet confidant enough to twist it up into a style fitting of an elegant affair but by the way he was looking at her, his eyes glued back to hers after roaming over her body, her skin flushing under his gaze, the simplicity of it was enough.

He had been messing with his tie in his study, frustrated with the image staring back at him from the mirror on the wall. Now the living room gaped between them, the electricity threatening to overwhelm her as her heart pounded in her chest. He was gorgeous, his hair freshly cut so that it no longer flopped onto his brow, the royal blue of his tie making his bright eyes pop. And he was standing in the middle of the room eyes fixed on her like there was no other woman left in the world.

And then they were on each other, mouths fused together as her nimble fingers loosened the knot of his tie and flipped open the top two buttons on his shirt, snaking her freshly manicured fingers inside. A long leg wrapped around his hip as he pressed her into the back of the couch, her grip on him the only thing keeping her from tumbling over, his mouth working a hot trail down her neck.

Earlier, they had finally pried themselves apart long enough to shower- separately- and get dressed for the party, making sure to stay at least five feet apart from each other at all times but with his hands sneaking up her thighs and his mouth kissing, licking, nipping its way down her front it had all seemed in vain and completely unwarranted. The book could launch on its own, they didn't _really _need the writer or inspiration there… did they?

The intercom buzzed and they both froze, his thumb pressed into her belly, fingers wrapped around the flare of her hip, breath coming in labored puffs against her overheated skin. One of her hands curled around his belt buckle the other cupping his jaw as their foreheads pressed together, dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"That's the car," Castle whispered, tilting his head to sneak one last kiss. "We should probably go."

And she nodded against him. Yeah, they probably should because it was time to finally face the world.

A light bulb flashed as he helped her out of the car, her hand firmly gripped in his. A second, when her stiletto clad feet hit the sidewalk and a third and fourth as she secured her arm through his, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear with her free hand, her head ducked to stare at the ground. Her fingers tightened around Castle's suit-clad arm as her heart began to pound in her chest, the sound reverberating in her ears.

"You're okay." He murmured, lips suddenly ghosting against her hair, whispering soothing words as they walked the last few feet to the door.

She let out a sigh, a small smile gracing her features as she turned eyes up to meet his inquiring ones. "Thank you."

"Always," he smiled down at her, ducking the mere inches so that their lips met in a tender kiss as her rigid muscles finally started to relax, the stress and panic flowing from her body. The worst of it was over. Graham had been right; it was going to be a good night. What was the worst that could happen?

"Oh! There you are. Gina and I were getting worried."

Kate craned her head around to see a woman, her dark, severe bun and black dress seemingly out of place amongst the weightless atmosphere of flowing gowns and alcohol.

"Good evening, Paula," Castle greeted. "It's nice to see you too. Where is Gina, I need to be sure to avoid her all evening, she's already been on me about the second book."

Paula waved off his teasing tone with a wave of her thin white fingers, blood red nails dancing in the air as she leaned up to smack twin kisses on his cheeks. He reached back, threading his fingers through Kate's, pulling her up to his side causing Paula's eyes to shift to her.

"So, this must be the jailhouse princess indirectly responsible for this whole soiree." Paula took a step back, her arms crossed over her chest, assessing her.

"Paula, this is Kate Beckett," Castle introduced as he stood awkwardly between the two women. "Kate, this is Paula Haas my publicist.

Paula's eyes narrowed as she continued to study Kate, her eyes seemingly memorizing every plain and line of her face. "I was informed of your PTSD for security reasons. Are you going to pass out or have a breakdown or anything?"

Kate's mouth fell open at the other woman's brashness as she felt Castle's hand tighten around her own. "I, um, no, I wasn't planning on it, not that it is any of your business but I'm fine now."

Paula let out a huff, waving off the couple as she turned to walk away. "Shame. It definitely would have been cause for a bump in sales."

She paused in her retreat, turning suddenly back to them as the pair continued to stare at her in shock. "Would you be willing to fake it?"

* * *

"Dad! This is amazing, look at all these people! It's like you're famous or something."

Castle turned to see Alexis making her way across the room, clad in a sky blue gown, her bright blue eyes and red hair glistening in the light. His eyes widened, grip tightening on Kate's hand when he saw his daughter's arm entwined with one belonging to a dark-haired boy.

"Alexis? Who…?"

"Oh," Alexis' cheeks blushed pink as she let her arm drop to her side, taking a small step away from her date's side. "Dad, Kate, this is Dana… Dana this is my father, Richard Castle and his girlfriend Kate Beckett. Dana and I were in the same philosophy class last semester, Dad. You remember me talking about it…"

Castle sucked in deep breath. Dana, of course, it wasn't like he had thought Dana had been a girl or anything like that. It was perfectly logical that Alexis' new friend _Dana_ from her intro to philosophy course was a nineteen year-old boy that his daughter was studying with almost every time he talked to her in the evenings…

"… Actually I'm going into my senior year."

Castle zoned back into the conversation to hear the end of the answer _Dana_ had been giving Kate. Twenty-one. Even better, he could buy alcohol.

"Rick."

"Hmm?" Castle pulled his glare away from the young, clean-cut man next to his daughter, instead focusing a questioning gaze on his girlfriend… partner… the amazingly gorgeous woman on his arm. The woman whose eyes were narrowing at him and whose manicured nails were digging into the flesh of his forearm.

"Dana was just saying how he's planning to go on and get his master's degree in engineering at NYU after he graduates. Isn't that great?"

"Yes, great, fantastic." Castle stuttered, finally sticking his hand out to the boy. "Dana it's very nice to meet you."

Dana gave a hesitant nod in return as Castle's grip tightened around his hand. "You too, Mr. Castle. Alexis tells me fantastic stories about you and her childhood."

Castle's mouth flickered up into a faint smile as he focused on his daughter.

"Richard!"

The group turned to see Gina stalking across the room toward them clad in a gold dress, which blended into her cream complexion.

Castle's eyes grew wide, glancing over at Kate as he mumbled under his breath. "Run."

"If you'll excuse us it seems we are needed elsewhere," Kate interjected, pulling gently on Castle's arm, causing him to drop his grip on Dana's hand.

The boy flexed his fingers a couple of times, wincing only slightly as he smiled at Kate. "It was very nice to meet you Ms. Beckett."

"Likewise, and call me Kate, please," Kate smiled back.

Dana's eyes shifted to meet Castle's. "Mr. Castle."

"Dana."

Kate tugged his arm, rotating him in a half-circle guiding him into the crowd and away from Gina's path as Alexis pulled _the boy_ over towards her grandmother's perch at the bar. He glanced over to find her staring over at him.

"What?"

With a shake of her head, she let out an incredulous snort. "You could have been a little nicer."

"I was plenty nice."

"You almost broke the poor boy's hand."

"Well do you know where he wants to _put_ that hand? He'd be lucky if I only broke it. If I find it in an inappropriate place I might be inclined to amputate it."

"An inappropriate place? Like where your hands were in the car on the way here?"

He did a double take as she smirked at him. "That's different and you know it. Besides he's older than her!"

"Yeah, two years! Do you remember how much older than me you are?"

Castle blanched slightly. He'd never really thought about that. "That's…"

"Different, yeah, yeah I got it." She rolled her eyes as they spun back around toward the bar, steering him to the corner where Ryan, Esposito and two women were gathered. "Alexis is grown up. She's going to date. At least be happy it's someone she's willing to introduce to you."

Castle's eyes drifted over to look at her as Kate gave a small wave Martha, who was currently entertaining a group of party goers with what had to be another one of her tall tales, a glass of champagne gripped in her hand, sloshing with every gesture. She was doing so well, talking, laughing. He hated to admit it but he had been worried about her, how she would do with all the people, the chaos. But being here, in the moment, he was willing to admit that he had been wrong. She seemed more at home than he did. He made a mental note to send Graham the most obnoxiously oversized bouquet of flowers he could find.

"Richard!" The two came to a halt as Gina intercepted them. "There you two are. I've been trying to flag you down all night. I have someone I want to introduce you to."

Castle glanced over, exchanging a look with Kate, taking in her half shrug as they turned to follow Gina back across the room, the jazz band playing a lively tune in the background.

"It isn't often that we have someone of a higher celebrity attend one of these parties, especially for one of our lesser known writers, no offense Richard. I was very surprised when I received the RSVP, even more shocked when I saw him in person here, but he said that he was captivated by your story, Ms. Beckett, and wanted to come to pay his respects to both of you," Gina rambled, glanced over her shoulder at them every couple of seconds. "Ah, there he is! Senator!"

Kate froze in place, jerking on his arm as the man in front of them turned around, meeting them with a wide smile.

"Richard Castle, Kate Beckett it is my pleasure to introduce you to Senator William Bracken. Senator, this is Richard Castle our honored guest of the evening."

"Mr. Castle," Bracken held out his hand, his grin never faltering. "It really is a pleasure to meet you. I was gripped by your biography of sorts about Ms. Beckett. I do hope you forgive me for crashing your party; but after I read it, I just had to see the two of you for myself. It truly is horrible what they did to you Ms. Beckett."

Kate's fingers burrowed into Castle's arm, her face ashen, as she failed to respond to the senator's statement.

"Oh no, of course not, Senator. It is always nice to meet… a fan." Castle forced a smile onto his face as he clasped the man's hand, his throat choking around the words.

Gina glanced between them in confusion. "Is everything okay?"

Castle turned his attention to her, "Oh, everything is fine. But if you'll excuse us, I hope you enjoy the rest of the party, Senator."

He pulled Kate away gently, a hand at her elbow, his turn now to steer her across the room toward the detectives in the corner.

"Castle… what's he doing here?" She wheezed after a second. "He's up to something. He's trying to get to me."

"It's going to be okay," he murmured in response, walking her across the room as hastily as possible, listening as her breath continued to quicken, every muscle in her body tense. "I'll get you out of here."

Kate's head bobbed in a short, jerky nod as they finally approached their friends.

"Ryan, Esposito."

"Hey man! Awesome party" Esposito replied, his wide grin falling when he took in their expressions. "What's wrong?"

"Bracken," Kate wheezed, the heel of her hand pressed against her chest. "Bracken's here."

"What the…?" Ryan started as the two other women looked between them in confusion.

"Look, we can spitball theories later but I need you to get Kate out of here now, she's…"

"What the hell was that?"

Castle whipped around to see Gina stalking up to the group. "Gina, not now."

"Not now? Richard. You just _blew off_ a state senator."

"I didn't blow him off, we just had to go." He expressed as Kate started to sway into him, her glassy eyes focused on the far wall.

"Oh don't give me that bull, now you go over there, apologize, and answer any questions he has. He's very curious about the two of you."

"Gina stop it, you don't get it," Castle hissed as Kate drew in another gasp of air.

He turned quickly toward the detectives. He had to get her out of there. "Espo..."

The sentence died in his throat as he felt Kate's hand slip off his arm. His head whipping around to see her eyelids flutter shut. And with a shout of her name, his arms shot up to catch her just as her body went limp, crumpling to a pile on the floor.


	26. Chapter 26

Unwritten

A/N: Thank you once again for all of the kind words- reviews, tweets, etc. I do read and relish every single one of them. And thank you again to Kate for being my beta, sounding board and giving me a good proverbial whap upside the head when needed.

* * *

Chapter 26

"Kate, sweetie? Kate can you hear me?"

Kate groaned as she brought a hand to her head. _What happened?_

"Kate?" The voice was becoming stronger as she swam closer to consciousness. "Open your eyes if you can hear me."

Kate pressed the heel of her hand harder into the center of her forehead. _What was she supposed to do?_

"Come on, sweetie, I can see you're trying. Just open your eyes."

_Open her eyes._

Kate scrunched her brow together as she let her eyes flutter open with a pained moan. _Why did the light have to be so bright?_

Slowly she focused in on the foreign face hovering over hers, cool fingers gripping the pulse point on her wrist.

"Oh, there you are," the face smiled down at her. "Glad to have you back with us."

Kate narrowed her eyes in confusion. _Who?_

"Who…?"

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, we never got the chance to be introduced," the woman continued as she glanced down at her watch, silently counting Kate's pulse, fingers still pressed to her wrist. " I'm Lanie Parish, resident medical examiner and dating that big oaf over there."

She threw a nod over her shoulder and Kate's eyes trailed to where Esposito was facing the crowd, attempting to guard them from the flashing lights of the camera.

"Well, your pulse is fine. Follow my finger."

Kate tore her eyes away from the surroundings long enough to trace a line back and forth as Lanie's finger moved from side the side and up and down.

"Think you're ready to get up now?"

Kate nodded slowly, eyes snapping to the side as she felt another hand on her elbow, finding herself eye to eye with the worried gaze of Richard Castle. "Hey."

"Hey," he replied, his face shining with a wide, relieved smile. "How are you feeling?"

Kate groaned, shaking her head as the two lifted her by the elbows. "Like I had a panic attack and passed out in the middle of a room full of people."

Her eyes drifted around the room, surreptitiously scanning the faces surrounding her as she pushed her hair back from her face. Ryan and Esposito wrangling the craning crowd, keeping them at bay as Gina and Paula faced the cameras, backs to the trio in the corner.

"He's gone, as far as I can tell," Castle leaned over to murmur in her ear.

Her gaze flickered over the nosy, whispering faces one last time. "Get me out of here."

* * *

"What the hell was that? What was he even doing there?"

Castle's shoulders sagged, a hand running through his hair, jacket piled on the seat next to him, tie loosened as he watched Kate pace back and forth in front of his sofa. She was still in the dress, _that_dress he had been more than tempted to rip off of her only a few hours before, her heels in a pile by the door. "I don't know."

"There was no mention of him in the book. No way he could have known that we knew it was him," Kate continued to rant as she pivoted for another pass, her fingers tangled in her hair, gripping at her skull.

"He was feeling you out."

Both of their heads snapped to where Esposito was standing in the corner of the room, Ryan perched in the chair next to him.

"What do you mean?" Castle questioned, pushing himself up off the couch.

"I mean that he wanted to know how much you knew. He showed up to see what your reaction would be. If you had no idea he was involved then there would be no reaction, but…"

"I reacted," Kate finished as she plopped gracelessly into the seat Castle had just vacated. "I definitely reacted."

"I'm sorry, but would someone like to fill the rest of us in on what _exactly_is going on here?"

All four heads swiveled to the forgotten group of women in the corner. Gina had stayed to do damage/crowd control with Paula and Kevin had convinced his sweet wife, Jenny to go home but Alexis, Martha and the indomitable Dr. Parish had insisted on staying. Now, Lanie was staring at them, arms crossed over her chest, not at all thrilled at the prospect that she had been kept in the dark about this detail.

Castle sighed, sinking back down onto the couch, his fingers moving unconsciously to wind through Kate's long, lean ones. "Before Montgomery died he sent me a package, one containing information which he had used to keep his family safe, information I could now use to keep Kate safe. It contained the names of the people behind all of this."

"But I thought Raglan and the other cops were the ones behind it…" Alexis interrupted, pushing herself off of the far wall, taking a step toward the rest of the room.

Castle's eyes focused on his daughter as he shook his head in response, Kate dipping hers to study the knot of fingers in her lap. "They were just pawns. It started out with them, abducting gangsters for money, but one of the ADAs at the time found out. Instead of turning them in, he blackmailed them for a cut. Money he then used to work his way up in the system."

Castle paused, drawing in a breath, his eyes drifting back over the room. "We knew that if we let the information out, that it wouldn't end well for any of us, so I left it out of the story, let everyone think that the buck stopped with Raglan and McAlister, but we held onto the proof that he was involved in case we needed it for protection."

"Bracken," Lanie filled in.

"Yeah, Bracken. And now he knows that we know he's involved."

"So, what do we do now?"

"Now, you turn the information over to us and we arrest Bracken for all of this."

All eyes snapped to Ryan and Esposito.

"No, don't you get it?" Castle exclaimed, pushing to his feet. "Bracken has people everywhere. We turn over that information, put him behind bars and what does that mean for Kate? No, I'm not going to let that happen."

"Then get out of here. Go to Europe, travel Asia, keep yourselves safe while we take care of this," Ryan argued.

"No." All eyes shifted again as Kate spoke for the first time. "I'm tired of playing the victim and waiting to see what will happen next. I'm not running anymore. This ends, now."

* * *

"Are you insane?"

They were standing on opposite sides of the bed, arms crossed over chests, jaws set. A face off.

"There have been rumors to that effect."

Castle's lips pressed into a thin firm line at the flippant answer. "This isn't funny Kate_. _Do you even understand what you're saying here? What could happen?"

"Do I…?" Kate's mouth fell open as she stared at the man across the room. "Oh, I don't know Rick_. _How could _I _possibly understand? After all this is only the man who killed my mother, had me falsely imprisoned and threatened to kill me and my father to cover his own ass. Please, explain it to me."

She could feel the muscles in her neck strain, her shoulders tightening with the stress of the moment. Her fist clenched and unclenched, hidden under her other elbow as she waited for an answer, willing the stress not to overwhelm her.

The others had left hours before. They had agreed to meet up with Ryan and Esposito the next day to talk to the new captain of the 12th precinct, Montgomery's successor. The detectives had assured her that while she was strict, she was by the book, and as a former IA officer she would have an idea of what to do.

"I'm waiting." She internally flinched at the tone of her voice, the underlying layers of snark and sarcasm. He didn't deserve it, not really. He was only trying to keep her safe.

"They will kill you, Kate." His voice was soft, only the ominous edge keeping it from sounding like total defeat. "Then all of this, everything will have been in vain. I might as well have let you die in that prison if you're going to give up now."

"I'm not giving up," Kate sighed as she stepped forward, deflating to sit on the bed. "I just don't see another way. For a moment, a couple of months, I thought it could be possible, that we would be able to just go on living without a problem. He would go about his life and we would go about ours without complication. Stupid pipedream."

"It wasn't stupid; it was hope." Castle stepped around the bed, his sock-clad feet sinking into the plush carpet as he came to stand in front of her. "We'll think of something. We'll be safe. I promise."

Kate sighed as she sank into him, resting against his stomach, his fingers running soothingly through her hair. "I'll never be safe."

* * *

He was lying next to her, his soft snores filling the room, an arm flung across her middle. She could still feel the ghost of his lips trailing down her neck, the heat of his flesh pressed against hers— his welcome attempts to help them both forget their conversation. But while he thought that he had been talking her out of the plan, for her it had only been reaffirmation that it was the only way. She knew he knew, in some small respect, at least, from the way they had clung to each other but for different reasons; her because she was trying to engrain the feeling on her memory, him because he was pleading with her to stay.

His protective grip had loosened in sleep. In the beginning his fingers had dug into her hipbone, like he was trying to make sure she was still there. But as he had fallen deeper into slumber his fingers had relaxed, and now his palm was merely warming her naked stomach, her abdomen, the place where she had fleetingly thought there would be a baby one day… where they had hoped. It was an idea that had filled her mind once she started to get well, 'what if' scenarios of that pregnancy test Graham had forced her to take months before.

It was one of the conversations she and Castle had had in the middle of the night in the hotel, heads sharing one pillow, facing each other, so close that she couldn't see anything other than his eyes, which had been sparkling, even excited at the prospect. His hand had wrapped around her hip, thumb caressing her bare belly button. He hadn't minded the idea of more kids and she was starting to think that it wasn't such a scary scenario.

Her eyes fluttered closed, body willing her to sleep while her mind raced. She could almost see it now: a bedroom made up to look like a nursery, a little chubby baby with his eyes and her hair. His smile. Eventually…

They hadn't talked about marriage but it was there, unspoken, hanging in the silence. Everything that she had thought she would never get having the chance to come true, if only they made it through this one last complication.

Her eyes flickered back open. The idea had been brewing in the back of her mind for months, the plan slowly formulating. She had hoped she would never have to put it into play, but part of her had always known it would be inevitable.

She reached up to trace the delicate lines on his face, those that had been there when she first met him and those that had only appeared over the past two years. It trailed down slowly, cupping the side of his face before lowering to his neck. Slowly, her hand drifted down, fingers closing around his and she held her breath as she pushed that warm hand off of her, laying it to rest at her side. Just as quietly, she rolled out of the bed, crouching as her feet hit the floor before tiptoeing over to her bag, digging out a pair of jeans and a sweater, pulling them on before slinging the bag over her shoulder by the strap. Her dress still lay in its place, slung over the back of the chair in the corner.

She glanced back at the bed as she pulled the door open, watching the rise and fall of his bare chest, allowing herself a moment longer before pulling on her jacket and boots in the front hall and ducking out of his apartment and into the dead of the night. The sense of déjà vu was almost overwhelming as she glanced both ways down the sidewalk before setting out, pulling the cell phone out of her pocket.

"It's Kate Beckett, we need to meet."

She hung up the phone a moment later, letting out a deep breath as she let it rest in her hand before swiping her thumb over the screen again, tapping in another familiar number, listening as it rang.

"Graham, sorry to wake you but I need your help..."

* * *

The gun had been alarmingly easy to get her hands on. She left her suitcase in a bus locker, securing her newly acquired backpack on one shoulder before waving down a taxi.

She stepped in a puddle as she walked under the bridge; it had rained sometime the night before. She vaguely remembered hearing the raindrops splattering against the window as she had lain awake in bed. The sound of the taxi pulling away faded into the roar of traffic speeding along over her. The sun was just now starting to rise, commuters beginning to make their way into the city for work. She still had a couple hours before Castle awoke, before he noticed she was missing and called in the cavalry.

She watched as the black car pulled up from the other direction, one of the tires hitting a puddle, splashing murky water into the air. Why did they always have to be black?

She watched him step out of the driver's seat, her gloved fingers tightening around the handle of the gun in her pocket. It had been easy to find out his cell phone number, connections from prison had a way of helping out in that respect.

"You wanted to talk Ms. Beckett," Bracken said as he walked closer to her, a smirk dancing across his lips.

"Senator." Her hand trembled in her pocket and she took a deep breath, forcing it still as she pulled it out, training the gun on his heart, forcing him to stop in his place. "That's close enough."

Bracken slowed his place, still moving forward but letting his arms float up by his sides showing her that he held no weapon. "Now, now is there really a need for guns?"

"You killed my mother, threatened to kill me, I would say there is a need, yes," Kate seethed.

"Ms. Beckett, I feel there have been some false statements thrown around just now. _I've_never killed anyone."

"Semantics, Senator."

Bracken let out a chuckle, taking another step forward. "So what was it that you wanted to talk about Ms. Beckett, or did you just lure me out here to shoot me?"

Kate shook her head slowly, her hand trembling slightly as he moved toward her. "Trust me, nothing would give me more pleasure than to put a bullet in your brain, but what would that mean for me and the life expectancy of everyone I love? No, this is how we're going to do things; you remember that file that Roy Montgomery had? I have it. The deal that you had with him is our deal now."

Bracken considered her for a moment, the way her hands shook, before taking another step toward her, a smile breaking across his face. "Do you think you scare me? You can barely hold that gun straight, let alone bring yourself to shoot me. Hell, you passed out just seeing me yesterday. No one is going to believe you, _Ms_. Beckett you are nothing more than an attention-seeking ex-con looking for her next fifteen minutes and _I_am an U.S. Senator. So, no, this is how this is going to work. You are going to bring me the file, and we are going to forget this ever happened."

Kate watched, silent, her heart pounding in her chest as he reached up to grasp the gun in her shaking hands. Her throat let out an involuntary whimper as he pried it from her "And if you don't, I will find every single copy of that file you have hidden, and send someone out to take care of you. And trust me, my… associates… like to have fun with their assignments."

Her jaw tightened, a fire burning in her eyes.

"What? That doesn't scare you? How about this; I framed you for murder once, little girl, what makes you think I won't do it again? Only this time, they will find you holding the smoking gun over the body of your precious writer."

Kate forced her chin up in a show of defiance. "They would never believe it."

"Wouldn't they? Who's more likely to commit murder, hmm? Me; a successful self-built man, a senator, or you, an ex-con with PTSD who's been in the spotlight for five minutes? I can see the headlines in the paper now: _Muse Kills Writer in Post-Traumatic Rage. _Who knows, you may even get off with an insanity plea, but he'd still be dead and everyone— his daughter, his mother, all those who have taken you in as their own— would know you were to blame."

Her wide eyes followed his movements as he gripped the handle of the gun, finger dancing over the trigger. "So, are we clear?"

Kate nodded silent as he turned to walk away, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Red sparks of anger flaring in her sight as she watched him drive away, not blinking until the car was out of sight.

A small smile flickered over her lips. Perfect.

Slowly, she reached her gloved hand back into her pocket, pulling out an empty shell casing, rolling it between her fingers slowly before dropping it onto the concrete.

Slinging the backpack off of her shoulder, she pulled out her cell phone from the side pocket. Her heart jumped as she noted the ten missed calls from Castle, her finger hovering over the little symbol of a phone before dropping it onto the ground. He had found her note by now, she would have to hurry. Rising back to her full height she drove her heel into it, being sure to smash the screen and do enough damage before kicking it as far as she could. Then, she unzipped the backpack and got to work.


	27. Chapter 27

Unwritten

Chapter 27

He looked awful, but she couldn't look away. His hair was tousled, like he hadn't bothered to shower let alone brush it before leaving his apartment. The black circles painting the skin under his eyes told their own story. Her fingers twitched with the need to reach out for him, to run her fingers down the side of his face, caress his cheek, her thumb rubbing away the dark smudges as she kissed the streams of dried tears.

The pads of her fingers pressed against the glass screen of the television and her heart broke, a hiccup of a cry catching in her throat.

It hadn't even been forty-eight hours and she already didn't know how she was going to do this, how she was going to keep herself away. She could feel the smooth plastic of the pay-as-you-go cell phone slide against her palm inside the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt and her heart ached for the chance to hear his voice again, she could just call him and listen while he asked over and over who was on the line. Hang up before she had the chance to talk. She could drive back to the city and sneak a glance at him from across the street. But he could call back; the phone could be traced. She would be seen standing in the street; a camera would flash and then a bullet would spark and this would all have been for nothing.

Her hand slipped out of the pocket, falling helpless to lie on the scratchy polyester fabric of the cheap motel comforter.

Her neck was turning cold; the arctic blast of the air conditioner causing her freshly colored mop of hair to freeze against her skin, the shivers seeping down her back. She hated it; she hated all of it. She could barely recognize herself now— physically or psychologically. She hated herself for all of this. If only she had just given up in the beginning— allowed herself to die in prison, if she had forced herself to not fall in love with him, to keep her wall firmly in place where it belonged, then none of this would have happened. She'd be dead, yes, and her mother wouldn't have justice, but he would be safe, and that was all that mattered.

But that was what had happened now, wasn't it? She was dead, and he was safe.

She focused her attention on the screen again, her eyes trained on the ticker at the bottom of the screen, the flashing newsbreak.

"Senator Brought in for Questioning in Murder Investigation."

A small sad smile flickered across her face.

She was dead, he was safe, and Bracken was going down for murder.

* * *

They stopped whispering as he drew closer, turning to him with eyes so sympathetic he could barely stand it. Drawing in a deep breath, he forced his feet to continue to carry him across the precinct.

"You shouldn't be here, Castle," Ryan stated when Castle finally came to a halt in front of them, turning their duo into a trio. "I know Montgomery didn't mind you hanging around from time to time, but Gates isn't as understanding."

"Gates isn't responsible for my girlfriend's death, either," Castle snapped. It was low and uncalled for but he couldn't help it.

"Well if you and Beckett had just given us the file in the first place, then we would have put the bastard behind bars months ago and put her in protective custody."

Castle snorted. "These are powerful people, even if she had been in protective custody they would have found her and killed her. Nobody cares about a thirteen-year-old murder and some money fraud. He would have still had plenty of resources to take her out. She did the only thing she could do: she tried to protect herself and when that didn't work she went to bargain for her life and was killed for it."

"Castle, Montgomery didn't…" Esposito held out a hand, attempting to defuse the situation, which had quickly escalated out of control.

"No, don't start. He had evidence, which he didn't give up and now Kate is dead. So, I want you to tell me exactly what you have on Bracken, because you owe it to me. Montgomery owed it to me."

Ryan and Esposito exchanged a glance, both turning back to study Castle's set jaw, his determined expression.

"Okay, fine. Come in here." Ryan motioned him toward a conference room, glancing behind them before shutting the door. "We'll miss her too, Castle. Don't think we're not upset about this. She was a good woman. Strong."

Castle let out a deprecating laugh, forcing himself to swallow the lump in his throat as he ran a hand through his already tousled hair. This was too hard, the way his chest clenched, his stomach rolled. He didn't know anything could ever be so difficult, hurt so much. "Strong, yeah. Too strong."

He shook his head. He couldn't do this now— allow himself to sit and wonder. He needed answers. He drew in a deep breath, locking eyes with Esposito. "What do you know?"

The detectives exchanged one last glance before turning to face him in tandem. "We received a call mid-morning the day that Kate disappeared from a concerned citizen. When we arrived at the scene there was a pool of blood on the ground. Upon canvassing we found a shell casing on the ground and Kate's cell phone smashed some distance away, like it had been kicked…"

Castle looked between them as Ryan's voice trailed off. "But there was no body?"

"No," Esposito interjected. "No body."

"So…"

"No, Castle," Ryan's voice was soft again; too soft, too sympathetic. He could barely stand it. "There is no 'so', there is no 'maybe'. Lanie tested the blood it was all Beckett's and there was too much. With that much blood loss, no one would be able to survive even long enough to get to a hospital. I just… I don't want to give you false hope, Rick. She's dead. Chances are he... hid... her body somewhere else but the cops arrived before he had a chance to make it back to clean up the rest."

Castle nodded again, his hand straining against the back of his neck, simultaneously holding it up and threatening to pull it down. He forced his hand to release its grip when he felt the headache start. He couldn't stand the words he had been hearing all day. _She's gone. She's dead._

"And you're sure it was Bracken."

Esposito took a step forward this time. "We traced her phone, he's the last person she called before she died. And a witness saw a black sedan leaving the scene earlier that morning, one that matches the description of his car. We're searching his house, office; every place for any more evidence. It was him and we're going to nail him for it."

Castle nodded, rage and satisfaction swirling up through him, mingling in his gut causing his insides to feel like they were on fire. Bracken was going to burn. "Then here, you're going to need this."

Ryan and Esposito both stared at him and then down to the thick file he was holding out to them.

"If the bastard is going down, he's going down for everything."

* * *

He was sitting in the interrogation room and he was calm. Too calm. The self-satisfied smirk firmly in place on his face. Captain Gates was in the viewing room, arms crossed over her chest. Castle was behind her; he still wasn't sure how the boys had pulled it off, having him in to watch the interrogation.

The senator had no idea what was about to happen.

"Not that I'm not willing to help out the NYPD in anyway possible, but why am I here?" Bracken's voice drifted through the speaker in the wall.

"Do you know this woman?" Ryan slid a photo across the table, not bothering to answer the Senator's question.

"We met briefly the other night at an event. Poor thing passed out in the middle of the room, must have had too much to drink."

Bracken let out a nervous laugh.

"And you've had no contact with her other than that one encounter?"

"No."

"Senator where were you yesterday morning between six and eight AM?" Ryan's voice was even, no malice, just questioning.

Bracken shifted in his seat slightly. "I was at home. Asleep."

"Is there anyone who could confirm that?"

"My wife. What is this about?"

"We have evidence to suggest that you were in Brooklyn this morning."

Bracken's hands clasped and unclasped on the table. "Well that's ridiculous."

"Really? Well then why was your car caught on camera there at 7:20 AM?"

"I… don't know."

"And you're sure that you have never had any contact with this woman, Katherine Beckett, other than the party the other night? Because we have phone records indicating a phone call lasting two-minutes forty-seven seconds early yesterday morning."

"What is this about?"

"Kate Beckett was killed yesterday morning, and according to this you were the last person to have seen her alive."

Bracken deflated back in his chair, shock and calm battling for control on his face. "You have no proof…"

"We're searching your home, office and car as we speak."

"Well you won't find anything, because I didn't do it. Now, I want my lawyer."

"Oh, you can have your lawyer, Senator, but just know this: we have the file. No matter what, you are going down, because Kate Beckett was a friend, and we know _everything_."

* * *

Her eyes were glued to the screen, her teeth threatening to chew a hole in her bottom lip.

The headline at the bottom of the screen: "Senator Arrested in Murder Investigation."

"… There should be no question of my innocence. What happened to Ms. Beckett is a tragedy, but I was in no way involved. The evidence will clear me."

The camera cut away as reporters started to throw out questions in a series of frenzied of shouts and flashes of light.

Her hands wrung in her lap. The gun. It all came down to if he had kept the gun. But she knew him, she knew his personality, he would have kept the damn gun. If not, there was enough evidence to be at least circumstantial.

Kate jumped when the phone started to buzz on the nightstand, vibrating against the aging pressboard. Four days, it had been four days since she had spoken to anyone other than a few mumbles to the clerk in the drug store and at the take-away Chinese restaurant down the street. Those four days had seemed like forever— longer than the months spent in solitary confinement, the years spent in prison.

"Hello."

"Hey, it's me."

Kate couldn't help the smile that split across her face. "Hey Graham."

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah," Kate sighed. "I'm doing okay. You in New York?"

"Got in yesterday… They found the gun. He's going down for everything, the scandal is already starting to hit the newswires, look for it on the eleven o'clock news. Bracken is completely discredited, his money tied. He's out on bail but he's not going anywhere. A couple more months and you will be in the clear."

She let out a sigh of relief, her body deflating in on itself until she fell backward onto the mattress in the middle of the bed. "Thank you Graham."

"Anything for you sweetie, anything. Everything else has been taken care of, paperwork sent to the P.O. Box. Oh, and one more thing…"

Kate pressed a hand to her forehead as she heard a rustling on the other end of the phone, her hand folded into a fist, knuckles digging into the bone. This was hard. Harder than she thought it would be.

"Hey." His voice was low and soft, almost like he actually believed he was talking to a ghost.

"Hi." She gulped down the sob threatening to break free, forcing herself to keep the sea of tears at bay.

"You're a stupid woman; you know that, right? He could have actually killed you."

A single tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, painting a line down her temple to her hairline.

"I know."

He let out a sigh, the rush of air into the speaker causing static in her ear. But she would welcome it, she would welcome any sound from him, any indication that he was still alive, well, and with her, even if they were miles apart.

"I got the note..." His voice trailed off, leaving the words suspended in the air like everything would magically be fine if he never finished the sentence. He sucked in a deep breath. "God help me, even though I knew what you were planning, part of me hoped that you would still be there when I woke up and then you weren't and I saw it..."

His rambling speech slowed, ended, and she laid frozen in place, waiting for the conclusion. She wanted to say something, anything, to reassure him but her tongue was a dead weight in her mouth, pressed against her teeth.

"... And I just had no way of knowing if he'd really hurt you. He could have killed you, and I wouldn't have even known. Damn it, K..." He sighed again as he forced himself to stop before he uttered her name.

She wanted him say it— to hear the way it rolled off his tongue, the sound waves soothing her like a melody but they had been explicit about that. No name. Even though they were prepaid cells and Graham would be sure to call from a secure location in case Castle's apartment had been bugged, they wouldn't say her name. Just in case.

"I miss you..."

She blew out a steadying breath at his words. She could do this. She could be strong even though the tears that were freely flowing down her cheeks now; wetting her hair, filling her ears. She forced the cheerful tone into her voice.

"I'm right here, Castle. I'm fine."

He sighed again and her facade fell away.

"I miss you too," she whispered. "So much."

"Bracken's going down. Captain Gates put a protective detail on me just in case, but I don't think I'll need it. He's done, and he knows it."

Her heart clenched and then she felt it release, warmth flooding her body. It was a feeling she hadn't known in a long time. Calm. Yes, the world thought she was dead, but in that moment she felt more alive than she had since before her mother died. It was done, finished. That weight that had held her down, suffocated her for the past fourteen years was gone in an instant.

"Thank you."

Thank you for the information, for freeing her, for being patient, for loving her, for understanding. It was a thank you for everything.

"You're welcome."

And she could tell by the way he said it, the gruffness of his voice, the held back tears that he knew what she meant.

"I love you, Rick."

"I love you too. I'll see you soon."

She pushed down her emotions, stifled her tears, and forced her lips up into a smile, because everything he had said was true. It was almost over, for good.

"Soon."

* * *

A/N: So we're winding down now, only one or two more chapters to go. Thank you all so much for all the love and support. It has been an awesome ride. And, as always, thanks to Kate for the suggestions and red ink. ;)


	28. Chapter 28

Unwritten

**For Angie **who started this all with a simple request for a one-shot that explained Castle background, what prompted him to become a mystery writer. Thank you my dear, it has been a fantastic ride.

* * *

Chapter 28

It was gorgeous. That was the only coherent thought she could come up with when she stepped outside every morning. Beautiful, gorgeous, spectacular. She had tried to describe it to him the one time they had spoken on the phone since she had arrived, but those were the only words she could come up with. He had laughed at her, chided her for her rambling sentences that completely lacked eloquence. But she wasn't the writer after all. He was. He was _her _writer, and his plane would be landing within the hour.

She let out a sigh; her hands still wrapped around the coffee mug, warming themselves in the early morning light as she leaned her elbows on the wooden rail and let the ocean air wash over her, whip her hair around her in a frenzy. She didn't care because it was… perfect.

There had been a point in time when she believed it would no longer be possible. She would never be free, and then she had been proven wrong. Then Bracken had come after her, and she had thought herself as good as dead. But she had been proven wrong again. She had risen, she had overcome, she had paved her own path and it had led her here— to paradise.

Part of her mourned for The City; for her parents' graves that she would never again be able to visit, for the detectives who worked so hard to free her and would never know she had survived, for her place of birth and death. She would never see that city again. But this was proof that a little bit of good could come from a situation so twisted and evil.

Proof that maybe she deserved a little good.

Her eyelids fluttered closed as she let the salted air fill her lungs, felt them expanding, a subtle reminder that she had won.

Word had come down two weeks before: Bracken earned himself life in prison for his sins. They had gone easy on him, given him the chance of parole after twenty-five years. Kate smirked to herself, not that he would make it that long. She had made some friends in prison, friends that knew people.

It was vengeance, revenge, retribution, and she knew it was wrong. The justice system had dealt out his punishment, but it wasn't enough, it was never enough. So she had made it enough. She had set a plan in motion.

One hand slipped off of the mug, her palm momentarily mourning the loss of contact with the warmth before sliding into the back pocket of her jeans to retrieve the burner phone. It would be the last time she'd use this one; she would take it down and throw it in the ocean when she was finished. She was already packed, because as much as she liked the water front cottage, there was a bungalow waiting for them on the big island. She had already spoken to the realtor; they were just waiting for her boyfriend to get there to iron out the details.

Boyfriend. It sounded so young, trivial.

Partner.

They had overcome everything together. Persevered.

She pressed the buttons slowly, methodically punching in the phone number she had long ago memorized for this very moment, listening as it rang and clicked over.

"Sing Sing Correctional Facility."

"Officer Carter, please."

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Tell him its Johanna."

"One moment, ma'am."

Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for the man on the other end of the line.

"Ma'am?"

"Officer Carter, you should have been told to expect my call."

"Yes, ma'am. Please hold."

Kate let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

The prison didn't have hold music, so only dead silence echoed back at her as she waited, the sound of the ocean lapping and her pulse pounding filling the void.

"Hello?"

All the nervousness melted away as she heard the voice float through the receiver, only to be replaced by the burning calm of released fury. She was over it, done. He couldn't hurt her anymore, and that made it okay. She could never forgive or forget, but she would move on.

"Hello Senator."

"You…"

All the disdain he felt for her radiated through the phone with one word.

"Oh come now Senator, don't be like that."

"You did this."

"Me? But I'm just a silly little girl remember? Karma Senator, you did this to yourself. But know this, I made friends over the past ten years. Powerful friends, some dangerous, and you've made enemies. And they may come and visit you in the night, like the ghosts that haunt Scrooge. When they do, think of me; think of my mother, my father and all of the other lives that you have ruined in your pursuit of power."

Kate hung up the phone, deft fingers sliding out the battery and sim card before walking down the steps of the cottage. It was a private beach. Every once in awhile she would see another couple strolling or a runner jogging in the surf, but normally it was pretty quiet, like today. She gripped the dismantled phone in her hand as her bare feet padded over the sand, carrying her to the water line. It was low tide, and her eyes roamed the shells, scattered debris and sea life stranded on the beach by the receding water as she strolled down the beach. She liked it here. A tropical paradise. People had always said Hawaii was beautiful but she hadn't wanted to believe it until now. She never wanted to dream that she would actually make it somewhere like this: endless blue in front of her, a dormant volcano at her back, her home, in between.

She after minutes, hours, of wandering she turned to stare out at the vast expanse of blue and green, wiggled her toes in the sand for a moment, relishing the feeling of the cool ocean breeze washing over her before winding her arm back and throwing the pieces into the water, listening for the 'plop' as they landed. She never heard it, but she had seen them fall, felt that life- her tragic past- melting away.

It was done. Finished. They would never come after her again.

It had been astonishingly easy to plan: faking her own death, framing Bracken. It had taken a few months of planning and an acquaintance willing to help her store her own blood one pint at a time. But she had planted all the pieces, and Bracken had unwittingly played his part perfectly.

The money had been the next step. She had no parent, no children, no relatives, so it had not been difficult to explain why she would set up a will naming a person with no blood or marital relation to her as her beneficiary and power of attorney. To everyone else it would look like she had left everything to the only person she loved, and he would then use that and his book money to go start a new life. A life somewhere that didn't hold constant reminders of her, somewhere he could be secluded and write in peace.

It was time to move on.

But she still felt the weight of the ring around her neck; she always would. Then she looked down at her watch, her father's watch, to see what time it was. And that was okay. She could still live even though they were gone.

She had to get back. Castle's plane would be landing soon.

She leaned down to the brush a patch of sand off of her shin as she traipsed back up the stairs, pausing as she caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass of the French doors that lead out to the deck.

"Hey."

"Hi," She felt like her face was going to burst from the smile. "You're not supposed to be here yet."

He dropped his bag to the floor just inside the door. A carry-on. The rest of his belongings were being shipped. They would be delivered to his- _their-_new home once they closed on it. His eyes were glued to her, studying every inch of her sun-kissed skin.

"Caught an earlier flight."

And then he was on her, arms circled around her waist, lifting her off the ground as she squealed into his neck, clinging to him.

"Hi," he murmured the word into her ear, his nose nuzzling into her hair.

"I missed you," she whispered back, her fingers threading through the fine hairs on the back of his neck as her feet hit the ground again. She moved to pull away, look him in the eye, but his mouth was on her, warm and seeking, and her body simply melted into his. Too long, it had been too long, but this was the last time they would go months without each other. Even if he had to go on a book tour or meet with editors back in New York, it would be days or weeks, but not months, not years. Never again.

The moan died on her lips when his mouth finally reached hers and they were stumbling backward until the back of her legs bumped into the edge of one of the chaise lounges.

"I missed you too," He mumbled back, his mouth still smiling against hers as he looped his pointer finger under the thin strap of her sundress, pulling it slowly off of her shoulder, leaving a line of goosebumps in it's wake before starting on the other one. Soft torture on her already overheated skin.

"I can see that," she laughed back. "Welcome to Hawaii."

"Aloha."

Then his lips were moving leisurely down the curve of her bare neck as his hands moved lower. Her fingers found the column of buttons on his shirt, making quick work of them before sneaking inside, relishing the feeling of his skin on hers. And yes, she let out a moan, not at all worried about the volume, because this was paradise, and there was no one around to hear.

* * *

He had fallen asleep as they lay in the hammock hung in the corner of the wrap-around porch, the purple crocheted blanket draped over their naked bodies. Not that she blamed him, he had been going for hours straight between packing and traveling and then their, well, 'welcome to your new home' activities. She allowed her fingers to dance over his chest, mapping it, memorizing what had changed and what hadn't in the months since they had last been together. This beautiful, wonderful man who had saved her in so many ways, too many to list, and then given up his own life, lied to his friends and family to be with her in the end.

Part of her still didn't understand why he hadn't given up months ago, years. She was no good for him, but he was exactly what she needed, so she clung to him, her leg wrapped around one of his, arm curled around his chest, head resting on his shoulder as he slept, spent, in the pristine Hawaii afternoon.

Her fingers were playing with his, unable to stop touching, looking, feeling, when her new iPhone began to chirp on the far banister. She debated for a moment, comfortable with the feeling of his large warm palm anchored at her hip, securing her to his side. Always.

It was the word he whispered in her ear when she said she loved him, when she thanked him, when she doubted that she deserved him. He would say that she had him always because she was imprinted on his soul, him on hers; that this is what fate felt like. It was the word that would render her speechless because he could say more with two syllables than she could say with a thousand pages.

The phone chirped again and she peeled his fingers from her skin, rolling out of the fabric swing with as much grace as possible.

"Hello."

"Hey Becks."

Kate couldn't help but smile into the phone. Graham. "I told you not to call me that."

"Oh come one, what am I supposed to call you? _Rebecca?_That is an entire two syllables too long, besides don't tell me you hadn't thought of that before you chose the name. Becks. It has a nice ring to it."

Kate rolled her eyes. Some things would never change no matter how many times she died. "What's up Graham?"

"Lover boy there yet?"

"Yes, he just landed a couple hours ago."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"No, not interrupting."

"Oh, please tell me that you're not still at it."

"Graham!" Kate pressed the back of her hand to her mouth to suppressed a laugh.

"Okay, okay, fine," Graham teased before pausing, the levity in his voice falling away with his next words. "I just wanted to let you know that I got a call from your detective friends, Bracken is dead; found hanged in his cell."

Silence filled the line.

"But you knew that already, didn't you?"

"K... Becks?"

Kate drew in a breath, revelling in the feeling of it filling her lungs: her living, breathing lungs. It was done, over, finished. Her only regret was that she couldn't have been there to see the terror in his eyes as he was strung up. "How would I have possibly known the Senator was going to kill himself, Graham?"

"Right..."

"Thanks for the update."

"One more thing. I ran into Selena Hernandez the other day. She told me that Hector finally received citizenship. I thought you'd like to know."

Kate could feel the tears welling in her eyes, threatening to overthrow the image of calm she was attempting to maintain. "That's... fantastic. I wish I could have been there to see it."

"Selena said it was because of you, Becks, because of the case you put together for him before... Anyway, go on get back to lover boy."

"'Kay..." Kate whispered, wiping an errant tear from her cheek. "See you soon?"

"You know it, it takes more than a little thing like death to keep me away."

Kate stared at the phone for a moment after the line went dead before placing it on the rail and stepping back over to the hammock, her new mane of blonde hair floating in the breeze behind her. She stared out at the horizon for a moment, listening as the birds chirped a cheerful, tuneless melody, and leaves rustled in wind. It was bright; vivid colors hit her senses, threatening to overload them in a way that they hadn't in years, not since her mother had died. But now the haze, the clouds, were gone, and her world was bright again.

The hammock jerked as she eased back into it, causing Castle to startle awake. "'Sup?"

"Nothing, Graham just called to make sure you had arrived safely." She soothed as she curled back into him. "Go back to sleep."

"Mmkay. Wake me when it's time to go see the realtor. Rebecca Rogers and her ruggedly handsome writer fiance have a house to buy."

Kate froze. Fiance?

She turned back to question him but he was asleep, snoring lightly.

Biting her lip, she leaned over to feel at the pockets of his pants which had gotten flung under the hammock, finding a box-sized bulge in one of the pockets. Stunned laughter flew from her lips as she turned back to look back at the sleeping man, grinning.

She would just have to act surprised. And she was okay with that, because this was what her mother and father would have wanted for her. This was what she had dreamed about lying awake in that damp, grey cell, curled up with the same purple blanket-a life ahead of her, slate blank...

...yet to be written.

* * *

**Epilogue to follow.**

**And please keep an eye out for one final M-rated insert written with the fabulous Kate Christie. It should be up sometime this weekend and will be posted to her account so follow her if you don't already (and read Rewound while you're at it). ;)**

A/N: Thank you to all of you for your love and support for this story. It has been a fantastic rollercoaster ride. I am blown away by you all. I couldn't even imagine a story or response like this when I started in this fandom 1.5 years ago.

Kate- thank you for speaking the same type of crazy I do. I don't think I would have been able to keep this anywhere near coherent without your help. But I think we've reached our limit on margaritas. I'm just going to show up with a wad of cash & directions to the nearest liquor store or maybe a case of wine.


	29. Epilogue

Unwritten

A/N: Link to the final M-rated companion piece (mid Ch 28) Co-written with Kate Christie. www . fanfiction s / 8586153 / 3 /

* * *

Epilogue

His attempts to explain it had fallen flat over the phone, only receiving dead silence in return. He had waited months to spill the news to his mother and daughter. He had staved off their visits with excuses of him not being ready and that he needed space to clear his head. He told them about his new home and the book he was working on now, a new character named Derrick Storm a private investigator turned spy. He explained that he couldn't write Nikki Heat anymore because it reminded him too much of Kate. In reality he decided to give up his fictional female detective to protect Kate in the off chance any new overzealous fans got conspiratorial ideas.

Instead he had regaled them with stories of the volcanoes he hiked and the boat he was planning to buy, all the while keeping it to 'him' alone, not 'them' not 'they'. He kept up the act of being completely alone and in mourning but healing nonetheless. So, months later, when he called and invited them to the island to visit and told them that he had someone he wanted them to meet, it was not a surprise that his announcement had been met with shocked silence.

"Richard!"

Castle turned around to see two flashes of red walking toward him.

"Hey!" He waved as they approached, wrapping his daughter in a tight hug, releasing her after a prolonged squeeze to give his mother a kiss on the cheek.

Taking a step back he just looked at them, a slight pang in his heart. He had missed them both so much, and while living on the island in the middle of the Pacific was made worth it by the fact that he had the woman he loved alive and by this side, the distance did become too much sometimes.

"Come on," Castle pasted a smile to his face. "Dinner will be ready soon."

He flung an arm around his daughter's shoulder as they strolled toward the luggage carousel. "So, did you have good flights?"

* * *

"Now really, Richard," Martha started as they pulled into traffic, Castle's hands gripped tightly on the wheel. He was ready for this— the interrogation, the skepticism. "Who is this woman? You won't tell us anything about her and quite frankly she must be something because we all know how much you loved Katherine. This isn't just some rebound, is it? Because you sound serious about her and it wouldn't be fair to her if you are just going to use her."

He let out a sigh. He had known this would happen but it didn't make it any easier.

"We're just worried about you, Dad," Alexis chimed in as she leaned forward from her seat in the back of the small four-door hybrid.

"I'm fine, believe me. Just please give me the benefit of the doubt and meet her. Rebecca is, well, she's a certain brand of extraordinary."

Martha graced him with a skeptical glance as Alexis relaxed back into the rear seat, arms crossed over her chest in a move that reminded her of when she was fifteen again. Castle couldn't help smiling to himself at the thought of the woman waiting for them at home.

It was a modest cottage with three bedrooms and two baths. The outside walls were painted royal blue; the shutters pale yellow, almost white. In any other location it would be seen as tacky but up against the backdrop of billowing green trees, white sand and an expanse of blue-green water, it was perfect. A wrap around porch surrounded the entire building, and a two-person hammock hung in the corner. He couldn't help but smile again when he thought of what had happened in that hammock, well attempted to happen at least. They had learned the hard way how easy it was to flip, as they landed in a pile of naked limbs and flesh on the wood floor, peals of laughter mixing with groans of pain. Of course, he couldn't complain about the series of massages that followed to work the kinks and knots out of both of their backs... and others areas.

There was a small garden off to the side of the house that Kate had started a few months before. She said it was therapeutic, a place where she could go and relax, focus on the physical work if her anxiety started to rise again, which it had on a couple of occasions. He had even woken some mornings to find out she had been elbow-deep in sand and soil since minutes after dawn. She was actually surprisingly good at it for someone who had grown up in a city where the closest thing to a family garden was the rack of herbs in the kitchen window box.

He could hear the laughter the moment he opened the door, the sound ringing over the soft tones flowing from the small radio in the corner of the kitchen counter. He propped the bags against the wall, motioning for the others to leave their purses and shoes by the door as they entered the house.

"I'll just go get her."

"Hey!" He called as he rounded the corner to see Graham attempting to do the hula, which looked more like a sideways moonwalk, in the space between the island and kitchen counter. Kate was leaning with her hands against the edge of the island, one still clutching the knife she had been using to cut up a line of vegetables, eyes closed, her body shaking with laughter. He couldn't help but smile.

He would never tire of hearing her laugh.

"Hey Becks! We're home."

Her eyes drifted open, amusement still dancing in them even as she forced away the giggles, a mock glare taking their place.

"How many times have I told you not to call me Becks?"

"Oh, I apologize, Rebecca darling, will you ever forgive me?" He teased back, her eyes narrowing in response. "My mother and daughter are here."

His eyes flickered back over his shoulder before coming back to settle on her as she placed the knife on the counter and drew in a calming breath, wiping her hands on a towel.

"It's going to be fine." He reassured her as she walked toward him, nervous hands fixing her already perfect hair.

She had cut it again. The dirty blonde locks now fell to just below her shoulders; a wave of bangs falling across one side of her face. Just the small change made her look surprisingly different, though not to him. He would never be able to not recognize her.

The two red heads were still in the entry when they returned to the room, squeezing Kate's hand in his own. Maybe she wasn't the only one who was nervous.

"Mother, Pumpkin, meet Rebecca Rogers."

"Hello Martha, Alexis."

Both sets of eyes shot up at the greeting, jaws falling open and Kate shifted at his side, eyes darting between them and the floor, like she was too afraid to look in one place for too long.

His mother moved first, shaking her head as she took a hesitant step forward. "Kate?"

Kate's eyes rose to meet hers, a small smile flickering over her lips as she nodded. "Hi Martha."

"Oh my dear," and then his fiancé was wrapped once again in his mother's arms, tears running down the elder red head's cheeks.

Castle turned to his daughter who was watching the other two women, awestruck. "Alexis?"

"She's alive."

His eyes followed her gaze as they landed on the three-stone ring encircling Kate's finger. A diamond surrounded by two smaller sapphires. An echo of her mother's but not an exact copy— a reminder that she could be more.

"We'll explain over dinner, I promise," he soothed, an arm wrapping around his daughter as Martha pulled back still holding Kate lovingly by the shoulders, giving her a once over.

Her eyes landed on Kate's slightly protruding belly, the swell mostly disguised by the flowing tank top she was wearing.

"How far along are you?"

Kate gave another wide grin, the white of her teeth shining against her tan skin. "Almost five months."

Castle's thoughts drifted to that deck again and then to the third bedroom which they were slowly turning into a nursery, pale yellow with a Winnie the Pooh theme, the cherry wood crib sitting in one corner along with a rocker and changing table. Pictures of his family, he and Kate and her parents lined the walls. They wanted their child to know where he or she came from even if all the darker details would lie dormant for years.

He was snapped from his reverie by Graham's shouts from the other room. "Becks! Things that I don't think are supposed to be bubbling are starting to bubble!"

Kate turned, ducking back into the kitchen with a quick "excuse me", leaving the three members of the Castle Clan still standing in the hall.

The "Don't call me Becks!" carrying back for them to hear.

"Richard?"

They were both staring at him now, arms crossed over their chests. He didn't want to have to explain this alone, turning to lead them further into the cottage he motioned for them to follow. "You want to see the house? Come on, I'll give you the tour. The back porch has an awesome view of the ocean."

"Richard!"

"Dad!"

Letting out a sigh he turned to face them once again. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but we wanted to make sure that everything had died down and she was safe before anyone found out. _Anyone. _And as of now you are the only two we've told. Graham and I knew since the beginning."

"But Dad, how could this possibly be safe for either one of you?"

"I'm still writing my books but any press is done on the mainland, besides it's not like I'm a superstar writer like Patterson or Connelly, and Kate has been working as a consulting investigator for a local law firm. She mostly works from home and for any other investigation it's her job not to be seen. The rest of Bracken's operation fell apart after he died. It's finished and she finally feels safe, that's enough for me."

The two women looked at each other before turning to nod at him in tandem.

He let out a sigh of relief. He could still see the hesitation in their eyes, the uncertainty about his sudden life changes, the lies the deceit. And they were right, this may not be the best of ways but it was the only way that didn't involve constant threats or worry. Maybe his life would be easier if he had never walked into that prison or had just given Kate bus fare when she walked out of the barred gates. But he didn't want easy, he wanted her and his family would come to accept that.

He nodded back. That was enough of an explanation for now.

"Okay, let's go see this beach."

Graham was attempting to steal a piece of pasta, causing Kate to whap his hand with the back of a wooden spoon as both of the old friends mindlessly danced to the tune on the radio. Touring his mother and Alexis through the kitchen, Castle vowed to himself that he would join them as soon as he showed the others the view from the back and got them settled in the guest room.

He scanned the beach as his mother and daughter 'oohed' and 'awed' at the image of the sun setting over the bright blue water. When he looked over at them, Alexis had turned around and was watching him.

"What's up Pumpkin?"

"Are you happy Dad?"

It was a surreal feeling. Having everyone here.

A smile broke across his face. That's what this feeling was. As much as he loved his daughter, mother and the life they had built together, there had always been something missing, like a gaping wound in his life. When he had walked into the prison that first day that wound had begun to heal, like lines filling in the blanks of an unfinished story.

As he stood with his mother and daughter, pointing out the spot on the beach where he and Kate would be getting married the next day, hearing her laughter, swept out to him by the cool evening breeze, he felt the overwhelming sensation of true joy. For the first time, he could imagine an unerringly perfect ending.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

Fin.

* * *

Thank you all for reading. It has been a joy.

Thank you to Angie for the idea for this story as well as the cover art for this and the M chapters.

Thank you to Nic for being an awesome Beta and having a never ending supply of pom poms.

Thank you to Kate for poking holes in my plot line, talking me into writing M for the first time and listening to me rant about... pretty much everything from stubborn chapters to drunk guys at Super Bowl parties.

xo.


End file.
